Heartbeat

Chapter 1

“Mayaa. Mayaa. We’re here.” My mum’s voice startles me. I’m joining my architecture at Cambridge university. I plan to stay off-campus so I will have my own space and doesn’t need to share a same room with others.

My mother drives me to the house that I’ll be staying for the next three years, I guess. It’s a 3-storey house and I pick the third floor because it’s an attic floor with private bathroom. My parents were reluctant in the beginning when I stated my idea to stay off-campus but eventually I convinced them saying that it would be a great idea for me to be independent.

I open my eyes and scan around the area. It is indeed seemed like a nice neighborhood. We both get off from the car as we walk to the main door of the house. My mother presses the doorbell. Then a girl opens the door wearing a bright smile on her face. Her hair is auburn and straight tumbling over her shoulder.

“Hi, I’m Mayaa Andrew. New tenant.” I introduce myself to the girl with a pair of green eyes.

“Mayaa. Yeah of course. I was waiting for your arrival. I’m Hazel Green. Come in.” She welcomes me and my mother inside the house. My mother’s eyes scan the spacious house and I assume she is pleased with the house and also having Hazel as my new housemate.

Thank God, she is decent or I can’t imagine what my protective mum would be reacting.

“This is my mum.” I introduce my mum as they both greet each other with a handshake.

“Come on, I’ll show your room. I asked my helpers to clean for you. So, you don’t need to worry about it.” Hazel says while we climbing up the stairs as me and my mum follows her.

“You really don’t have to trouble yourself Hazel. I mean I could have cleaned them.” I say politely.

“Don’t be. Here this is your room.” She unlocks the room door and I feel super excited to turn this room as my own space. It has the sky view ceiling since it is an attic room. The room has the instant warmth and cosiness. The ceilings are slanted with windows.

Hazel leaves us to set up my bedroom after helping us to carry my luggage. She has the fun personality and really impresses my mum. At least, my family wouldn’t be worrying much since they know I have an easy-going housemate plus I won’t be talking much to anyone and mind my own business.

My mum helps me to spread out the white bedsheet and set up my bed while I fold neatly my clothes and hang the others on the cupboard after arranging my books on the shelve. I like to keep my bedroom in minimalist so it won’t be too messy for my sight.

It takes thirty minutes for us to complete everything.

“I’ll miss you honey.” My mother wraps her arms around me tightly. Believe it or not, this is the first time of me staying away from my family. I’m going to miss them too especially my mum’s warm hug that I’ll look for whenever I’m in trouble or anxiety creeps in.

She becomes my friend after the hell of crap that I went through in my life. “Give me a call if you need anything or if you need money. You have the emergency kit with you right? I think I put in the second drawer in the bathroom.”

“Mum, mum. I’m fine. Don’t panic please. Remember, I’m your toughest warrior.” I smile assuredly to my mum and hug her back.

She bids goodbye to Hazel who is sitting at the living room with her laptop. My gaze fix on my mum who is hopping in her with heavy heart. It is distressing to her leaving but I think this is part of adulting. Tears form in my eyes but I halt it before my mum see it.

I wave at her and wait by the door until her car drives off from the neighbourhood.

When I return inside after closing the door, Hazel’s voice stops my steps. “Mayaa, we didn’t get to introduce ourselves properly. Which department are you in?” I near her and sit on the couch opposite her. “True.”

“I’m in architecture. Freshie. I’m from New York.”

“No way! I’m in that department too but a year ahead from you. I can help you, no worries. I’m from here. This is one of my parent’s house too.” She replies. A sigh of relief escapes my lips when I heard that she’s in the same department.

“You have a beautiful house. I love my room.” I want to end the conversation with Hazel as fast as possible and jump on the bed to have my sleep. The drive took three hours but still tired me out. I need a proper sleep after weeks of preparing to come here. I look like a zombie with dark circles.

“Thanks, hun, credits to my mother. She’s an interior designer.”

Hazel seems to get me and asks me to head back to room. “We have all the time to catch up. Why not you go and rest?” With that, I gladly jog to upstairs and step under the shower to relax my muscles before.

***

The rest of the week went off with orientation and course registration which I have five papers of introductory papers to the whole course. Those are architectural history and theory papers. I have studio too for twice a week.

Today is my first day of classes and this morning while getting ready I feel slightly nervous. I wear a white Levis tee and tucked it with a pair of jeans. I changed the way I dresses up after following my sister’s advices. She said a girl should always upgrade her look when she stepping the next level of her life. But I prefer comfy wear over anything. After tying my white sneaker lace, I step out from the room.

I sit in the front row and there are some girls chatting among themselves after smiling curtly toward me. I take out my notebook to jot down the notes and wait for the lecture to start. The lecture goes on smoothly and I able to understand the first topic taught by Prof. Gellen. But something unexpected happened, he gives us an assignment in the first day of class.

Everyone gasps with widen eyes when he says that.

After the two hours class, I walk out slinging my backpack and check my phone if there’s any new messages.

One message from Hazel: ‘Where are you Mayaa?’

‘A place where have access to a variety of resources.’

I laugh inwardly after sending that reply to her. Hazel and I become a good friend despite being housemates. I slowly make my way to the corridor and glances over the students who strolling there. The corridor is filled with indistinct noises from everyone. At a moment I feel like I’m in a night market.

The library captivates me and leave me speechless. It is huge and breath-taking. It possesses the charm that no any other building has.

I pick a table at the corner and start searching information for my assignment. I tuck out my notebook and read the question given by Prof. Gellen. I swear it’s a tricky question.

Later, I hear a heavy huff from my opposite. I look up from the laptop screen and control my laugh so it won’t disturb others in the library. It’s Hazel with her stern look. I straightened myself, pushing my spectacles up to top of my head.

“You’re the real asshole, Mayaa. What’s with your twisted words?” She hisses at me, demanding me as she placed both her hands on the table.

“It wasn’t twisted at all. I thought you could figure it easily.” I reply as I control the laughter.

“I hate you and you owe me a lunch.”

I shrug my shoulder carelessly, “Not a biggie. Name it and it’s yours.”

She squels in joy and her expression changes, “Who spend the first day of her class at library? Mayaa drop this and follow me. You’re meeting my friends tonight. I’m having a house party and I really hope you don’t mind.”

Muscles on my forehead wrinkles after hearing her words. Meeting new people and partying aren’t my vocabularies. I pause for a while and speak, “I don’t mind as long as no one comes to my territory.”

“And please go ahead without me. I have assignment to complete, Hazel. Forgive me.”

Our conversation become a trouble when we hear hisses from some of the students to our direction. Hazel glares at them and return her gaze to me. “Andrew, let’s go. I’ll give you the answer. Gellen is an ass.”

I greatly astound when I heard her calling me by my last name. It has been a while since anyone call me by my last name. Suddenly, sadness, disappointment and anger washes over me. It brings back the black day of my life. And since the day Ryan left me, I no longer hear voices or my heart doesn’t flutter at random time.

“You okay, hun?” Hazel questions me and her voice snaps me out from my thought.

I shake my head as a soft smile forms on my lips. Hazel adds, “You really don’t want to join later?”

“Nope.”

She sighs. “Can I still try to change your mind?” I tilt up my head again to see her pouty lips and eager eyes.

My lips thin up watching my housemate who really tyring her best to change my mind which never going to happen. “This hot fella from Engineering department is coming later. You’ll regret for missing the biggest chance of hanging out with him.”

I still have the smirk while she describes the ‘hot fella’, “He is so hot with his killer body and eyes. How can I forget to tell you about his height? Tall and muscular. I’ve seen him topless once. Damn his body! I just wanna run my hand all over his body.” She whispers, causing me to choke and starts coughing.

“Hazel Greens!”

“What? Mayaa, you will agree with me if you see him. He is a package, Mayaa Andrew! So, tell me. Are you coming?” Her eyes twinkle. I find all her description as a cliché just like in the movies or novel.

“Still a no.” I wink and shift my eyes back to the laptop screen.

“None of that tempt you?” She asks in disbelief.

“Not even close to the spelling.” She groans and drops her head on the table.

“Fine you win this time. I’ll see you later housemate.”

I can’t help but chuckle seeing Hazel walking out with a sulky face. My thoughts wander to the past which feels like standing at the end of tunnel. After months and weeks of losing my sleeps, the memories strike me.

Unsure if it’s a good or bad sign.

***

It is around 10pm when I walk back to the house after having my dinner. As mentioned by Hazel, the party is still on since I can hear music even from far. Luckily this neighbourhood solely for the students or else anyone would lodge complain against Hazel.

As I put my steps forward, everyone’s eyes trails over me and I feel undeniably uncomfortable with their gazes. Without looking at any of them, I open the house door and there goes; my heart starts pounding. In an instant, I place my hand on my chest as I feel the beat while my eyes roam around the living room.

This can’t be happening! I close my eyes tightly in the midst of crowd when I begin to hear the voice as well. I hear it faintly.

“Mayaa darling!!! You’re here finally!” Hazel looks a little drunk as she reaches up to hug me. I smile and hug her back but my mind bombard with questions.

“Are you drunk, Hazel?” I ask her when she breaks the hug that almost chokes me.

“Just a little.” She replies and drags me by my arms. I roll my eyes seeing Hazel in her drunk state and calls for everyone’s attention. Geez, woman!

“Excuse me. Excuse me people! Sshh!! Look at me.” The crowd stops whatever they were doing and avert their attention to us. I feel nothing but awkward. Some girls eye me from top to bottom and I could sense lusty stares from a group of male clowns.

“This is Mayaa Andrew! My housemate and best girl! Say hi to Mayaa.” I blink few times not knowing what to do with the greets so I just smile timidly.

“Woo, Hazel you didn’t tell us you have a hot chick as your housemate. Hi Mayaa!!” I hear a boy yells from a corner. I almost puke myself when he claims me as hot chick. He must be blind!

“Back off, Tom. Keep your d**k in your pants!” Hazel snaps at him back. A few seconds later, they music continue to blare and everyone starts to carry on with their beers and pot. I can’t stand the smell and when I ready to leave Hazel nears me with a beer.

“Here. Have this.” I raise my eyebrows at her.

“Oh God, Mayaa! Live a little.” She groans and drops her head on my shoulder. “Damn, Andrew. You smell so good. I can eat you.”

“Heyyy! Stop it. You’re really drunk.” I smack her arms and push her away. She laughs like a maniac with my reaction and whispers, “He’s here. I can’t help but drool. He looks so hot tonight.”

“Hazel, where have you been?” A girl approaches us suddenly.

“Melissa darling!! Mayaa this is Melissa! Mel this is Mayaa.” Hazel introduces me again. Melissa flashes me a smile and extends her hand to me. Melissa has a shapely figure and her hazel eyes adds more to her gorgeousness.

“Nice to meet you Mayaa. But Hazel I need you out there. Mayaa we will catch later okay.” I watch them walking out for whatever emergency with others who crowding the garden meanwhile I enter the kitchen to find some food for myself.

I open the fridge and take out the orange juice. When I was pouring out the juice in a glass, I hear someone calling out name. “Mayaa.” I glance up and my breath hold-up immediately. My whole-body shudders under his voice and gaze.

The familiar blue eyes glues on mine. I scan him in a glance and he looks way hotter than he used to. I guess he’s working out. Then I remembered the reason behind my rapid heartbeat. It’s because of him. I mean I don’t understand how can he still make me feel this way even after years. It takes a while for me to reply him. But I’m not in the state of mind to have any words with him.

Ryan walks in my direction leaving me glaring at him. “I can’t believe, I’ll see you here Mayaa. I’m so happy to see you. How are you doing?”

“I can’t say the same Ryan.” I snap at him. What kind of replies he expecting from me?

“Mayaa, that happened long time ago. Leave it already please. Do you know how sorry am I?” He says softly, merely sounded like a plead. I scoff and ready to him behind at the kitchen but he stops me.

“Please Mayaa. I’m sorry.”

I yank away his hand from my arms and turn to face him. “Pain is still pain Ryan. You have no idea what you put me through. And I think coward should be your middle name from that day onward. Excuse me.” He stands there in bewilder with the words I throw to him in hatred and anger.

That night I has to snap out him from my memories and forces myself to sleep it off. Seeing him after years, makes my mind to flood with the last awful silly conversation I had with him. The fact that he still making me feel the same way, sweating me out.

The self-blaming game begins when I find myself still losing myself easily in those blue eyes.

I keep talking to myself until I feel as myself again. The hot shower makes me all better but the heartbeat doesn’t get any better. The whole night I feel the fluttering. I turn and toss on the bed until I hop out from the bed and open the drawer where I kept my accessories. My eyes land on the black silicon wristband. I take it out from there and wear it around my wrist.

I fiddle the wristband until sleep consumes me.

***

“It’s a brand-new day, Mayaa Andrew! Good luck, don’t let anyone spoil it.” I give myself a pep talk and plasters a wide smile as I check my outfit on the mirror. I pick a black knitted sweater and ripped jeans to go along with. I wear a pair of black Vans sneaker matches with my sweater. Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the kitchen.

After a long hour of partying, it is surprising to find Hazel and Melissa up so early. “Good morning, ladies.” I greet them.

“Morning!!” They greet me restlessly. I suppose that they have the after-effect this morning since they really drank hardly last night.

“You want Aspirin?” I ask them while filling my bowl of cereal with milk. Hazel looks at me with her half sleepy eyes. “You said you’re not even tempt but I saw you talking with him. You’re a naughty nerd!”

“You mean Ryan? You exaggerated. He looks okay.” I reply nonchantly while Melissa and Hazel give me a shocked expression. A deliberate lie but thinking about him this morning doesn’t thrill me much. I put a spoon of cereal into my mouth while the two ladies at my opposite are in complete shock.

“You’re kidding.” Melissa let out a quick bark of laughter.

“How can you say that he looks ‘okay’?” Hazel questions me in disbelief.

“I think Mayaa has a point. I think Ryan is nothing compared to Owen.” My eyebrows arch when a new name pops in between.

“Oh, please. Ryan is hotter than your boyfriend.”

They both continue to argue and I roll my eyes at their debate. Shaking my head, I wash the bowl and I can hear my voices in my head.

Fuck you Ryan!

While letting the water to fill my tumbler, I hear Melissa’s words. “I don’t know what happened to him last night. He left and still in bad mood.”

Hazel chuckles, “You know Owen, right? His mood swings could be worse than a pregnant lady.”

“I think he’s in his period. Oh shoot, Hazel let’s go. He’s here.” They both gather their bags and rush out to the main door. Hazel turns to me and asks if I need a ride with them but I refuses the offer politely.

“Oh Hazel, she will be fine. Ryan is here.” I take a long breath when I hear his name but they both give me a wink as they walk out from the house.

I grit my teeth in annoyance and follow them. Ryan stands there wearing a maroon sweater and a pair of jeans. His hair is neatly combed just like the before. “What you want?”

“There’s no any ‘Hello Ryan. Good morning.’?” He asks, amused.

Jerk.

“Ryan, leave please.” I give him a murderous look and starts walking by the pavement, ignoring Ryan.

While walking, I hear a car nearing to my side and slows down. The windows are tinted and someone pulls it down. It’s Melissa, she whistles “Peww, hey hottie. Need a ride?”

“Oh no thanks.” I reply, faking an arrogant tone.

“Nooo, come on. We will give you ride. A gorgeous lady shouldn’t be tiring herself by walking. We can go for a movie after class” I laugh at her words and pretend to think deeply about it while making slow steps.

“Still a-, and before I could finish my words, the black Ferrari speeds off and leave me amazed.

‘He’s definitely in period.’ I thought to myself but before to process the sudden action of Melissa’s boyfriend, Owen. Ryan’s car pulls over. “Mayaa”

For f**k sake, give me a break!