MY COCKY BASKETBALL PLAYER

Chapter 8

Gemma cornered me at my locker on Monday.

"Come to the game."

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

She asked again on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. By Friday, I was running out of ways to say no.

"Why do you want me there so badly?" I asked.

She leaned against the lockers. "Because you never do anything anymore."

"I do things."

"You study. You tutor. You go home. That's it."

"That's not it."

"Nora." She looked at me. "When was the last time you did something fun? Something that wasn't for money or school or your future?"

I didn't answer.

"Exactly." She grabbed my arm. "One game. If you hate it, you never have to come again. I promise."

I sighed.

"Fine."

She squealed. I regretted it immediately.

***

Saturday evening, I stood at the entrance of the gym.

The noise hit me first. Then the smell. Popcorn and sweat and too many people in one room. I almost turned around.

Gemma grabbed my arm before I could escape.

"Come on. I saved us seats."

She dragged me through the crowd. Past the bleachers. Past the cheerleaders. Past everyone. I kept my head down.

We found our seats near the middle. Close enough to see everything. Too close for my liking.

"This is great," Gemma said.

"This is terrible."

"You'll survive."

The game started. I watched without watching. Players running back and forth. A ball going through a hoop. People cheering. It was all noise.

Then Derek got the ball.

He was different on the court.

I'd seen him in the hallways. I'd seen him in the study room. I'd seen him smirk and slouch and scroll through his phone like nothing mattered.

But here, he was something else.

He moved fast. Confident. Weaving through players like they were standing still. The crowd screamed his name. He didn't look up. He just played.

He took a shot. It went in. The crowd exploded.

He smiled.

That smile. The one he gave to everyone. The one he would never give to me.

"See?" Gemma said. "He's good."

"He's alright."

She laughed. "You're impossible."

I watched him. I didn't mean to. I just did.

He was so easy up there. So sure of himself. Like the world belonged to him. Like he had never had to work for anything in his life.

I hated him.

But I couldn't stop watching.

***

Halftime.

I got up. I needed air. I needed to move.

"I'm getting water," I said.

"I'll come with you."

"No. Stay. I'll be right back."

I walked to the water fountain. There was a line. I waited.

Then I heard her voice.

"Look who showed up."

I turned around. Maya. Two of her friends behind her. All three of them smiling. Not nice smiles.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "Didn't know you liked basketball."

I turned back to the fountain. "I'm just here with a friend."

"Oh, I'm sure." She stepped closer. "You're the tutor, right? The one who follows Derek around."

"I don't follow anyone."

"I've seen the way you look at him."

I turned around. "And how is that?"

She smiled. "Like you want something you can't have."

Her friends laughed.

I looked at her. "I don't want anything from him. I'm just doing my job."

"Sure." She tilted her head. "Does he even know you exist?"

I didn't answer.

"That's what I thought." She laughed. "You're just the girl his mom hired. Nothing more."

She walked away. Her friends followed.

I stood there for a long moment. My hands were shaking. I filled my water bottle. I walked back to my seat.

Gemma looked at me. "You okay?"

"Fine."

***

The game ended. They won. Everyone cheered.

I stood up.

"Can we go?"

"Wait," Gemma said. "I want to say hi to someone."

"Who?"

"My mom. She's over there."

I followed her through the crowd. Past the bleachers. Past the cheerleaders. Past everyone.

We ended up near the locker room. People were gathering. Parents. Friends. Girls.

Then Derek came out.

He was sweaty. Tired. But smiling. Surrounded by people. Everyone talking at once. Everyone wanting his attention.

Maya reached him first. She hugged him. He laughed at something she said. She touched his arm. He didn't move away.

Then he looked up.

He saw me.

For a second, neither of us moved.

He looked at me. I looked at him.

Then he looked away.

He looked back at Maya. Said something. She laughed. He smiled.

He didn't look at me again.

Like I was nothing.

Like I didn't exist.

"Ready?" I asked Gemma.

She looked at me. "Yeah. Let me just say bye to my mom."

I waited. I kept my eyes on the floor. I didn't look at him again.

I couldn't.

***

I walked home alone.

Gemma's mom offered me a ride. I said no. I told them I wanted to walk. That I needed the air.

I walked home in the cold. The streets were quiet. Everyone else was still at the game.

I replayed it in my head. The way he played. The way he moved. The way he smiled.

Then the way he looked at me.

Then the way he looked away.

Like I was nothing.

Like I didn't exist.

I got home. The house was empty. My mother was at work.

I sat on my bed. I checked my phone.

No texts.

I told myself I didn't care.

I did.

***

Monday morning.

I walked into school with my head down.

I saw him in the hallway. With his friends. With Maya. She was standing too close. Laughing too loud. Touching his arm.

He looked at me. Just for a second.

Then he looked away.

Like I was nothing.

Like I didn't exist.

I kept walking.

I didn't look back.