MY COCKY BASKETBALL PLAYER

Chapter 11

Monday came.

I couldn't bring myself to show up at school.

I lay in my bed, covered in my blanket. The curtains were drawn. My phone was off. I didn't want to see anything. I didn't want to hear anything. I just wanted to disappear.

My mother knocked on my door before she left for work.

"Nora? Are you up?"

I didn't answer.

"I'm leaving. There's food in the fridge."

I didn't answer.

She paused. I could feel her waiting. Then her footsteps faded. The front door opened. Closed.

I was alone.

I pulled the blanket tighter.

***

I don't know how long I stayed like that. Hours. Maybe longer. The light behind the curtains changed. Morning became afternoon. Afternoon became evening.

I didn't move.

I thought about the cafeteria. The way everyone stared. The way Maya smiled. The way Derek laughed.

I thought about the videos. The comments. The names.

Charity case.

Nerd.

Nothing.

I closed my eyes.

***

Then I heard it.

The front door opening. Footsteps. Voices.

My mother's voice. Then another.

Gemma.

I pulled the blanket over my head.

Her footsteps got louder. Then my bedroom door flew open.

"Nora."

I didn't move.

"Nora."

I felt her weight on the bed. She grabbed the blanket and pulled it down.

I looked up at her. She looked down at me.

"You look terrible," she said.

I didn't answer.

"You haven't been answering your phone. You haven't been at school. Everyone's been asking about you."

I didn't answer.

She was quiet for a moment. Then she said, "You haven't seen it, have you?"

I didn't answer.

"The video, Nora. The cafeteria video."

I still didn't answer.

She pulled out her phone. She hesitated.

"Gemma. What do you mean?"

She handed me the phone.

***

I stared at the screen.

The video. The cafeteria. Maya flipping my tray. Me standing there covered in food. The laughter.

Views.

50,000.

100,000.

500,000.

I scrolled down. The comments.

"Who is this girl?"

"Charity case 😂"

"She deserved it."

"Look at her face lol."

"Nerd got what she deserved."

"Does she really think Derek would date her?"

"She's nothing."

"Pathetic."

"I'd laugh too."

"Someone help her 😭😭😭"

"Nah let her suffer."

I couldn't stop reading. I couldn't stop scrolling.

500,000 people. 500,000 people laughing at me.

I handed the phone back. My hands were shaking.

"Nora," Gemma said.

I didn't answer.

"Nora, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was this bad."

I didn't answer.

She reached for my hand. I pulled away.

"I need to be alone," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Please."

She stood up. She looked at me one more time.

"I'll come back tomorrow," she said.

I didn't answer.

She left.

***

I stayed in bed.

I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't throw anything.

I just lay there.

500,000 views.

I thought about the cafeteria. The way everyone stared. The way Derek laughed. The way Maya smiled.

I thought about the comments. The names. The words.

Charity case.

Nerd.

Nothing.

Pathetic.

I closed my eyes.

***

Tuesday came.

I didn't go to school.

Gemma came back. She brought food. She sat with me. She didn't show me her phone this time.

"You can't stay here forever," she said.

"I know."

"People are going to forget. They always do."

I didn't answer.

"Ignore them," she said. "They're nobody."

I nodded.

"I will ignore them."

She looked at me. She knew I was lying. But she didn't push.

She stayed for an hour. Then she left.

***

Wednesday came.

Thursday came.

Friday came.

I didn't go to school.

I stayed in bed. I stared at the ceiling. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I just existed.

My mother knocked on Friday night.

"Nora. You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten in two days."

"I'm fine."

She opened the door. She looked at me. Her face was worried. More than worried.

"Nora. What's going on?"

I didn't answer.

"Please. Talk to me."

I looked at her. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her everything. The tutoring. The bullying. The video. Derek. All of it.

But I couldn't.

"I'm just tired," I said.

She didn't believe me. I could see it in her eyes. But she didn't push.

She sat on the edge of my bed. She brushed my hair back.

"I'm here," she said. "When you're ready."

I nodded.

She kissed my forehead. Then she left.

I stared at the ceiling.

***

Saturday.

I didn't get up.

I didn't shower. I didn't get dressed. I didn't walk to his house.

I stayed in bed.

2 PM came. 2:15. 2:30.

I didn't move.

Then my phone rang.

I looked at it. His mother.

I stared at the screen. I let it ring. I let it ring again. Then I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Nora? It's Derek's mother. Are you okay? You didn't come today."

I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Oh no.? Derek said you were sick."

I froze.

Derek said I was sick.

He didn't tell her. He didn't tell her what he did. He didn't tell her about the cafeteria. He didn't tell her about the video. He didn't tell her that his friends humiliated me in front of the whole school.

He just said I was sick.

Like I was home with a cold.

Like nothing happened.

"Do you need anything?" she asked.

"No. Thank you."

"Should we reschedule? Maybe next week?"

I paused.

"Yes. Next week."

"Okay. Take care of yourself, Nora."

"I will."

I hung up.

I put the phone down.

I stared at the ceiling.

He said I was sick.

He didn't tell her.

He didn't tell her anything.

I didn't know what to feel. Angry? Relieved? Confused?

I closed my eyes.

I hate him, I thought. I hate his laugh. I hate the way he watched. I hate that he didn't stop it. I hate that he didn't even care.

I hate him.

I said it again. And again. Until the words didn't feel like anything.