MY COCKY BASKETBALL PLAYER

Chapter 15

Monday came so fast than ever.

I saw him in the hallway before first period. He was with his friends. Laughing at something. Shoulders loose. Like nothing had happened.

He saw me.

For a second, I thought he might say something. Nod. Acknowledge me. Something.

He looked away.

He kept walking. His friends kept walking. They didn't even notice me.

I stood there. People pushed past me on both sides. I didn't move.

He saved me. He carried me out of that hallway. He asked if I was okay.

And now he acted like I didn't exist.

I don't know what's worse. The mockery. Or the silence.

I thought about it all weekend. I replayed it a hundred times. Maya's hand in my hair. The lockers against my back. The camera. The torn fabric. And then his voice. Sharp. Loud. "Get off her."

I hated him. I still hated him. Nothing about him had changed.

But he saved me.

I made a decision.

I walked toward him.

***

"Derek."

He stopped. He turned around.

His friends stopped too. They looked at me. Then at him. Then back at me. One of them smirked.

He looked surprised. He actually looked surprised. Like I was the last person he expected to speak to.

"What?"

I glanced at his friends. They weren't moving. They were waiting for something. Entertainment. A show.

"Can I talk to you? Alone?"

He hesitated.

Then he shrugged. "Whatever."

He jerked his head at his friends. "Go ahead."

They didn't want to go. I could see it. They wanted to stay and watch. But they went. Slowly. Looking back over their shoulders.

One of them said something under his breath. The others laughed.

Then it was just us.

The hallway was emptying. People heading to class. Lockers slamming. Footsteps fading.

I had practiced this in my head. Different versions. Different words. All of them sounded better in my head.

"What do you want?" he asked.

I took a breath.

"Thank you."

He stared at me.

"For what?"

"For stopping Maya. For getting me out of there."

He didn't say anything.

"I just wanted to say thank you."

He looked at me. Really looked. His eyes moved across my face. The bruise on my cheek was mostly gone. My lip had healed. But he looked anyway. Like he was checking.

Something flickered in his expression. I didn't know what it was. It was there for a second. Then it was gone.

"Yeah," he said. "Whatever."

He turned around and walked away.

I stood there.

Whatever.

That was it. That was all.

***

I went to class. I sat in the back. I opened my notebook and stared at the page. I didn't write anything.

Whatever.

I don't know what I expected. Something more. Something less. Something different.

He saved me. He put his hands on Maya. He told her to stay off me. He carried me down the hallway in front of everyone.

And all he could say was "whatever."

I hate him.

I hate him so much.

But I thanked him. I actually thanked him. I walked up to him in the middle of the hallway where anyone could see and I thanked him.

What was I thinking?

***

Between second and third period, I heard them.

"Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"The tutor. She walked up to Derek."

"What did she want?"

"I don't know. But he walked away."

"She probably thanked him."

"Pathetic."

They laughed. I kept walking. I didn't turn around. I didn't look at them.

I was used to the laughing. It didn't matter anymore. It hadn't mattered for a long time.

But this was different. Because this time, I'd given them something to laugh about.

I'd walked up to him. In front of everyone. I'd thanked him.

Pathetic.

Maybe they were right.

***

The rest of the day was normal.

No one bothered me. Maya wasn't in the hallways. Her friends weren't either. It was quiet. Almost peaceful.

But it didn't feel peaceful. It felt empty. Like the calm before something. Like everyone was waiting.

Waiting for what, I didn't know.

***

I got home. The house was empty. My mother was working another shift. I put my bag down. I sat on my bed.

I replayed it.

The way he looked at me. The way he said "whatever." The way he turned around and walked away. Like I was nothing. Like the rescue was nothing. Like the whole thing meant nothing.

I shouldn't have thanked him.

He didn't deserve it. He saved me because someone had to. Not because he cared. Not because he felt bad. Because he couldn't stand there and watch.

That's all it was.

I pulled out my phone. No texts. No calls. Nothing.

I put it down.

I lay back and stared at the ceiling.

I hate him.

I said it again. And again. Until the words didn't feel like anything.

But they still felt like something.

And I hated that most of all.