MY COCKY BASKETBALL PLAYER

Chapter 19

Friday.

I walked into school and felt it immediately.

The stares were worse than before. People weren't just laughing. They were pointing. Whispering. Showing each other their phones.

"She's back."

"The suspended girl."

I kept my head down. I walked to my locker. I could feel eyes on me the whole way. Not just a few. Everyone. The hallway felt smaller. Tighter. Like the walls were closing in.

I opened my locker. I grabbed my books. I didn't look at anyone.

A group of girls walked past. One of them laughed. Loud. Not at anything in particular. Just at me.

I closed my locker. I walked to class.

***

First period.

I sat in the back. I kept my head down. I didn't answer questions. I didn't take notes. I just stared at the board.

The teacher didn't call on me. She didn't look at me either. Like I was invisible. Or like she didn't know what to say.

I preferred it that way.

***

Second period.

Same thing. Same stares. Same whispers. I kept my head down.

A guy behind me tapped my shoulder.

"Hey. You're the one from the video, right?"

I didn't answer.

"The party video. The drinking one."

I still didn't answer.

He laughed. "That was wild. You were like—" he mimicked falling. His friends laughed.

I stared at the board.

***

Third period.

I was walking to class when someone stepped in front of me.

Maya.

She was with two of her friends. They were blocking the hallway. People walked around us. Some of them slowed down to watch.

"Look who's back," Maya said.

I didn't answer.

"How was suspension? Fun?"

I tried to walk past her. She stepped in front of me again.

"I asked you a question."

"It was fine."

"Fine?" She laughed. "You got suspended for being a drunk mess. And you're calling it fine?"

I didn't answer.

She leaned closer. "You know Tyler got a warning, right? And I got a warning. And you got suspended." She smiled. "That's how it works. People like us don't get in trouble. People like you do."

I stared at her.

"You're nothing," she said. "You've always been nothing. And now everyone knows it."

She walked away. Her friends followed.

I stood there for a moment. Then I kept walking.

***

At Lunch.

I sat with Gemma. I wasn't hungry. I pushed food around my plate.

People kept looking. People kept whispering.

I heard someone say, "She got suspended and they didn't. That's hilarious."

I didn't react.

Gemma's hands were clenched. "Ignore them."

I tried.

Then I saw Derek. He was at his table. With his friends. Tyler was there.

He looked at me. For a second. Just a second.

Then he looked away.

Like nothing happened. Like he didn't watch. Like he didn't stand there while I was humiliated.

I didn't look away. I watched him.

He didn't look back.

Gemma noticed. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing."

"You're looking at him."

"I'm not."

"You are."

I looked away. I stared at my plate.

"I hate him," Gemma said.

I didn't answer.

***

After lunch. I was walking to class.

Someone tapped my shoulder.

I turned around. A guy I didn't know. He was holding his phone.

"Hey. Can I get your autograph?"

I stared at him.

"What?"

He showed me his phone. A meme. My face. The drink. The fall. Text over it: "When you try to prove you're not dating the tutor but end up dating the floor."

I didn't laugh. I didn't react.

"You're famous," he said. "Everyone's seen it."

I walked away.

He called after me. "Come on, don't be like that!"

I kept walking.

***

The rest of the day was the same.

People kept looking. People kept laughing. People kept showing each other their phones.

I kept my head down. I kept walking.

***

Friday night.

I had a shift at the café.

I didn't want to go. I was tired. My head hurt. My chest felt heavy.

But I needed the money.

I put on my uniform. I walked to work.

The café was quiet when I got there. A few customers. The usual crowd. Mr. Ellis was behind the counter. He nodded when he saw me.

"You're on register tonight."

I nodded. I tied my apron. I took my place.

The first hour was normal. Orders. Coffee. Sandwiches. I moved through it without thinking.

The second hour was the same.

Then a group of kids walked in.

I recognized them. Not by name. By face. They went to my school. Younger. Sophomores, maybe.

They saw me. They stopped talking.

Then one of them laughed.

"Hey, it's her."

"The video girl."

They walked up to the counter. They were all smiling. Not nice smiles.

"Can I get a latte?" one of them said.

I nodded. I started making it.

"Hey," another one said. "Do the thing. From the video."

I didn't answer.

"Come on. Fall down. It was funny."

I kept making the latte.

"She's not going to do it," the first one said. "She's too embarrassed."

"Probably sober now."

They laughed.

I handed them the latte. I didn't say anything.

They took it. They walked to a table. They kept looking at me. Kept laughing.

I stood behind the register. My hands were shaking.

Mr. Ellis came over. "You okay?"

"Fine."

"You know them?"

"No."

He looked at them. Then at me. He didn't say anything else.

***

The rest of the shift was the same.

People came in. People ordered. People looked at me.

Some of them recognized me. Some of them didn't.

But I felt it. The weight of it. The video. The meme. The laughter.

I kept working. I kept my head down.

***

I got home late.

My mother was already asleep. The house was quiet.

I sat on my bed. I didn't turn on the light.

I replayed the day. The stares. The whispers. Maya. The meme. The café.

I thought about Derek. Looking at me. Looking away.

I thought about the way he said nothing. The way he did nothing.

He just watched.

I didn't check my phone.

I lay down. I stared at the ceiling.

I didn't think about him.

I didn't.