THE LYING KING

Scar pt4

I sat back in the tub, letting my locs drape over the side. I sunk my shoulders into the now just lukewarm water. My chest has started to get cold, even with the mass of curly, jet-black hair. The air was stiff; mostly with my desire for her; but something else was there. If I wasn’t an alpha I would say I was insecure because doubt started to creep in. What if she didn’t like me? Or find me attractive? What if I wasn't her type? What if she didn’t feel us bond or worse what if she just didn’t want me? That couldn’t be true the way she moans softly when we touched. Or the way her fingers unconsciously wrapped around my back, it was only slightly for a second, but I could tell it was an intentional, time moved at a snail's pace when we touched even slightly it was intense. The chemistry between us was organic even if we weren’t mated, we would’ve been attracted to one another. I could tell just by how she looked at me, and she always tried to hide her gaze, but she couldn’t hide her smile, looking at her feet and just grinning and blushing. I loved knowing I made her feel that way. Still, I would always turn away so she wouldn’t know I was staring so hard and things between us got anymore awkward. I wish that I could control myself around her, but I couldn’t. That’s what made me blurt out that the bookstore was going to be gone, but before I could even explain, she ran off. I had to admit it hurt a little, but I knew it was a matter of time before we had to face the facts and the idea that she would be caught off guard by the sale of the store made me feel like I was going to hurt her in an unfair way so I just kind of blurted it out, before my brain could even think of the right way to say it. I feel like a fool, but I couldn’t take it back. I could only make it right, but where to begin? It had only been a couple hours, but I already missed her presence and then a strong feeling overcame me, and I felt myself again to change slower than usual but involuntary for sure first my spine elongated slight cracks like when you pop your knuckles, they were deafening in the bathroom though. I knew I had to get out of my tub. It couldn’t hold the weight of me after my shift, but why was I shifting? I’d already made up my mind, I wouldn’t change tonight. Thats when I realized it had to be her; she must be nearby. It was just after midnight, the full moon still very high in the sky. I could feel it shining through my windows. I glanced around, she was nowhere near me, not even out of the window under the moonlight. What was causing a shift? There was no other explanation, other than her possibly being close. Maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought, and I was going to have to shift, tonight, which meant that I would have to feed, in order to not be weak for a few days after and I don't even have an appetite. Shifting is very hard on the body for most Weres but especially species that to change size. Gettig really big or getting really small is a disaster on the joints and spine but it was involuntary in the light of the full moon. Which was insane to think that I can't control my shift, but I still have control over my hunger. I head off to my bedroom, I had to get out of the moonlight, and I also need to start studying. I need answers, and thankfully I knew just where to find them. I grabbed my towel gently. As soon as I left the light, I started to shift back. This time with no noise. All of the hair that had just been surrounding my face, shoulders, and neck; easily slid back into place. My bones fuse

back into themselves, reaching my normal height I sat down on my bed with the towel wrapped around my waist, still wet from the bath I started going through the boxes of books underneath my bed, looking for a specific one, but keeping an open mind about anything I found of relevance. So, what would cause me to involuntarily shift? I

was an alpha. This just didn’t happen. I couldn’t go long without shifting, not even two or

three full moons in a row, but I had just shifted the last full moon and fed quite well. It just didn’t make sense. Even sitting in the tub, in the moonlight, and had been for hours; and then that sudden spontaneous and aggressive shift was almost violent.