Seeking The Past

Chapter 30 - Ruining everything.

My birthday was only a couple days away. James spent every free moment he had with me. Luna Eve watched me like a hawk. Madison wanted to make my bonding special and got me a dress that was sleek but easy to tear because we had planned to go for a run as our wolf and find the perfect spot. I wanted to be excited but I never truly got to decide between Lee or James. I never got to say much to Lee. Where was he even at I wondered. I knew they did this to make James stronger. Once I was marked, all feelings Lee had would be gone as well. For some reason, that made me incredibly sad.

“Hey good news!” James came up and kissed me as I looked through RSVPs to my birthday in one of the vacant offices James promised to me.

“What’s that?” I said looking back to him.

“Lee will be back for your birthday.” He sat down at the desk. I paused and looked at him. “Yeah I guess the mystery is out, my dad took him to all of our neighboring packs to meet the unwed shewolves. He didn’t want it to be embarrassing. My mom told me and asked to keep it a secret.” James picked up a few invites and read them. My heart started to ache a dull ache. I knew It would be gone soon, that ache. Once I was marked it would all be gone. “Okay, I’ll leave you to plan. I got to get back.” He walked over and lifted me onto the desk. “I just had to see my Luna.” He kissed me and I kissed back.

“You better get back there my strong alpha.” I smiled at him and he kissed me again. I watched as he walked back out. I got down and looked at the invitations. I suddenly grew with anger and swooped them off the table. I stormed out of the office and down the stairs. I went out the pack house doors. I started to run and I transformed into my wolf, I took off in a run trying to clear my mind. I was mad so many people had a hand on my life and I was mad that I was forced to stay away from Lee because of some selfish Luna thought I could only be with one of her sons. I ran and ran until I came to the edge of the water. I transformed back and I put my hands in the water and rubbed my face as I started to cry. I just wanted to be a normal she wolf. I wanted to make my decision. I yelled out as my heart burned with pain. I felt sweat pool on my brow. I screamed with anger and pain. When I opened my eyes, I saw smoldering earth around me. I jumped up and splashed water on any little flames. I looked around me scared that anyone saw. Flashes of Julia scorching the earth floated into my mind.

“NO! No no no…” I started to run along the river. I’m not her! It was all just a vision. I didn’t do that. I ran until it started to get dark and I knew I had to go back. I transformed and slowly made my way back to the pack house. When I emerged from the forest. It was dark and I could see people running around. As I approached I saw Madison run toward me.

“Oh my god Hannah! We’ve been looking for you all day!” Someone covered me with a blanket. Madison grabbed me. “Someone contact the boys, tell them she’s been found.” Madison yelled out to the troops. Luna Eve stepped out of the pack house. She looked at me with her nose pointed up. As Madison and I past her and she said in a low tone.

“Dear this is for the best.” Madison paused but I persisted. We got up to my room and Madison ran me a bath. I looked in the mirror at my body. It was covered in mud and soot. I started to feel empty. What was wrong with me? I got into the bath and Madison helped wash my back.

“What did she mean?” Madison said softly.

“They sent Lee away so that I would finalize my bond with James. So James could grow to his full potential.” I said in a monotone. I was just blank.

“I’m sorry hun.” She said. We both jumped when the door burst open. James was standing there p*ssed. Madison ran out of the bathroom.

“What the f*ck are you thinking Hannah!? There could be rogues, there could be enemy packs!” I burst into tears. James took a deep breath and kneeled by the tub. “Hannah please, I was so worried.” James started to tear up and I didn’t think I had ever seen him so upset. “What if I lost you?” I took his hand.

“I’m sorry.” He threw my hand and got up rubbing the back of his neck. “The party planning got so overwhelming and I started to have a panic attack. I had to get out of the pack house and breath.” It was the only explanation I could think of.

“Then you come to ME or go to a guard or tell someone where your going!” James looked at me. It was as cold as the first time I saw him. “We can talk about this tomorrow. I just can’t right now. I need to calm down.” He walked out the door and I just sobbed. Tomorrow was the day and my mate couldn’t even look at me. Why was I ruining the only thing I had left. Then it struck me. James wasn’t the only thing I had left. I could always just reject him and leave.