Seeking The Past

Chapter 12 - Guilty

My parents came and got me from the hospital and I was just getting home. The car ride was silent. My mom had tried to ask me what was wrong many times, but she had finally given up. She couldn’t get a word out of me. The sun was setting and I looked out the windows as I made my way up to my room.

“Hannah, you can always talk to me. You know that right?” My mom called to me from the bottom of the stairs. I nodded to her and entered my room. I closed the door and pulled out my phone.

“ARE YOU OK!?” From Maddie, unread.

“Wonder twins said you’re awake so why are you ignoring me?!” From Maddie, unread.

“OK THATS IT IM COMING OVER!” From Maddie, unread.

I sighed and threw my phone on my bed. I thought about how Lee laid next to me. How it felt so right yet also wrong. How guilty I felt now. I covered my face and sat at my vanity. Before I could relax the door swung open.

“Excuse you! My sister is sick!” I heard Gena yell at someone. I looked up to see Madison with her arms crossed looking p*ssed.

“Madison I…” I burst into tears. I started to just cry into the palms of my hands. Madison rushed to me hugging me.

“You’re not answering my texts, I was worried! Tell me what’s wrong, please?” The worry in her voice made my sobs harder. No one had ever been close enough for me to refer to as a friend, I couldn’t talk to my mom and I knew I had to talk to someone.

“Madison it’s such a long story, the dreams and then Lee spending the night, the doctor told me I was adopted!” I just sobbed as she slowly pulled away and looked at me.

“Who spend the what!? WHAT!” Madison was in utter disbelief.

“It’s more then that. Madison since I was a child I’ve had a reoccurring nightmare. I’m starting to think it’s not a nightmare. What if I’m haunted by some kind of past or reincarnation?” I looked at her and she had a blank stare. “Forget I said anything.” I got up and went to go to my bed and Madison stopped me.

“I’m sorry Hannah I’m trying to take everything in and I was confused by you saying Lee? I thought you and James had the mate bond? Does this have anything to do with the birthday?” I looked at her, she was asking questions I wasn’t sure if I could answer. “Hannah please just start where your comfortable. I can’t give you any advice if I don’t know what’s going on.” She sat at my vanity and I sat on my bed and started from the beginning telling her everything.

“This is some really heavy stuff Hannah.” I’ve never heard Madison without her bubbly voice, but her tone was serious now. “So I’m going to let you rest so that first thing in the morning we can go to the library. I don’t want to know about Lee right now. I just can’t handle it. I love those stupid pups like they were my brothers. I need to process this all.” She stood up, I had this feeling I had also hurt her.

“I’m sorry Madison.” She paused at the door. For a moment I thought she would say something reassuring but instead she left. I felt guilt and shame. I laid my head on my pillow and cried until I fell asleep.

The next morning I got a text from Madison saying she would get me at 8am so we could have breakfast and go to the library. I wasn’t caring too much about school I had never missed a day and graduation was in a month. I silently got ready when my phone dinged twice. I lifted it to see a message from both boys.

“I miss you.” It read. Were they together? My phone dinged again, this time it was only from James.

“Can I see you tonight?” I thought for a moment and I replied with a yes. I saw Madison pull up and went out to meet her. We stopped for a quick breakfast and Madison was back to her bubbly self.

“After we eat, we can go to the library and look up Henry or the issues around twin alpha babies, what ever you want to do!” Madison gave me a perky smile and I smiled back.

“Thank you for being my friend still.” I said before taking a bite of my breakfast sandwich.

“I told you! We’re sisters now!” She had upped her octave and I felt like she was covering for her true feelings. I didn’t want to question it, I didn’t want her to think less of me. I already thought less of me. Madison licked her fingers clean and opened her phone.

“Oh! Declan says you have a date with James! How fun!” She smiled at me.

“He asked if he could see me tonight. Madison I have to make this up to him. I’m not sure how to feel right now.” I crumpled the wrapper to my sandwich. This guilt was eating me alive.

“Do me a huge favor? Don’t tell him.” Madison put her hand on my leg. “I’ve hurt him so bad, it’s hard to hear you’ve done something to him as well. If he doesn’t know, he can’t hurt again.” Her voice trembled. It hit me that she wasn’t mad at me but guilty as well. She wanted what was best for James and I had also betrayed his heart.

“I promise I will keep it in as long as I can.” I put my head down. I felt like a scolded child.

“Good. Let’s go to the library.” She perked back up and we drove off.