Sua Farfalla

I HATE THIS STUPID METAL PIECES OF CRAP

Jenna's POV:

He didn't answer, but I guess he didn't have to. 

He must agree to the fact that it'll take him years to get out of here, fifteen at least.

A deep silence wrapped around us, both too enthralled by our own minds to interact with the other.

All of a sudden, my mind inevitably went back to the one topic I couldn't handle well, Roger.

I was scared to say the least. 

I knew for sure his threats weren't empty. 

He's stronger, more perverted and enjoys watching me cry and beg. 

He likes the power he has over me.

I've been coping with his abuse for four years already. 

The first two I could handle because I had Austin, but now that he's gone... I'm alone.

Wrong.

I blinked a few times and the truth came crashing towards me like a train. 

Alonzo is here with me, he truly is. 

Maybe he can be me rock now, my cable to earth, to love.

So I decided to tell him the truth.

-

A few minutes later, after I gathered enough courage to speak about my foster uncle, I softly tapped his forehead to bring him back to human land so that we could talk.

He smiled slightly at the gesture we picked up, and put his whole attention on me.

Great. (Note the sarcasm)

"Alonzo", I began shakily, earning a concerned look from him. "Remember that day when I had the, the umm, the pa- panic attack?" I asked quietly.

He's eyes grew wide once he realized I was ready to tell him what had happened, and slowly reached up to me cheek, stroking it delicately.

"I think I'm ready to tell you what that was about". 

I had to tell him, but the position we were in right now wasn't ideal, so I robotically stood up and sat on my chair from the other side of the desk.

Alonzo seemed disappointed by my actions, but later on a look of understanding crossed his eyes, probably after realizing what I was gonna say was serious and should be told that way too.

"May the fifth" I began. "A month after I was adopted, four years ago, I met my foster uncle, Roger". 

By simply speaking his name the hairs on my arms stood up, and my hands started shaking.

He obviously realized because he brought both of his to hold mine as a warm gesture of support. 

Being handcuffed, that's all he could give me.

"He um, took a liking on me from day one... liking uncles shouldn't feel towards their nieces".

I suddenly felt his hold on my hands become tighter. 

He already knows where I'm going with this then...

"I was thirteen back then, and oblivious to the fact that 'family' could hurt me that way. 

It started off with one push, then a slap, then a couple of punches, getting worse and worse over the years".

A tear slipped from my eyes once I recalled how broken I felt the first time he hurt me. 

I remember telling myself he was family, he probably regretted it, and that I should just forgive and forget.

"For the first two years though he couldn't do much. Once Austin found out what was going on, he wouldn't ever leave my side. 

He even slept in my room when Roger stayed over. 

But as soon as Austin left... uncle took the opportunity to let his true monster out to play with me".

I looked up wanting to see his reaction, but was received with a stone cold face, no expressions showing at all. 

So I carried on with my story.

"After a while, he started calling me things like 'toy' or 'my thing', always referring to me as an object to be used, not a person to be cared for. 

I was broken, for a long time I was. 

Too weak to fight back, I was left with my voice as a defense mechanism, always calling out for my 'parents' to help me. 

But once I realized they knew all about the abuse and didn't give a damn... once I understood each time I fought back I gave him more satisfaction...

I just... stopped. I gave up. 

If fighting wasn't an option, what was?".

I was now speaking like there was no life left in me, voice empty of any emotion and eyes hard. 

I'm just truly done with this s**t.

"He's been abusing me physically and mentally for the past four years. 

But that other day..." I began talking, but truly couldn't go on.

To have to say this out loud made ME feel like the guilty one. 

It made me feel dirty, tainted even. 

Like a w***e.

I then heard a weird noise, kind of like something being pushed against the floor. 

I looked up to see Alonzo literally turning the desk's position completely so that his handcuffed side of the desk was right next to my chair.

Without saying a word, he simply sat next to me, shoulders barely touching as he softly spoke.

"Look farfalla, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to", he sighed. "I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to talk about this".

Turning to him, I saw he wasn't looking at me at all, but was actually facing the wall in front of us.

Mimicking his actions, I sat up straight and continued talking.

"I know, but I want to talk about it. I think I really should", I honestly said.

Alonzo nodded in understanding while staying silent so that I could continue.

"The night before the panic attack, Roger came to my house. He-"

You can do this. Just like a band-aid, remember?

One painless pull Jenna, just one.

"He got into my room and started calling me those nicknames he made up. 

He hit me, kicked me, choked me, an- and he um... he then touched himself while looking into my eyes. 

He told me that would be my new job from now on, to ple- please him... sexually".

I heard Alonzo take one huge breath of air while clenching and unclenching his fists.

"I guess when you asked me where those bruises came from, everything from the night before came crashing down on me like a tsunami, hence the panic attack". I confessed.

"Funny thing is", I continued saying with a humorless chuckle. "My lovely parents are leaving for a two month vacation to Aruba in five days, and guess who's gonna babysit me?"

At that statement, Alonzo's head whipped towards me and he determinately said: 

"You have to leave that house, you just have to Jenna, there's no way you can stay after that".

"But where the hell would I go then huh?!?, I'm seventeen Alonzo. 

I have no money and no family, and have zero chances of survival on my own out there in the real world."

"Jenna look at me", he began while trying to reach out to me, only to be stopped by the handcuffs.

"GOD DAMN IT, I HATE THIS STUPID METAL PIECES OF CRAP" he shouted frustratedly.

After taking a few breaths, he turned around towards me and said: "Jenna, what you're living is already the real world. Do you honestly think you'll survive two months on your own with a man like that neanderthal? Do you?"

Sighing deeply, I put my head in my hands, rubbing my cheeks tiredly. 

"I know Alonzo, I know. 

I'm just scared. I really don't want to be alone anymore, and if I leave... then it means I'll have to leave you behind too".

Realization hit me like a mother's chancla. 

I'd be alone, again.

Sighing one more time, I looked at him and said;

"I really hope you could come with me, anywhere but here. We'd just disappear together. 

I truly wish you could get out, Alonzo" I said sadly.

An unsettling silence filled the room. One that was only interrupted once Alonzo spoke again.

"I will" he said in all seriousness, "I'll get out of here"

His eyes held so many emotions. 

His voice spoke every word so meaningfully that for one second, I thought I had made it up.

He wouldn't take his eyes off of me, scrutinizing my every cell. 

He realized the effect he had on me by the way my breath caught on my throat, and a slick smirk made its way to his face, satisfied that he could play with me just like I can play with him.

Suddenly, that weird tingling feeling you get when you haven't moved your foot for a long time started to emerge from my core, expanding itself from the tip of my toes to the hairs in my head.

"And when I do, I'll find you. 

No matter where you've run to, I'll always find you".

'Why is the room suddenly so hot?', I thought to myself as I discreetly rub my thighs together in order to cease some of the tension his thick accent was causing to build up.

He slowly leaned in, leaving only a few millimeters between our hungry lips.

"Then", he whispered ever so slowly and delicately against my lips. "There won't be any handcuffs keeping me from touching you farfalla" he smirked.

-

Could that possibly happen? I mean, he was given quite a long sentence... could he really get out and start over?

But one thing I was sure of: If he were to be released, he'd come for me. 

He meant what he said.

His nose didn't twitch. 

But my heart did.