Bullet To The Heart

Dreams of a Warrior

Dreams Of a Warrior"You'reso beautiful" José hummed, just waking up from a deep slumber, lightstreamed across his caramel skin as he wrapped his arms around his lover'schest and placed a soft kiss in between Elliot's shoulder blades, "pleasedon't get out of bed"

"Thehome will notice I’m gone"

"Comelive with me Ellie, I wouldn't adopt but you are 17, can't you just getout?"

"Notuntil I turn 18"

"Please,just a few more hours, please baby! c'mon you can't leave me here allcold"

"Whenare you sending in your application?" Elliot clasped his hands together.

"I'mwaiting until you're out of high school, we talked about this, we either gotogether or not at all"

"thenlet's not go"

"Ithought you wanted to"

"Ido" Elliot sighed and looked back at José, his black hair was in curlytangles and his naked body was hidden under gray sheets and a white comforter,"I do but..."

"Whatif we don't make it?"

"Honestly,I’d be fine with dying, I mean no one here wants or needs me but what if youdie, or I die and the other is just left alone"

"Iwill never leave you alone Elliot, I love you so much, even if I do die I willalways be by your side, I will hold your hand when you get shots, and I will goto the dentist with you, and you can drag me to Sunday morning farmers markets,and we'll celebrate Christmas with my family, and we'll dress out kids inbumble bee costumes, even if one of us isn't there, we will always be with eachother"

"I'mscared"

Josésat up and sighed, he ran a hand through his mop of dark curls and cracked hisknuckles, He scooted forwards and nuzzled his chin into the crook of Elliot'sneck, his slightly younger lover's, neck.

"Don'tbe" he whispered and reached over to grab the stuffed polar bear he hadwon for Elliot at the street fair, "if I’m gone then just hold onto thisguy at night, I've put my heart and about 30 dollars winning him, just for you,okay baby?"

Elliotsniffled and choked back a sob, it always made him cry thinking about whatcould happen overseas, where him and José were headed in about a year. Joséfrowned and pressed feather soft kisses to his lover's neck and hair, trying tobring him any sense of comfort.

Joséhad an idea and backed away from his boyfriend, who was cradling the stuffedpolar bear in his tan and well-built arms. José unclasped the chain from aroundhis neck and held the silver cross in his hands, it was something he had foundwhen he visited Spain as a young child it was lying next to a pink rose on theside of  a fountain, he picked it up the week before he met Elliot inkindergarten, he had never taken it off, until this day. He looped it aroundElliot's neck and closed the clasp again.

"Thisis a big part of me, it lead me to you, so now you will always have me withyou, because the love I have for you, mean even heaven isn't big enough to holdthe love I have for you"

Ring Ring Ring Ring

Elliotopened his eyes, his hand was wrapped numbly around the silver cross nestled inbetween his pecs and his body was covered in a light film of sweat, hisbreathing was heavy, but he rubbed his eyes and turned his head, looking to hisphone that was ringing.

Heslammed his hand on the phone and groaned. Randy. It read hisname and Elliot sat up, wiping the sweat off his face to answer.

"hello?"Elliot was met with his own raspy and wavering voice.

"Elliotare you okay?"

"Yeah"Elliot sighed.

"Pleasedon't lie to me or yourself Elliot, I can practically hear the panic, what'swrong?"

"You'retoo smart" Elliot shook his head, "just a bad dream"

"AboutJosé?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh,Elliot I’m sorry"

"Mydreams aren't your fault Randy" Elliot snickered, the little country boyalways managed to smile, "I bought my ticket"

"Youdid?"

"Yep,in a little under a week we'll be able to see each other face to face"

"Iam so excited to be honest" Randy blushed on his side of the phone and bitinto his plump lower lip.

"Iam too, I’m happy to get away from work"

"Towork more" Randy scoffed and grinned ear-to-ear.

"Yeahbut you're fun, my office job sucks"

"Doyou have to go to that soon?"

"Yeah,I should get ready"

"ThenI will see you later" Randy cooed.

"Ofcourse, little bird, I’ll text you when I’m off of work"

"ByeTeddy"

Randyhung up and Elliot placed his phone on his bed slowly. He brought a hand up tothe cross and let his fingers linger on the cool metal, it brought him chills.His body began to shake, and he sniffled and ran his free hand through hishair.

"Fuckyou José" he muttered and rolled up into a ball, burying his face in thesheets, "just f**k you and your damn hero complex"

Thetears were quick, painless but the thoughts running through Elliot's head, theywere sharp like daggers being thrown at his heart.

whydidn't I stop him?

Whydidn't I go first?

IfI had told him, not to go he wouldn't have, we could have gotten real jobs hereand lived happily ever after.

Iwant to die.

Ineed to be with him.

Hisphone dinged, and he slapped it into the mattress but curled his fingers aroundit and pulled it to his chest, he looked at it. A message from randy popped up.

Ifyou need to hold on to someone while you sleep here then my bed is plenty big,remember to smile today. ~Birdy xoxo