Fervent Desires

Chapter 13 - Rebuffed

It had been three days since the incident at my condo and I still hadn’t heard from Erica. I had gone by her apartment several times and her room mate had told me she wasn’t there. I even sent Vaughn over to check, he and Cindy still hooked up from time to time; but Erica was nowhere to be found. She hadn’t been to work; Anna told me she was out sick. She was due to return today and I was anxious to see her. I sat nervously in the meeting waiting impatiently for it to end, it had only been thirty minutes but it felt like hours. Anna had come in five minutes earlier and passed me a note informing me that Erica had arrived. It’s needless to say that she was more than a little confused when I had insisted she inform me as soon as Erica came in.

I needed to devise a plan. Earlier I had ordered a dozen roses and they were just arriving when I came out of my meeting. I could overhear the conversation at her desk when I walked by. “Those are beautiful,” I heard one intern say. “Do you know who sent them?” asked another. “There has to be a card,” informed a third. Erica’s eyes met mine and she immediately tossed the flowers into the trash much to the surprise of her coworkers. I hadn’t put a card for fear that someone else might see it. I hurried to my office not wanting my emotions to betray me. I spent the better part of an hour summing-up the courage to speak to Erica face to face.

I found her at her desk, her nose buried in her computer. She looked up when I approached her and my heart sank immediately. She had huge dark circles around her eyes, which made her look like she hadn’t slept in weeks. Her usually soft features looked hard and cold and her lips looked dry and cracked. “How have you been?” I asked; but I didn’t need to. I could tell how she’d been just by looking at her and to know that I was the cause of her pain hurt like hell. Erica didn’t respond, she looked at me with a cold blank stare and I could tell she was trying to keep her emotions in check. “I tried calling,” I tried again. This time her eyes seemed to focus long enough for me to see the anger simmering there.

“What do you want?” she spat angrily.

I looked around, the office was bustling and we were easily within earshot of the other employees. “I think we should have this conversation in my office,” I responded, gesturing to the horde of employees that had suddenly gathered at the water cooler. Erica looked over with weary eyes before she got up and headed for my office. Anna had already gone out to lunch so no one would hear us if things got heated.

“Talk!” she spat angrily as we reached inside the office.

“I’d like to apologize for what happened the other night,” I started slowly. “It was never my intention to hurt you.”

“Look,” she pointed at me angrily. “This is my place of work and I don’t appreciate you sending me gifts in front of my colleagues, you can’t buy my affection.”

“I wasn’t trying to, it’s just that you don’t answer my calls,” I said anxiously.

“I have nothing to say to a liar,” her words were brutal.

“I never lied to you,” I defended. “Noelle and I were never in a relationship, we’re just friends that happen to have fun from time to time”.

“It didn’t sound like that to me,” her eyes narrowed and her hands were folded across her chest. “Besides you never told me you were seeing anyone sexually”.

I sighed. “We basically broke things off when I moved here, she wasn’t too happy about me moving and we had a massive fight”.

Erica still looked suspicious. I couldn’t believe I had made so much progress with her just to lose it all in an instant. I was desperate for her to see how much she meant to me; but, she wasn’t having it. I needed her to forgive me and I was at a loss, I knew I needed to tell her I loved her but I didn’t want to scare her away. “You’re the one I want Erica; you mean the world to me. From the first moment we met I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.” She still didn’t look convinced. “Noelle means nothing to me; you’re the one I want to build a relationship with.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, taking a step closer to me.

“I’m saying I think I’ve fallen for you. Give me another chance,” I stared deep into her eyes.

“And Noelle?” she asked.

“Done, you’re the only one I want,” I took her hands into mine.

“How can I trust you?” I could see her wrestling with her misgivings. 

“I promise you, you can,” I pleaded.

She finally looked me in the eyes and I could tell that she had made her decision. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be with you,” she said. My heart sank, I wanted to beg and plead with her but I couldn’t find the right words. “From now on we’ll only have a professional relationship,” she added. I watched frozen in place as she walked out the door and essentially walked out of my life.