Quantum Leap - Vol. 9 Robyn Hode Takes On The World

C007 You Call That A f*****g Sword? Its A Butter Knife...!!!

"Aaaawwwww... You dirty little bastard... That's really underhanded and do you know what...I'm a girl for chrissake...!!" The girl howled in pain and was now standing in a bizarre manner with her two thighs clutched tightly together. Men or women is the same. They have all the sensor nodes and nerves between their legs and one deliberate kick would leave them... in terrible unspeakable pain...!

I quickly back crawled and stood up confronting her with my stance, ready to pounce on her. Her name was Matilda... In green and that's what it says at the moment.

"A bandit that knows how to rob in daylight and yet claimed to be a girl when kicked in the cat? Meong meong? Feline?" I reasoned with her as I stayed in that wrestler's posture as she tried to step with her thighs clasped together.

"Curse you till damnation little bastard...! That house relates to my grandmother... What do you imply you reside here? There's no one living here except for her...! Ooooo... Wait till I get my hands on you....!"

Suddenly her green NPC name turned red as she started handling her short sword around and intimidate to cause bodily harm in a minute." Eeehhhh... What happens to your name? It has turned red...!"

"It's War Mode dum dum... Why are you in War Mode all the time? You expect to get killed out here?" she hissed as she edged slowly as she brandished her sword above her head.

"Whoa... Whoa... That's your granny? I've been with her for two days now... Wait... How do you turn off War Mode?"

"Just think about it and pronounce 'Peace Mode' and you are done...! How long have you been born? Were you born yesterday or what...?" she sneered at me and expected to gore her short sword at me while I quickly visualised 'Peace Mode' in my senses and the name above me instantaneously turned to green."

"Aw shucks...now I can't have my first PVP. Curse me and my charitable massive mouth."

"So this is fancy pants medieval England fantasy game after all...Why didn't the elder remark about 'Peace and War Mode'? Does she have the purpose to restrain me here for her company? She could have invited me if I wished to and I won't care to keep an almost senile old lady company..."

"Hey...! I'm sorry ok...! I didn't mean to kick you there in your Meong Meong...you happen to stand with me between your body and you are brandishing a fierce-looking sword. Who on earth would one likes to be killed when he was having a little romp in the forest."

"Apology taken...but what the hell are you trying to do with these foxes? Are you into beastility or something?"

"And since when did you turn into a bandit?" I answered her question with another question and she seemed to be taken aback and quietly placed her sword in the scabbard. she then turned to Peace Mode and sat cross-legged on the ground.

"I am always lacking in fund. look at me. in wearing last seasons clothing and I am still using a dull sword that was given by my granny since 2 seasons ago. no one wants to party with me and I am now a lone swordswoman."

"The rest of the swordsmen have at least a rare item on them. The moment I saw your fat coin pouch and your unarmored clothing with a dull sword, I was thinking that you might be a newbie. Little did I expect you to send such a twisted kick to my cunt...yeah that's right. A cunt...not some kitten or meong meong. Uuurrrgghhh.....!!!"

Matilda let out her anger since she was frustrated at being a lone swordswoman with no one to party with her since she was of the lowest unranked adventurer.

"Party with me then...you keep the spoils and you get to hit the last to kill and get experience points."

"Oiii...this is not some fancy pants medieval England fantasy game where you can level up by choosing to distribute your experience points accordingly. We swordsman will get points distributed automatically into strength and dexterity. Attributes into other areas would depend on your secondary or sub tier class."

"Alright, I get it already. Do you want to party with me or not? I'm looking for the normal fox which would have some sly foxes lurking within. Are you in or what?" I picked myself up and brushed my butt off some dried grass and leaves and added Matilda into my party list and waited her to accept.

"Alright...this way..." as she ran off followed by me on my usual pace as she accepted me in the party list. So, wherever she may be, as long as she doesn't disconnect from the party list, she would earn experience points even when she's not with me.

"Here, use my sword and I'd use yours. Don't worry, if I break it I replace it..." as I handed her my sword that I had withdrawn and the sheen was remarkable as she held it in her hands and was staring at it. She passed me hers and her eyes never left my sword at all.

"This sword... It seems to have many blades besides one. The sheen was something extraordinary... This is a dull sword but it seems to be a rework." she said as she swung it in a downward s***h and it left after images.

"Arch... Let's call it Bladeworks. I don't have a proper name for it yet. But yeah, Bladeworks it is..."

"Hmm... Bladeworks eh? It sure is more than a piece of art..." she said as she made a twirling s***h with her twisting body in mid-air and the swoosh of its blade slicing through the air would make one's hair stand on edge...!

"I'm the one who blade washes it and yet someone else got to try it..." I sighed inwardly as I watched the girl named Matilda just took a single hit to bring a normal fox down...! Amazing... Is it her or the blade itself?

"Twaaanggg... Twaaannnggg... Twwaaaannngg...!" That's the sound of her sword when I hit it against the normal fox that I had been chasing a few meters after first confronting it. "Damn...! Not only this is a dull sword... It is FREAKING DULL TOO...!!!" I cried out in my head as I tried to track down one after another while Matilda, on the other hand, was slaying one after another with ease...!

After an hour of grinding and there are no other spoils to drop from the normal foxes and some sly ones, we sat down on the grass patch and she handed me the Bladeworks back and I slipped it back in the scabbard.

"How many times do you require to hit just to slay one with your sword?" I inquired as I was mopping the perspiration off my forehead. "About 5 to 8 strikes..." she responded casually... "NO FREAKING WONDER...! YOUR SWORD CAN'T EVEN SLICE A CUCUMBER...!!!" I cried out at her and handed her sword back.

"Huuuuaaarrrggghhh... Talking about being born yesterday... She might even be born the week after this...!!" I moaned inwardly as I lay flat on the grassy patch pondering my fate of meeting such a noobie girl who had been exploiting her only piece of equipment for the past 2 seasons...

"Let's go back to granny's..." she proposed as she pulled herself up and walked solemnly towards the elder's house who appears to be her granny...!

=*=

"Oh hello, child. It seems you had already met the acquaintance of my granddaughter, Matilda. She is the same age as you, 14, I guess, and she wanted to be an adventurer to find her true self."

"Granny...he kicked me in my cunt just now...!"

"Fuck...! With that kind of opening statement, people can easily get misunderstood."

"He kicked me when he was in the middle of me...!"

"Errr...elder...let me get this story straight...!" I exasperatedly wanted to explain the actual happenings when I saw her reaching for the ladle that can turn someone into a monkey with a single hit...!

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER...?! YOU KICK HER CUNT WHEN YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF HER...?!? ARE YOU TRYING TO FORNICATE HER...?!?" She inched nearer and was about to raise the infamous ladle over her head when Matilda interrupted and said, " Look, granny, he gave me his pennies, 18 foxtails and 6 furs...and we did a party earlier together."

"What do you mean, cutie pie? He helped you at a party? Didn't he try to get into your pants just now after he kicked your cunt? And then he gave you his p***s? the elder softened down ever so slightly but still held the monkey ladle above her head and got ready to launch her attack in case I move an inch.

"Yeah, Granny he did kick me in the cunt when I was standing over him. I thought he was a half dumb ass and was laughing and rolling on the grass like a madcap until I saw his bulge and wanted to rob him."

"Cutie pie, you saw his bulge and yet you wanted to rob him? This conversation is getting me giddy...! First, he kicked you in the cunt after you saw his bulge and then he gave you his p***s and you accept it?" the elder threw the ladle on the cauldron and shook her head at how perverted teenagers can be at this era and age. Hahahahahaha.

"*Ahem* Bulge as in my coin pouch, elder. I did kick her in the meong meong because she wanted to rob me and thrash me with her dull sword...! It's an instantaneous reflex action and it's pennies not p*****s, elder. it's the spoils that I gave it to her. By God... it is all a big misunderstanding."

"Did you rob again? Do you want to have a red name all your life? Where did you get so much money and why are you suddenly so generous to give all the spoils to her? You barely knew her."

"I did not rob anyone elder. I sold something in the trading district. And the red name was actually a War Mode, you didn't relate to me properly until I met your granddaughter and she told me about it."

"She changed her name from green to red, from Peace to War Mode. I gave her the spoils so that she can go and get herself another piece of sword or another piece of armour. It had been 2 seasons and she had been using the same weapon and clothes."

"Hmm...dinner won't be ready in 30 mins. Cutie Pie, can you give granny the foxtails so I can cook and we can have dinner together? Child, I have added some of the vegetables you had bought and the garnishing you had picked today for the gruel."

"Thanks, elder, we really appreciate it."

"Here's the foxtails granny...go whip out a good dinner for us. We are starving...!"

"Hahahahah...anything for my cutie pie... go on then, do your own thing. Granny will continue to simmer this gruel first and will call the both of you to eat later."

"I didn't know she was married before and she has a granddaughter like you. What happened to your parents?" I asked as we walked to the stream and started to throw stones in them and get thrown back by the angry fishes...!

My father was Robert Fitzwater and my mother was Matilda. I took her name because I never got the chance to know her as she died giving birth to me. Our family are nobleman but due to the darn Sheriff and The Church, our lands were taken by them and we were left penniless. My granny was the one who took care of me back in Yorkshire."

"When we were finally being forced out of our home, Father fought with the Sheriff and their men but he soon succumbed to his injuries and he was buried near our home by some of his friends. I was only 8 or 9 at that time. So granny takes me in and she swore to me to avenge my father's death and instructed me to learn sportsmanship as much as I could."