Rose Cut

sHE's brOKen

" Alll....most...done. "I whispered while putting the finishing touches on my Birthday outfit. Only one day left til my Birthday and I was just a tad bit excited. I checked the time to see it was well into the afternoon and I needed to go get some more fabric for the dress I made for Priscilla.

It was long sleeved with black polka dots over white. I wanted the bottom to be made like a tu tu, so I needed tool. I cleared my studio and grabbed my purse as I headed out. I went down on the elevator and moved swiftly to my car. Careful not to look for a certain car on my way.

I got in and buckled up before pulling out of the garage. Once on the highway, I let out a breath. I shook my head at my silliness. I've been avoiding Jamir since the elevator. I was tired of the back and forth with him.

Every time I feel something he kills the thought of it. His family was so welcoming and sweet, and it was hard not to want to be apart of that. I can't stop feeling drawn to him. The best bet is not to see him at all. Once I finished with the dress, I would be finished with him.

I smoothly glided off the exit and rode down toward the fabric store. I took the quicker route past the shop and noticed Ms. Sharon's car parked outside. I chewed on the inside of my cheek debating on stopping. I didn't like how things were with Sharon now.

Ever since the incident with Dorian we have been at odds. She wont even let me help with her books anymore.I sighed making a U turn and parking behind her car.

I could only assume she was still doing her books this late into the day. I got out and entered the shop. The bell chimed, causing Charity to look up and smile. "Afternoon Charity" I spoke returning her smile and approaching her desk. Charity grabbed her bag and met me around her desk. " Boy am I glad to see you. I have to go and I haven't been much help with the numbers. " she said stopping in front of me.

" Could you please stay with her and lock up? " she asked already passing the keys and walking towards the door. " You know I don't mind but Sharon might. " I said turning to catch her arm. Charity paused and faced me. She pushed my hand back and gave me a weak smile.

" She misses you. " she paused and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. " and whatever y'all got going on doesn't have nothing to do with me. But i'm sure it can be fixed with a few simple words. " she said with a soft smile before turning to leave. " Now I got to go. Bye Rose. " Charity said over her shoulder going out of the door.

I half halfheartedly waved and turned to head towards the back. I stopped to help right? I questioned myself as I straightened my spine and held my head high, approaching her office. I walked in and gently tapped on the doorway. She didn't raise her head.

" Ms. Sharon. " I spoke up. She froze and met my eyes. Ms. Sharon just watched me before motioning me forward. " Hello Rosalina. " she said returning to her work as I sat in the same chair from our last " meeting ". She scoffed but I ignored it. The silence went on for several minutes before I stood up to leave.

Sharon looked at me surprised. "Look Sharon. I don't know what's changed but, you gotta believe me when I say I had nothing to do with what Dorian said. " I piped up. Sharon stood and went to the door.

I followed her tired of being kicked out of her office. She closed the door and locked it confusing me. She then turned to me with a smile before grabbing my hands and taking be back to the desk. This time occupying the seat Dorian once took.

" Look at you. " she spoke caressing my face. " I'm glad to hear that. " She said, dropping her hands. " But I don't like you being with him and I stress this Rosalina. " she snapped. I nodded but didn't speak. It seemed she had something to say.

" I don't know why the nice girls always end up with a bad guy. " she said to me. " But he's not all bad. " I explained leaning in and placing my hand on top of hers. I smiled softly. " He makes me happy and I haven't had much happiness. " I said while she rolled her eyes.

" For now." she scoffed. " I told your mom the same thing. " she stressed but, she had my full attention. " I said Lupita. That man will be the death of you. " she continued shaking her head but, all I heard was my mother's name.

" You knew my mother? " I questioned her. I was sure I never said her name to Sharon. I searched her eyes but, she looked away ashamed. "I did. " she said softly, looking back at me. So much Anger took me as I snatched my things. Ms. Sharon jumped but, tried to stop me.

"All this time you knew who I was." I snapped unlocking the door. " You knew her name, and said nothing until now. " I spoke with so much venom as she trailed my steps.

We were now up front and I, just a few steps from the door. "Wait Rose! WAIT! " she shouted after me. Seeing me now with my hand on the door.

" WHY! " I shouted back with tears streaming now. " You have been lying this ENTIRE time. " I yelled as she stood there. "Why should I even want to know these things. SHE LEFT ME! " I finished feeling defeated.

I've been running from my past for so long. My head was spinning and I felt trapped by it. Ms. Sharon walked towards me slowly. "I knew your father. " she whispered once she was right in front of me. My eyes locked with hers as I wiped my face. " Tell me. " I croaked. She nodded and held her hand out for the keys.

I gave them over and stepped away from the door as she went to lock up. We went back into her office and sat down. I was weary but attentive as I waited for her to speak.

" I had a daughter. " she began. I gasped, I was sure she didn't have children. I gestured for her to continue and she did. "Her name was Elaysia Jacobs. " she stated pausing. I nodded . "Okay. That's my middle name what else? " I questioned wanting her to continue.

She shook her head at me not getting something but continued none the less. " She and Lupita were best friends. Your mother grew up here, so I wasn't surprised when you showed up." she smiled and I smiled back. "Lupita was beautiful as you well know and soon married a man named Fameion Quartz. " I smiled at the mention of my father. "They were good people and introduced my daughter to her husband La'Vonte JAY-COBS." She stressed before pausing again.

" So my parents and your daughter were close? " I asked but Sharon rolled her eyes. "Your missing the point but, yes they were close."

" Your father and Vonte were in a situation. You see they were selling drugs. " She said before I interrupted. " My father was a chef. "

" No baby, your father sold drugs and he was good at it. Him and LaVonte had a good thing going on with LaVonte being in the military. " she corrected me. "Yes he did cook, and he even owned a restaurant but, that was the front."

"My daughter was married to a drug dealer and so was your mother. " she told me, while I looked away to think. "So that's how she got on drugs. " I whispered.

" Oh heavens no. " she rushed out reaching for my hand. "Your mother was a strong women. " she said staring in my eyes. "Her weakness was your father and his was you. " she said to me.

" Your mom and my daughter worked in the restaurant. Elaysia and Vonte had a Son and I'd watch you both while they did what they do. " she said. My face lit up. "You knew me? I had a friend? What's his name?" I rushed out question after question.

Sharon laughed, just as happy as me. "His name was Jamir Jacobs. " she said with a smirk. I stopped smiling. " Jamir? Your his grandmother? " I questioned. How could this be. I don't remember him but, these feelings. This feeling of knowing him. Wanting to be with him. Is it because we are family?

" Yes I am. " she stated proudly. " Although m, I didn't approve of the life style your father and Vonte lived. I did see they loved my daughters. " she smiled at me. " Yes, I consider Lupita a daughter. " she answered my unspoken question, seeing the look on my face.

" One day Vonte and Fameion left to escort a shipment personally but, they never came back. " she said somberly. "Your mother grew distraught and I was watching you and Jamir more often. Elaysia tried to keep her together but, your mother wouldn't listen. " she paused to look at me and sighed.

" She met someone and he turned her to drugs. " she said as I stood and started pacing. "His name was Andre but, around here we call him "Knox". she went on. " He wanted the territory and he wanted your mom.

Knox was obsessed with her so he kept her doped up and I kept you safe. " She said walking over to me. I stopped pacing. This was crazy. How could all these things be true and I know nothing about it. I trust Ms. Sharon but, this was a bit far fetched and My father was in my life. " What happened to my dad?" I questioned trying to catch her in a lie.

" He was captured and tortured." she answered me. "There was no shipment, it was a set up by Knox. "

" Stop calling him that. " I interrupted. " His name is Andre." I huffed out as I went to sit down and process everything. Sharon nodded but went on. "Andre caught your father and Vonte and kept them away. Getting as much information as he could about their operation so he could take over. Then he would kill them. " she stated.

My head reeled. What kind of bullshit is this l. " That still doesn't explain why my father has been in my life. He never said anything about this drug s**t! " I snapped. "He was a kind honest man. A chef. He would have told me Sharon. " I said looking at her. " I know he would."

"I Know baby but there's more." she said as she came to sit on the desk and rub my shoulder.

"You see your Father and My son in law never told him about you and Jamir. They escaped with some injuries but they came back for you. " she said as I relaxed a little.

" Your father, later died from those injuries and My daughter gave her life to get you away with your parents. " she said seriously as I dropped my gaze. " No sweetie its okay. Jamir was safe with his father. Even if he doesn't know me. " she said sadly. I reached over and hugged her. " Thank you. " I whispered.

" Oh you don't have to thank me. " she said releasing me. "Just stay away from that boy . " she stressed. " It's something about him that I can't put my finger on but, its not good." she said to me as I nodded but, gathered my things. It was now 9 pm and I had to hurry if I wanted to get the tool.

Ms. Sharon locked everything up and I help her with the gates. "I'll see you Monday. " I called out walking over to my car.

" Happy Birthday Rose! " she shouted back getting into her car as well. I had so many thoughts coursing through my mind. I was on auto pilot all the way to the store and home. I desperately wanted to clear my head. I jumped right into completing the dress for my little friend.

I measured out the tool and immediately fell into my regular groove. Ms. Sharon gave me a lot to process. How could my parents keep such a secret from me. I was furious and not relieved at all. They left me in a situation I had no idea of. Maybe, had I knew about their double life I could have protected myself from Dre. I let out a breathe of frustration.

These thoughts were not helping me to focus but, I couldn't drop it. My father was very important to me, and to find out he lied to me my entire life, was hurtful. Yes, I hated my mother for what she did to me but, I couldn't help feeling sorry for what she had to go through.

Dre broke her and that allowed him to get to me. I'm tired of being scared and looking over my shoulder. My past was cutting me into pieces and I was now putting them back together. I can't allow Dre to break me too. I took a step back to admire my work and was quite proud it came out wonderful.

Feeling a little drained from the day I decided I needed to soak off some stress. I quickly undressed and ran myself a hot bath. I dropped a lavender bath bomb in and tried to relax my nerves. Today wasn't all bad. I finished both designs and I learned some of my past.

So apparently i'm from Detroit and I knew Ms. Sharon and Jamir too. I sunk in a little deeper in the water on that note. Jamir was always on my mind, even when I wish he wasn't. For me to feel this way, I knew it had to be something.

So were not exactly family but, we were close once, and I feel as though we've been avoiding that closeness. Some parts of your past you can't shake so we might as well embrace it. There's so many things I wanted to ask but, i'm not sure if he even knows what I know.

If Jamir knew me since we were little, i'm sure he would have mention it by now. He seems to trust me even though he can be a d**k sometimes. And I always catch him watching me on the low.

I thought about it before getting out the tub. I quickly dried off and put on a wife beater and some small shorts. I slid on my sides and quickly snatched the garment bag Priscilla's dress was in, before I lost my moxy.

I quietly left my loft and rounded the corner towards Jamir's place. It was about a quarter til eleven but, something told me he was up. I knocked quickly and waited. ShaMilla answered the door. She stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

" Well hello Leena. " she purred stretching out the nickname. "Heard your Birthday is Tomorrow. Happy Born Day. " she continued as I bounced nervously from foot to foot.

" Thanks. Uhm is Jamir Home." I asked as she tilted her head. "He is. " She answered cautiously while crossing her arms. "What you can't talk to me?" she questioned as I rushed to explain. "No No, It's just late and I didn't want to hold you up. " I explained as she waited.

Milla got quiet for a moment watching me. "What's in the bag then? " she asked raising her eyebrow. I quickly unzipped the bag, just enough for her to see. "Little mama doesn't likes dresses but, I'll give it to her. " said Milla after taking the bag before I could protest.

" Oh but, I wanted to give it to him. " I spoke slightly irritated. "To her you mean. Right?" she teased smirking as I blushed. "Yes of course. You know with us sharing Birthdays and all. " I rambled on. "So you wore those shorts for her too? " she giggled out.

I was getting pissed off at her joking. Don't get me wrong. ShaMilla was cool and all but, I would still smack a b***h. Even if her and Jamir was close. "Well, I see you got it from here." I said turning to leave.

" Shit." snapped, ShaMilla under her breath before quickly catching up to me. "Sheesh, y'all are so alike its ridiculous. Can 't never take a joke. " she mumbled, making me stop. "Who?" I questioned not letting my attitude chill. "You and Mir." she answered checking the bag again.

" Listen, its none of my business but somethings gotta give l. " said Milla. She leaned against the wall looking bored again. "Go on? " I commanded.

"Well. First things first you got a nigga. " She began. I rolled my eyes preparing to snap. "Hold up now you asked, let me finish." She snapped staring hard at me. I guess she has a temper too. I let her continue.

" Now. " she paused to see if I was gonna interrupt. "I don't know if you know this but, your nigga ain't s**t and I can't help but, think your starting to realize this, or else you wouldn't be prancing over here in ya sexy little shorts and tank top with no bra. " she spoke getting to her point m. I blushed but, crossed my arms to cover my breasts. ShaMilla smirked but otherwise didn't mention it.

" It's not like that. I was just.." I said, before she interrupted. "I know, I know. You were bringing the dress. You should have saw your face when I opened the door. " said ShaMilla shutting me down. " But like I said not my business. " she brushed past me back to the door.

" Listen. If you want him, just go for it already. " she said over her shoulder pausing at the door. "He likes you but, you never know for how long. It's getting hard to stomach. " Milla closed the door behind herself as I retreated back to my loft.

Once inside, I went straight to my room and climbed in my bed, settling under the covers. I decided to call Dorian since we didn't talk much today. Which was strange for him. Before I could get angry I checked the time to see I was now 23 and my phone began to ring immediately. I picked up without checking the name.

" I knew you didn't forget. " I told him sweetly.

" How could I! HAPPY BIRTHDAY b***h!!!!!!! " screamed Dorinda, making me pull the phone from my ear. I laughed it off and thanked her.

"You must be working. " I said hearing her background blasting music. " unfortunately I am but, we will be celebrating soon. I know your man got you busy tomorrow. " she piped up, making me giggle as I got comfortable in my bed.

"He does? " I questioned trying to get details. " Wait you don't know what y'all doing yet? " she asked, sounding confused. "I didn't ask and I haven't spoken to him today. I think he's trying to surprise me. " I answered her, sitting up and getting out of bed to pace.

"But you don't like surprises." stated Dorinda. I sighed. "I know but, at least he's doing something. Have you seen him up to something, like when your with Lo? " I questioned her. She got real quiet so I thought she hung up. " RINDA! " I shouted into the phone, seeing the call still going. " I can hear the music. "

" uhm, I haven't seen them but look. I gotta get back to work. " she rushed me off and hung up. I shook my head and climbed back in. I thought we squashed everything but, I guess she still had some issues.

I laid back and looked at my ceiling. I just hope I can enjoy my birthday for once. My phone ranged again and this time I check my caller Id . Mir named popped up and my phone slipped out my hand.

" s**t! " I cursed jumping out of my massive bed. I scrambled on the floor and snatched it from under my bed where it fell. I hurried and answered before it stopped ringing.

" H...ELLLO " I practically gasped into the phone. I smacked my forehead and got it together. "Hey. " I said more calmly. I heard him chuckle before he answered. I shivered a little hearing his velvety voice over the phone.

" Happy Birthday Peaches. " he said smoothly. I blushed remembering him telling me I taste like peaches. "Thank you" I giggled out. "No problem. What you doing for it? " He asked me as I got more comfortable on the floor.

" I don't really know. " I told him cursing myself for not having nothing to talk about. I briefly thought about telling him about Ms. Sharon but, I changed my mind. That's nothing to bring up on the phone. " Damn. A girl like you should be ripping through Detroit. " he spoke up making me laugh. " A girl like me is always in the house. " I told him.

" Ain't nothing wrong with that, we gotta get you out though." he said with a smile in his voice. "I wouldn't mind at all. " there was a pause before he spoke again. I had a feeling this conversation was almost over. It's the longest we've talked and I didn't want it to end.

" I heard you came to see me earlier? " he stated but, more like asked. I blushed. " Yeah I did." I answered him. "I'm sorry though, I didn't know she hated dresses. "

"It's all good. Its the thought that counts and I know she would love anything from you." Jamir responded smoothly. "Listen, were doing a small party for her tomorrow around 5. Your welcome to come? " I paused a little. I wanted so badly to say yes but, I didn't know what Dorian had planned.

" Thanks but, I'm supposed to do something with my boyfriend." I told him and it got quiet on his end. " I mean I would love to come but, he's surprising me and I'm not sure.." I rambled before he stopped me.

" It's okay Rose. " he chuckled dryly. " I understand but, do you think you could do her hair before? She's been bugging me non stop to ask you. "

" Of course, I'm her hair stylist right? " I said trying to lighten the tension. " Right. Thanks. " he said as I got into my bed. There was another pause and I regretted dropping the " b " word. " Good night Rosalina, and Happy Birthday. " he said clearly ending our conversation. " Good night Jamir. " I said before hanging up and tossing my phone.

I rolled over frustrated and forced myself to sleep. After awhile I was out like a light. I slept so well I didn't even notice my phone didn't ring again.