Weighted Mask
1005 Words
Kaitlyn
I’m getting better at lying.
That’s what scares me the most.
Each day at Crescent Hill sharpens me like a blade. I’ve memorized the routine—rise at dawn, train until I can’t breathe, eat like a starving animal, pretend I’m someone I’m not, and fall asleep pretending again. The lines between Kaitlyn and Kai blur more with each passing hour.
It’s dangerous. It’s exhausting.
But it’s working.
So far.
No one’s figured me out. Not the instructors. Not the other trainees.
Not even Jax.
Though he watches me. A lot.
I catch his eyes on me during drills, during meals, during those quiet moments in the dorm when neither of us is talking but everything feels louder than it should.
And sometimes, I watch him back.
There’s something in the way he moves that commands attention. But it’s more than just power—it’s control. Jax never lets his emotions slip. He carries the weight of leadership like he was born for it, but sometimes… I catch a crack.
Like when he stares too long at the moon.
Or when he thinks I’m not looking, and his shoulders sag under whatever burden he carries.
I wish I could ask him about it.
But Kai doesn’t ask those kinds of questions.
Kai keeps his head down and survives.
and that's what I'm going to do.
~~~~
By the end of the week, Captain Renna announces an overnight survival test.
Because clearly, we haven’t suffered enough.
“All trainees will be divided into quads,” she barks, pacing like a wolf ready to pounce. “You’ll be dropped into separate areas of the mountain. Your only goal is to return. No tools. No food. No help.”
The courtyard falls into a murmur of uneasy chatter.
“Any questions?” Renna growls.
No one dares raise a hand. I eye her suspiciously.
For some reason I think she hates us. I don't know but I keep getting the feeling.
I feel Jax step up beside me.
“We’re grouped together,” he says. “You, me, Reed, and someone named Kael.”
I blink. “Reed?” My voice is tight. The guy who almost sniffed out my lie at dinner?
Great.
Just great.
“Relax,” Jax says, reading me again like an open book. “He talks a lot, but he doesn’t bite.”
“I don’t trust people who smile too much.”
He chuckles under his breath. “And yet, you trust me?”
I freeze.
“I—didn’t say that.”
“But you didn’t deny it either.”
The look he gives me is sharp. Teasing. Curious. It sends a flush up my neck that I hope he doesn’t notice.
Thank the Goddess Reed shows up just in time, grinning like he just discovered a secret.
“Survival test! Bet you two wish you had me around last time,” he smirks. “I’m basically nature’s gift to wolves.”
“You nearly passed out during the last rain drill,” Jax deadpans.
“Details.”
Kael joins last—quiet, observant, tall. He doesn’t say much beyond a polite nod.
At least one of us might make it out of this alive.
I'm not sure I'll be the one.
~~~~
We’re dropped by helicopter into the northern ridge. Snow dusts the ground, and wind howls between the trees. Our landing zone is bleak—no shelter, no sign of a trail, just endless wilderness.
Reed groans. “Tell me there’s a hot spring or something.”
“Only if you want hypothermia,” Kael mutters.
We hike for hours, following a creek that cuts through the woods. Jax takes the lead, checking the map embedded in his memory, his instincts razor-sharp. Reed cracks jokes to stay warm. Kael scouts the edges.
I stay in the middle, pretending like I’m not watching every move Jax makes.
When the sun dips behind the mountains, we find a small cave hidden behind a rock ridge.
“This’ll do,” Jax says.
We start a fire from dry moss and flint. I’m freezing, my fingers numb and stiff, but I pretend I’m fine. We eat what little we managed to forage—roots, dried herbs, nothing satisfying.
Eventually, the others doze off, their backs to the cave wall.
I lie awake, again.
Until I hear Jax shift.
“You’re not sleeping either?”
I jump. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.”
He moves closer, sitting next to me, watching the flames. His shoulder brushes mine.
and I inhale empty air almost choking in the process.
Silence stretches.
“You’re always so quiet.” he says.
“Maybe I just don’t have much to say.”
“I don’t believe that.”
I glance at him. “Why not?”
his face illuminated by the yellow light of the slowly dying fire.
his eyes are brighter I'm losing myself in them by the second and he's none even looking at me.
“Because you watch everything. People who watch that closely always have thoughts they’re not saying.”
The fire crackles between us.
“What about you?” I ask. “You watch, too.” I say defensive.
“Yeah. But I don’t lie to myself about why I do it.”
He’s looking right at me now.
I can’t breathe.
My wolf is going crazy.
I want to kiss him so badly it hurts.
Can I say that?
Instead, I say, “What do you see when you look at me?”
His eyes darken. “I don’t know. And that’s what drives me crazy.”
I look away.
If I stay here another second, I’ll break.
“I’m going to check the perimeter,” I say, standing abruptly.
“You shouldn’t go alone.”
“I’ll be fine.”my chest feels so heavy and tight. maybe it's the bindings.
He watches me go. I feel his gaze long after I disappear into the trees.
- Writer
