Broken Hearts Club

Damsel of Starlight

I find myself standing in front of the small veranda outside of their main entrance . I tiptoe stepping ahead of his door. I regret my decisions instantly. 'Why am I doing this?' I start questioning myself. Well, after the argument with mom I kinda declared I am better off alone. But I know, I am not. Because I can emphasize what's gonna happen if I go to the mall all by myself. I will start feeling dizzy at first. Then later my head will take over my body and soon my face will be hugging the floor as I will be absolutely unconscious. Which is why you may ask... because I have agoraphobia. Yes, a special kind of phobia which makes my nerves crazy when I am surrounded by unknown people. According to Google let me state, ''Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed. '' This phobia attacked me mostly after I came here . I haven't been able to connect with people here that much, which is a paramount reason why I am suffering through this.

With trembling hands I took the sheer confidence to push the bell button. A taste of disgust spread all over my mouth. I don't like my neighbor, at all. Our first impression was the worst I have ever encountered in my miserable life. I listen to footsteps approaching hurriedly towards the door. When it stops I could assume he was checking me from the hole. I give an evil grin feeling it's him. He opens it unbolting immediately. '' Well, Well. Who's here to finally meet me? '' My neighbor is a total jackass if I may add. Even though he's got total good looks, not denying that. I would still admit he's the most disgusting person I have ever met. I give a tight-lipped smile brainstorming a good excuse for myself. I sign gaining the ability to say nicely, '' I need a help. '' 'For You' two words I didn't conclude. He wasn't wearing a T-shirt, I never saw him wearing one since the day I have moved here, not once. He crosses his arms which gains my attention to his defined strong arm muscles in spite of the tattoos covered all over his left hand. I have seen his tattoos before. Those kind of things never caught my interest. Tattoo guys were never my favorites. But still surprisingly I liked one out of all in his inked biseps. The one which makes me curious to know the story behind it. A curiosity deepening my thoughts. The tattoo is very detailed. It's a picture of a rose on fire. I wonder what it means to him.

I immediately remove my gaze before he notices. I clear my throat, ''I want you to come to the mall with me.'' I realize I could have said it like a normal person. For example: Hey Zain. Would you like to hangout with me at that mall? But I am glad I don't say that. Because he doesn't deserve that niceness in my tone. When the phrase escapes my lips he glares at me intently with his piercing ocean blue eyes making an entry into my charcoal grey ones. My stomach had this somersault which may I point out is unprecedented. I couldn't recognize this penetrating abnormal feeling. He leans on the wall still his arm crossed, '' You know you could have just told me straightforward if you wanted to go out on a date with me. '' There goes his narcissistic vibe again. I hate hate hate that guy. I roll my eyes replying, '' Come on dude! I am not asking you out. '' He laughs mockingly, '' Yeah sure. '' Irritation was all over my face. I sigh once again but this time I say it with a begging voice, '' Look.. I really need someone. You know.. '' My words break. I couldn't complete my sentence . I am not comfortable talking about my illness. People have been making it as a joke in my entire life. My old town people called me a freak because I am scared of crowds. I mean, what's wrong with that? They thought it wasn't normal. I tried adjusting myself but every time I fail. I clear my thoughts breathing slowly yet fastly. He understood the sadness which is why he agrees insanely standing straight. ''Um.. It's okay I'll go with you.'' He responds in a decent voice. It was making me feel like he's doing a favor for me, which is slightly true. But he removes the awkwardness in the air proving that jolly person he is. '' I know I am hot. So, obviously you wanna go out with me. I get it. '' He pats his own shoulders making me giggle that second. He smiles watching me, comprehending his trick worked. '' I'll get ready in a bit. '' I shook my head as he left closing the door. I was about to lean on the wall but suddenly he opens the door once again as I jumped in horror. He peaks his head through the door's arc like a little kid saying, '' I forget to ask. '' I rest a confused face. He continues, ''Do you wanna wait inside? '' l nod no as he leaves in a rush slamming the door behind him.

Few minutes later

I was scrolling through my i********: and without warning the door bangs open. I turn around to see him wearing a leather Jacket with a plain white shirt inside. He was wearing blue jeans that matched my overalls. I stare at him dumbfounded in that spur of moment. He never looked this fine. ''Are you done checking me out? '' He smirks as he grabbed my attention. '' Um.. '' I forgot what I was about to say. '' I never saw you being so well dressed. '' I reply honestly. He checks his clothes wondering if I was being sarcastic or not and for the first time I wasn't . '' Well, the first time you met me was in the bathroom and it's not a place to wear good clothes. '' He slaps the words on my face. I regret complimenting him. He draws his head closer to mine as I stood-still, '' Sorry to disappoint you angel. '' I shove him back answering, ''That's not my name.'' I start walking outside as he follows me. '' I thought it was Angeline. '' I turn around to see him giving me a pouty face. Ugh I hate him. '' Evangeline! '' I remind. I continue walking ahead as he passed me blocking my way. '' What's wrong with Angel? '' He was teasing me and it was working. '' I don't like being called Angel. '' '' Why? '' '' Angel is a name which reminds me to be cute which I am not. I don't like cuteness unless it's related to babies or pets. '' '' You are cute to me. '' My eyes bulged in a trice. What did he just say? I can't believe the nerves of this guy. I ignore the sentence completely like I just erased it from my mind. '' Are we taking your car or the bus? '' I knew he had a red mustang, which is one of the main strong reason I took this decision . No local bus that is no stare from local people.

We walk towards his car and suddenly he stops in front of the passenger seat door. I give him a 'What-are-you-doing-look?' He raises his finger with a grin as opened the door for me like a gentleman. I ended up giving a 'I-did-not-know-you-were-doing-that-but-thank-you' smile. He circles the car as he sat in the driver's seat. I buckle my seat belts up as he paused the moment looking at me. What in the freak is he doing? I squinted my eyes backing my body a little being scared by his weird behavior. '' What are hell are you trying to do?'' I question his strange character. He projects his closer not answering me. I started to panic which was shown by how insanely my body was vibrating. When he distinguished he bursts into laugh like it was a prank. His personality scares me sometimes. '' Sorry! '' He says as he puts the keys inside. '' I can't believe you fell for that. '' He said turning around the car. I whisper angrily looking the other way, '' You wish. ''

Meanwhile, we are in the mall and I am searching for my perfect first day of public school dress. I made him follow me into twenty shops so far. It was astonishing since he did not complain once. I think mainly because he's loving the stares from the ladies or maybe he's just trying to be nice to me. I don't trust the second one. At the twenty secondth shop my vision got stuck into this particular outfit. I walked towards it leaving Zain alone standing at the counter scrolling his phone. My head was upwards as it was appreciating the design. The mannequin was wearing a 90s vintage denim skirt and over it, it had a retro black T-shirt quoting, ' Punk kid next door.' and that moment I assumed it was made for me. I am not trying to portray this overdramatically, but this outfit matches my soul.

I feel Zain standing behind me as he observed my mouth was open for at least 5minutes gaping the outfit. '' You know if you like it that much you could just buy it. '' I grasp listening to his brilliant answer as my hands tries to inspect the price card. The moment I found I lift myself up to look at it. '' What the... '' I don't finish. It was $63.06. Say what? Well, I shouldn't have to come to pick a outfit I can't even afford. I know if mom was here she would have paid for it at a stroke. But, because of her stupid punishments I am stuck here with my stupid neighbor not even being able to pay for something. Zain examined my emotions. '' How much do you have? '' He shoves his phone back into his pockets as I stood in my normal position. I was too ashamed to even answer. '' I have like.... 30 something. '' I reply through gritted teeth. My head tilted a bit to look for his opposite reaction, which was nothing. I was disappointed. '' Okay. '' That was all he said with a straight face. But it seemed to me he was thinking about something. He was observing the dress as I become more and more restless. '' You know what? let's just leave. '' I say as I try to pull him by his arm but he shoves my hand away. I stare at him, '' What? '' He puts his thoughts away and answers like a genuine person. '' Let me buy it for you. '' '' No way. '' My reflex stimulation yelled gaining people's eyes on me. I forgot I was in a public place. I try to ignore people as I explain,'' Its okay. You don't have to. It's not like I don't have anything else to wear. '' I pull him out of the store before he changes my mind. I was walking slowly thinking, 'What if when I come back the dress isn't there anymore.'' The mere thought makes me sad in seconds. '' Thanks Zain for at least thinking about that. I mean.... '' I glance back to look at him but he's not there. He never followed me outside. I head inside the store rushing. I stopped as I watched him pay using his card. '' You don't have to thank me. Pay me later, okay? '' He smiles and for the first I liked him a bit. The sales women hands me the bag probably thinking he's someone close to me. I could see angry faces from the ladies who were gawking at him few minutes ago. We walk out of the store together this time as I peep inside the bag saying, '' I owe you...'' I finish, '' a lot.'' He laughs replying, '' It's okay there's lots of ways for you to pay me back.'' He raises his eyebrows at me again with his dirty thoughts as I paused walking. He heeded my angry remark as he returned to me retracing his steps. '' What? '' He asks bemused. '' This is what you do.'' I begin. '' This is what you do every time I think you are a nice person and then you start acting like a jerk.'' He shrugs his shoulders, '' That's just how I am. '' I felt guilty releasing that. I mean, he is right. That's just his personality. Why would he ever change for me? '' But... '' He acquires my scrutiny. '' But if it bothers you that much I will try to to stop behaving like a cocky person in front of you. '' He says it naturally but believing his honesty I snort. He got fazed out of my reaction. '' What's wrong? '' I obtain my normal position loosing my laugh. '' Nothing. '' I reply with a smile as I started walking forward.