He’s a Thug, but He’s My Thug

Chapter 12: Momma's Little Secret

A few weeks pass and Caine and I are still going strong. I guess you could say we was going steady but I wasn't really sure. Caine would kiss me and be all up on me in school and at home and on some occasions we would go out but never has he once claimed me as or even asked me to be his girlfriend. I guess he was trying to take things slow but I was ready to be in a relationship with him. I guess he's worth the wait though. If he wanted to take things slow who am I to rush him? If I really liked him I wouldn't be forcing him to do anything. Then again if he really liked me he would stop playing with my head and make me his one and only. I guess only time will tell on this "relationship" or whatever the hell this is.

One day I was sitting at Caine's house. Once again his parents were away on business so I decided to stay the night but only for tonight though. I had to go to my Dad and step mom's house for one of their annual "monthly check up on our kids" s**t. As much as I didn't want to go I had no choice. I told Nevaeh to cover for me and tell Momma that I would be hanging with Tyree, Molly, and Deonna at Tyree's but I might be at Molly's for the night. Knowing Nevaeh, it came with a price. I gave her $10 and told her she could borrow anything out my closet except for my beanies for a month. That's besides the point though.

Caine was sitting on his love seat playing 2K13 on his Xbox and I was rolling up a blunt for me and him to smoke when I felt something hard inside of my stomach. I flinched a little bit but I kept rolling the blunt. I had just finnished rolling the blunt and I had got that feeling again except this time it was more harder and more painful. I yelled a little in pain and Caine looked over at me. He saw I was hunched over and holding my stomach. He immediately paused the game and rushed over to my side and put his arms around me. "You ok babe?" He asked me. Knowing I wasn't I nodded any ways. "Just a stomach ache. You got some Tums?" He shook his head no and I pouted and poked my lip out. "That's okay." I told him. "I got some at my house, I'll be back." "Okay Shawty!" Caine said before I walked out the door. I snuck in the back door and tip-toed to the closest bathroom in our house to search the medicine cabinet for some Tums. "s**t!" I whispered to myself. Momma or Howard must've had an upset stomach recently and took the Tums into the bathroom by their room.

I was about to walk out the bathroom but I felt something on its way up my stomach and trying to make through my mouth. I immediately ran towards the toilet and lifted up the seat and started throwing up. I felt so disgusted after I was done but I was more worried than anything. What the hell was wrong with me? I decided that I'll make a doctors appointment in the morning so I could find out what was wrong with me. After I brushed my teeth and washed my face I made my way towards the bathroom by my Momma's room. I opened the medicine cabinet and saw the Tums right in front of my face. "Jackpot! Come to Momma!!" I took two Tums out the bottle and put them in my mouth and swallowed a little water along with it to help them go down. As I was putting the bottle back in the cabinet I heard Howard's voice down the hall.

"Why don't you trust me with your kids, Tracey?" I heard Howard say. "We've been together for so long and you can't even trust me to take Nevaeh to the damn store that's around the corner!" Apparently Howard brought up the incident that happened on Valentine's Day. I was just as curious to find out what was going on so I crept in the bathroom for a while to find out for myself.

"It's complicated Howard!"

"How in the hell is it complicated?!"

"Just know that I don't trust you with Nevaeh or Annah, Ok?!"

"No it's not Ok, Tracey! I may not have conceived them but their my children just as much as they are yours!"I could tell Howard was getting heated more and more by the second. I opened the door a little so I could hear them just a little better. Even though they were yelling I couldn't hear them as well as I could with the door opened. "I'm not letting anybody hurt my babies the same way I let someone hurt me!" I heard my mother cry out. I could tell that she was crying by the way her voice sound.

"What you mean, Tracey? Who hurt you?" It grew silent. "Tracey, I know you hear me talking to you." I opened up the door slightly more. I heard someone crying and that someone was my mother. Why was Mommy crying? "Talk to me Tracey."

More crying came from down the hall. "W-well.." My mother said with a stutter. I could tell she was trying to stop herself from crying. "It all started when I was 14 years old..." She started. "What the hell happened, woman? Get on with it!" I had thought to myself very impatient like.

"I had just hit puberty. My body was developing and I had breast, hips, ass, and thighs. I knew what I was working with at that age but trust me, I never flaunted it. Especially in front of older men. Anyways, one day I'm at my Uncle Sammy's house doing chores for a little extra cash. He had just divorced my Aunt Deanne and lost all custody of his kids so he needed extra help with things to be done at the house. It was just me and Uncle Sammy at the house that one day and I rememer it like it was yesterday. It was a summer day in St. Louis, Missouri and it was raining cats and dogs. I had just finnished the living room and was doing the dishes when Uncle Sammy came up behind me. I felt his member on the middle of my butt and his hands around my waist. I asked him what he was doing and he just told me to be quiet but I refused. I turned around and smacked him in the face once and when I tried to do it again he caught hold of both of my wrists and threw me on the ground. He then kicked me a couple of times in my side until I begged for him to stop. He laughed and then grabbed me by my neck and picked me up. I screamed and asked why was he hurting me but he choked me and told me to shut up or he would kill me. I kept struggling to get out his grip and eventualy blacked out. Next thing I know, I woke up naked in my Uncle Sammy's bed butt naked! I looked next to me and saw he was next to me sleeping. I tried to stand up but my legs gave out and I fell to my knees. I felt my vaginal area and saw that it was covered in blood and I knew I wasn't on my period because I had just ended my cycle for that month a week before. I quickly grabbed my clothes and put them on as fast as I could and ran the 7 miles all the way back home to tell my parents. They called the police and after 5 months, Uncle Sammy was sentenced 9-10 years in the penitentiary. Ever since the day that man stole my innocence I made a promise to myself that I would never let a man do my children the way that that man did me!"

I could hear my mother breaking down some more on that last sentence. So that's why she acted like that with me and Nevaeh. She was just trying to protect us but that doesn't mean Howard had to pay for my Great Uncle Sammy's mistakes.

"It's okay baby. I would never do Annah or Nevaeh like that! That's just plain sick!!! That man deserved life for what he did to you." I heard Howard say to her. I heard her sniff a little and her say that she was going to trust Howard more. I decided I was through being nosey since my mother was perfectly fine now and crept back out the back door and back to Caine's house. I walked through the door and saw him smoking the weed that we was supposed to smoke together. "Damn, if you had to take a s**t over there you could've just told me that!" Caine said to me. I laughed. "I wasn't shitting, I had trouble finding the medicine at my house!" I half lied. "Your impatient ass couldn't wait to smoke, huh?"

"I just lit this s**t. Shut the hell up." He said to me. I laughed at him again and sat next to him and started kissing him. "Now pass that s**t!" I said smiling at him. He did as I said and I snatched it out his hand while saying "Thank you, very much!" with a smile. He looked at me and said "Don't be snatching motha' fucka'! The f**k wrong with you?" I just laughed some more and blew some smoke in his face. He kissed me and we finnished off the blunt. Tonight was the first night we didn't f**k in a while because I was scared that I would throw up again but I told Caine it was because I just wasn't in the mood for it. He got a little upset but he soon got over it. That whole night I was just thinking of the aweful terror my mother went through and I felt so sorry for her. I just hope that she can really learn how to trust Howard now because believe it or not, I think Howard is a great man and he's a great man for my mommy.