*Matilda*
I'm not used to having to sneak about my residence, but I don't want to awaken Gina, whose room is three down from my own. The possibility of being caught, however, adds a tantalizing edge to the night, even though discovery is incredibly slight since all the servants are abed. When I arranged to be found kissing the servant, I was nervous, terrified that my plan wouldn’t work.
I'm not terrified tonight. I'm not even nervous. It's true the night might not go as I planned, as I hoped, might end up being nothing but disappointment and leave me to face further unsatisfactory nights, but the number is limited. I have been wise enough to ensure our association ends on my terms. I can suffer through anything for a specified period of time. My marriage to Downie taught me that.
Slipp
