A new want

2354 Words

*Matilda* I'm aware of him, feel his gaze on me before I see him. I had been afraid that if I signed the message he wouldn't come. Or perhaps I had been afraid he would. It terrifies me how badly I want him, how glad I am to see he is here, waiting for me. A dozen times I have reconsidered my plan. I know it's reckless, and yet what do I have to lose? I have lost everything that mattered: my reputation, my pride, my respect. I have lost my influence. I have lost my ability to ensure Gina is happy. Without my sister's happiness, I will lose my opportunity to return to the western lands, to begin to rebuild my life. My sordid reputation is unlikely to follow me back home. I have never been accepted into the highest Society, which was the reason my mother had so desperately wanted me to

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