Taste of Poison

Kabanata 27

Heartless

I have never been to this lab before. So, this is why Mama Astrid keeps coming back here to New York because they're conducting research about the cure if there is. It is located in the basement of Tita Maureen's place, Kuya Aamon's mother. At ang lugar ay nasa gilid lamang ng beach kung saan hindi masyadong dinadayo ng mga tao.

"You're here, darling!" magiliw na sabi ni Tita nang makita ako.

I bumped my cheeks to hers while roaming my eyes around. We are complete. From Mallory who's holding a small magnifying class, Kuya Aamon, and my mother.

Si Tita Maureen at ang ama ni Mallory na si Tito Arthur.

Tito Arthur, Tita Maureen are my mother's siblings. All works as a researcher.

"Tita..." I smiled at her.

"You look more beautiful," she giggled.

They're all wearing a white gown and gloves. I guess they're busy basing on those equipment I saw on a long table and open computers.

Honestly, I have nothing to do here. I can't help so, why am I needed?

I felt Azar's hand on my back.

"That was a long drive. How about rest?" tukoy niya sa naging byahe namin papunta rito.

It was an hour drive. Kagabi nga ay diretso ang tulog ko hanggang umaga sa sobang hilo ko sa byahe. Then this morning, after a long rest, we decided to go here and I didn't know he lives far away from this lab.

Tipid akong umiling. "I'm fine..."

"Should I leave you all here?" he asked instead.

"Yes, please do..." ani Mama Astrid.

Naramdaman ko ang masuyong halik ni Azar sa aking ulo bago ako binitawan. My eyes followed him until he vanished.

I sighed deeply and looked at them one-by-one.

"So..." I started. "How may I help?"

They all turned their back on me aside from my mother and continued doing their work. Nagkibit-balikat ako. So, this is just between me and Mama Astrid, then.

"Go upstairs and we'll talk," she commanded before removing her gloves.

I nodded my head repeatedly. "Okay," I said.

With my thumbs on my jeans' small pockets, I turned around and climbed upstairs behind me.

The house is small yet modern. A lot of minimalist paintings are hanging in the wall. As well as those cute chandeliers on the high ceiling.

All I could see is white and grey colors. People around me seem to love to live with these styles, eh?

"Emory," tawag ni Mama na nakasunod na pala sa akin.

I didn't bother to look at her. My eyes were focused on the large portrait placed in the middle of the living room.

The picture caught my attention. It was the same photo I saw in our old house. Ang pagkakaiba nga lang ay wala roon si Leo Madrigal at ang great grandfather ko.

I stared at it seriously, staring at the man beside my mother.

It was Azar's father... So, they really know each other before?

Sa litrato ay nakasuot sila ng puting roba. Si Tito Arthur at Tita, si Mama at ang ama ni Az.

Mama Astrid looked so young there as well as her siblings. Pakiramdam ko nga ay kuha iyon nang hindi pa kami pinapanganak.

If that's the case, then they're really friends even before I met Azar.

I turned around to looked at my mother.

"So, what do I need to know?" I asked and walked towards the couch.

"Everything you ask," aniya at umupo sa sofa.

I shrugged and looked around the corner.

"Marami akong itatanong at alam niyo naman 'yon. I don't want to waste my energy asking the same question over and over again."

She inhaled sharply. "Everything was a lie."

My brows furrowed. "I know that. Tell me something more interesting, Ma."

"Nandito ka dahil ikaw lang ang dahilan para mapapayag si Azar na gamitin siya upang mahanap ang gamot..."

Pakiramdam ko ay nag-init ang tainga ko sa kaniyang sinabi.

Agad ko siyang binalingan. "That's why I'm needed?" sarkastiko kong tanong.

"He needs you to be here."

Nag-iwas ko ng tingin at naikuyom ang kamay sa gilid. I felt like I exist to be used or fool around. Ang maging tulay na lang ba ang tangi kong maitutulong sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin?

And my mother, is she this heartless?

Minsan ay naiisip kong hindi ko siya ina sa paraan ng pag-trato niya sa akin.

Who would use her own daughter to make her plan works? Only my mother.

Pumasok si Simeon sa aking isipan. I don't know if I should be thankful or envious that he's gone so, people can't control him like what's our mother always do.

Daig pa niya si Azar na walang puso.

"Ilang beses na namin siya pinilit na maging parte ng pananaliksik na ito pero ayaw niyang pumayag. He doesn't want to cooperate, and has no sympathy for those vampires who wee forced to become a vampire."

"Hindi niya gusto pero pinipilit niyo, Ma!" singhal ko sabay baling sa kaniya.

"You're the one who made him changed his decision, Emory. You brought him here, remember? And there's no turning back."

"Aalis kami at babalik sa Pilipinas," mariin kong sinabi.

"There's no turning back, Emory."

Then, I heard a loud thud just few meters away. Mabilis ko iyon nalingon at agad na umalpas ang luha sa pisngi ko nang makita si Azar na nanghihina sa bungad ng pinto.

He was on the ground, groaning as he tried to take the syringe on his arm.

"Azar!" I shouted and got up to attend to him.

Hindi pa man ako tuluyang nakakalapit sa kaniya ay mahigpit na akong hinawakan ni Mama Astrid sa braso.

She was gripping my arms too tight that I could feel her nails digging in to my skin. Napadaing ako sa sakit na naramdaman.

"Mama!" Pagmamakaawa ko. "Bitawan mo ako! Don't to this to me, Mama!" Pumiyok ang aking boses sa huli.

Mama Astrid held both of my arms as I just watched Azar being taken away by those two men I've never seen before. They went to drag him towards our direction and it pains me seeing him winced in pain.

"Az... Azar! Baby..." my voice broke.

Sunod-sunod na umalpas ang luha ko. I just want to close my eyes but he shook his head as if telling me not to.

Napaka-walang puso talaga niya. Hindi ba niya naisip ang nararamdaman ko ngayong nakikita ko siyang nasasaktan?

"Az... Mama!"

When he's near, I dropped my knees on the ground and held his face. Masuyo kong hinaplos ang kaniyang mga pisngi.

"I'm sorry, luv... I'm so sorry for this happened because of me," naiiyak kong sinabi.

"It's not your fault, Emory. Don't blame anyone, okay?"

Umiling ako. "We will leave here. Uuwi tayo sa Pinas at hindi na rito babalik. We'll go home and you'll be safe there, okay? Safe tayo roon."

"Please..." his voice was weak.

Pinawi ko ang pawis na namumuo sa gilid ng kaniyang noo.

I smiled wearily. "You'll suffer here, babe. Pahihirapan ka lang nila. You don't want to be here in the first place... You don't want to be their subject to this research, right? Kaya aalis tayo."

"Emory, I'm fine. I will be fine."

Muli akong umiling. "You're not fine. They will experiment you, can't you see?! Kaya get up! Regain your strength so we can leave!"

Pilit ko siyang hinihila patayo. I grabbed his arm, even his shirt, and his shoulder but he stayed on his spot. Naiiyak ulit akong bumagsak sa harapan niya.

I rested my palms above my legs as my tears continued to fall down my cheeks.

"Gusto kong umalis," nanghihina kong bulong.

"Stay here..."

"And what?" Nag-angat ako ng tingin. "Para panoorin kung paano ka nila gamitin? They will just use you for their own good, Azar! Hindi mo ba 'yon nakikita?"

"It's for everyone," I heard my mother.

I scoff and looked at her over my shoulder. She's still standing behind me, looking down at me.

"Everyone? Or for your own good? Sarili mo lang naman ang palagi mong iniisip, Mama."

Sinenyasan niya ang dalawa pa at agad akong nakaramdam ng takot nang muli nilang hinila si Azar.

He can't even stand up! Alam kong dahil sa itinurok sa kaniya kaya nanghihina ang katawan niya.

Muli akong lumapit sa kaniya at sa pagkakataong ito ay paulit-ulit kong hinampas ang dalawang lalaki na basta na lamang siyang hinihila!

They both protect themselves from my slaps by shielding using their hands. Hindi naman sila pumatol at nang mapagod ay dinaluhan ko si Azar.

His eyes are tired. Wari'y ko ay anumang oras ay bibigay na rin ang kaniyang mga mata.

"We'll leave, okay? I assured you that."

Kahit nanghihina ay inangat niya ang kamay para hawakan ang aking mukha. I drew myself closer to his so he could reach me.

"No... I'll stay here," utal niyang sabi.

"Pero..."

He cut me off by pressing his finger to my lips.

"Let's just stay here. They won't kill me, Emory. They need me so, they won't. I will be fine. We will be fine here so, let's stay, okay? I need you here."

I sniffed. Natuyo na ang luha sa mga pisngi ko pero ang puso ko ay patuloy pa rin na nagluluksa.

I feel betrayed. Nabawasan na pati ang kompyansa ko sa sarili sa mga nangyayari.

Was I born to be used like an object whom they can fool anytime they want? Or need?

Sarili kong ina ay ginagamit na ako. Ano pa kaya ang ibang tao?

Now, they'll use the only person who makes me feel alive for the past months. Who makes me feel like I matter. That I'm wanted and needed at the same time.

I licked my lower lip to stop it from shivering.

"Promise me you'll be fine..."

Nanghihina man ay nagawa niya pa na ngumiti sa akin.

"I promise. Ilang linggo, o buwan mo lang akong hindi mahahawakan. After they're done, sa 'yo na ulit ako."

Muli na namang nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko pero pinigilan ko ang sarili na muling maiyak.

I don't want him to see me like this. Kaya naman ginawaran ko rin siya ng isang matamis na ngiti kahit pa ramdam ko ang panginginig nito.

"I will wait," puno ng sensiridad kong sinabi.

"Of course, you should."

That day, he was put to sleep and I don't know when he's going to wake up.

"Here, water." Inabot sa akin ni Mallory ang baso.

Kinuha ko iyon at binaba sa mesa. I heard her deep sighs before sitting on the couch on my left side.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Ry," she cheered. "Just trust Tita Astrid, all of us. Hindi lang para sa atin ang ginagawa niya. She's doing it for those victims of VBT which took their humanity."

I stared at the glass blankly. Why does she even bother?

"She was a huntress. She killed vampires and now, she wants to save them for what reason?"

"People changed."

Sarkastiko akong tumawa. "Don't use that on me. Of course, they're always a hidden agenda."

Why is she helping them? Given the fact that we all want to stop vampires from killing humans, why? I find it strange.

She doesn't even care before. Pinapatay niya lang ang telebisyon noon tuwing may balita tungkol sa krimen na ginagawa ng mga bampira.

I'm sure she has plan running inside her mind.

Napalingon ako kay Tita Maureen na umupo sa tabi ko.

Since that day, I never entered the lab again as I don't want to see Azar. Tatlong araw na rin ang nakalipas at hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakukuha ang lakas na meron ako.

I badly want to see him but I can't. Ayokong makita siyang nakaratay at maraming aparatus na nakakabit ayon kay Tita Maureen.

"Wanna hear an update?"

Bumaling ako kay Tita at tumango. She always updates me on what's happening inside.

"I don't know if he told you this but, Azar wasn't heartless."

"What do you mean, Tita?"

Muling inabot ni Mallory ang baso ng tubig na agad kong tinanggap. I drank the water at all once and held the glass tight.

"He wasn't heartless, Emory. He was born as a vampire and completely normal minus that he burns under the moon rather than the sun. At first, we really thought he was born with no heartbeat as that's what was we've found but, at this time..." umiling siya.

"May nakita kaming hole sa kaniyang puso. But it's not an Atrial Septal Defect na kadalasan nakikita sa ibang babies since birth. And the fact that he's an adult already, it's not ASD and I'm sure of that. Something happened which caused his heart to lose its beat."

Nabitawan ko ang baso at narinig ko na lang ang pagbagsak at pagkabasag nito. Agad akong napatayo at kumurap-kurap.

Tulala akong tumingin kay Tita. "He wasn't heartless?" I asked, almost a whisper.

She nodded confidently. "He wasn't, Emory. His blood is what's keeping him alive."

"His blood is green, Tita..."

"What is he? An alien?" singit ni Mallory na hindi namin pinansin.

"That's why we need him, Emory. He's inside that lab because of his unordinary blood. Siya lang ang natatangi na nabubuhay gamit lang ng kaniyang dugo."

"Pero paano kung temporary lang, Tita? What would happen to him? If his blood stops, would he die?"

"I don't think it's temporary, ija. His blood is special. We took a sample and still waiting for the results. I will update you soon."

Napaupo ako. "Please do. Thank you, Tita."

She smiled and run her fingers to my hair. Masuyo niya iyon hinaplos.

"Magiging maayos din ang lahat, Emory. You just need to trust us, okay? Ako na ang humihingi ng tawad sa mga ginagawa ni Astrid sa 'yo. But please keep in mind that she's doing it not just for us but, for everyone's sake."

Nag-iwas lang ako ng tingin. Lahat kami ay nasa isang bubong nanatili. Pero tuwing nakikita ko si Mama, umiiwas ako. Pakiramdam ko ayaw ko siyang makita o makausap man lang.

Nagagalit pa rin ako sa kaniya. The fact that she lied and used me still remain.

Isa pa, wala pa siyang sinasabi sa akin tungkol sa ama ko. Honestly, I almost forgot about it as I was busy worrying and thinking about Azar.

Ayoko rin namang magtanong sa kaniya.

I'm still angry. She said she would tell me everything once I arrived here but, I think she has no plan yet. O baka sinabi niya lang 'yon para mapapunta ako rito sa New York.

I'd like to think the latter.

"O, siya..." Tumayo si Tita Maureen at tiningnan kami ni Mallory. "It's lunch already. You two should eat with us. Come, Emory."

I bit the side of my cheek. "Si Mama..."

She chuckled. "Sit beside me, iha. Huwag mo na alalahanin si Astrid. Masyado lang siyang pa-cold but deep inside, I know she's sorry."

I inhaled sharply and forced a smile.