Howl Your Appellations

A Shot in the Dark

BOEN OPEOR

As Sana told me her true feelings, I realized that even though she feels guilty for killing her brother, she has little feelings of remorse for what she's done. I know her acting like this is exclusive only towards her brother because when she talked about her mom, I could feel her remorse, guilt, longing, and sadness. Nike is a special case and yet I feel so terrified of her right now. The truth is how I was told: Lissana killed her brother, and in addition to that, she felt good as her mouth dripped of blood from her brother's severed head.

"I...I.." Lissana inches back slowly, "I know this is hard to take in. If I could go back in time and change what I'd done I would but, there's nothing I can do. If I could bring them back I would. I miss them so much, and I've been in the dark ever since."

Lissana looks at me, and she can tell that the mood has shifted, and the true shift in our relationship finally starts. She gives out a sad sigh but gives me a strained smile before she jumps off the roof of the train, leaving me alone.

"After the tournament, everyone cried until their eyes dried up and Imus nearly went mute.He wouldn't let go of his body...you would think that he'd just snap and kill me but he never did. If he killed me, nothing would be left of Nike. He'd have no one close to him who knew of Nike like I did. I consider Imus as a brother, I learned to appreciate Nike more because of him, and Nike became softer because he had someone he loved. Imus is important to me, but why can't I ever show him this place? Why was it so easy to show you?"

Lissana stares at me from afar, I'd forgotten that we were inside one of Grey's paintings. I'm not in the real world, and Lissana hasn't told me how to get back. I'm essentially trapped.

"Boen, I know it's already started. I've told you my secret, now you tell me yours." Lissana pauses and looks at the ground, "Heh, well I don't think you're keeping any dark secrets. There's a limit to how similar we can be."

Secrets as dark as hers? I don't have any, I was just a regular rich girl from the city. My secrets don't even mean anything in this context. All I have are doubts, anxieties and unanswered questions.

I open my mouth, unsure if what I'm about to say will make any sense, "I don't think I have dark secrets yet. You knew that you were cursed when you were born, and you had your mother and brother to keep you in check. I...since I was young, I've been able to move places, well one place actually, but sometimes I get transported somewhere unsafe."

"S-so you really can teleport?" Sana asks with mouth agape.

"I used to be able to teleport to the Observatory. I don't know what that place is or what the people who can go there are, but, I could transport myself there at will when I was young. I hadn't met a single person there to help me. They were all too keen for me to figure the place out for myself. I was a lost seven year old, what if something happened to me during my trips there?"

"D-did anything happen?"

"I got bored of the place pretty quickly. No one wanted to talk to a child and the observatory was pretty but small. I still can't figure out for the life of me what that place was. A place for people like me? Maybe. But I hated how no one helped each other, and I ended up acting like those snobs in the end.

After elementary school, I started having a hard time traveling. I kept ending up in dark alleys, in the middle of the forest, or stuck in a room with no doors. But..." I pause as I recall a certain precious memory, "getting lost lead me to find Soft, and I managed to find hideouts for me and Moze during high school. Sigh, I just want to know what I am and how I'm able to travel like that."

I move forward and begin to sway my legs over the empty door of the painted train.

"There's something I haven't told you or the pack since it just happened so recently, and everyone's tired beyond comprehension. And your tournaments are starting soon, so I didn't want to bother you all. But, it's only fair that I tell you about this, since you've told me your whole truth."

I can see Sana gulp from the angle where I am sitting. I'm not normally in a position when I can look down on her, but right now, it feels surreal, but also somehow right.

"As you know, Reese, Nikki, and I went to the Inner Market today. My first time. And Nikki insisted that I should buy something for myself, because it's an important part of the 'Inner Market Experience'. So I bought this trinket, a sculpture made from a coral. The old man who owned the place was nice but also a bit creepy. He mentioned my grandfather's name together with 'that ram' . It has been in the back of my mind the whole night. I don't know what to think of it."

"What was your grandfather's name?" Lissana asks.

"Magnaldo Opeor. He was a business man and an explorer but you know him as the monster who owned the Fae coffin. I don't know if he actually built the place and kept the faes there or that he bought it from someone and they were the ones who killed the faes. I don't know the correct timeline of when the m******e happened... "

Sana thinks about it, "I was a child when the m******e happened. And the forest was unsafe for twenty years. I didn't know any of the humans who ambushed the queen and murdered...I was too young, and we stayed here for the longest time. Don't your folks know anything about that piece of s**t?"

"My parents don't know anything. After my father took over the business, my grandfather disappeared. He'd reveal himself occasionally but his whereabouts outside of that were a mystery until he died. The only person we knew who knew about my grandfather is his old time friend Beanie. I think...he's probably a good guy, but I know that he knows something, and he's hiding something from me. He knew how dangerous the forest is and he still let me stay."

"Beanie...before you came here. There was an old man who stank of goat s**t that occasionally would look at the house. He'd only stay for a few minutes then leave...was that the guy?"

"Was he short and was wearing a beanie? He owned different kinds of those. Just like how Reese is with her ponchos."

"Huh, that was him then. We never really cared about him, and he never set foot outside of the cabin area. He had no intentions of staying in the forest. I'm sure."

I think about Beanie's size, and how that small man would probably rent a scooter just to check on the cabin. I really don't understand. If he knew, he wouldn't have given the keys to the cabin to me, right? What is Beanie hiding? I have to get the truth out of him if I want to figure out what I really am.

"Boen?" Sana calls my name in her softest voice, "Is there more?"

I think I'd forgotten something important to tell her but I somehow can't remember. We were talking about Beanie too much.

"I...what do you think I am, Sana?" I ask, hoping that she'd give me a clue. Some sort of thread to follow.

"What do you mean. What do I think you are? ...well, you're definitely an anomaly.." she replies.

"That's what Kaz has been calling me. Any more and I'll develop an Appellation for it!" I manage to kid.

"Oh! That reminds me! I can see more Appellations now! After my encounter with Soft and Matti, I managed to see more than just everyone's names... what's wrong?"

Lissana's face turns pale as well as her lips. Was she hiding more things after all?

"You can see more now? It would normally take new Weres a year to get used to Appellations and see multiple of them...but you say you can see more now? How many of my Apps can you see right now?"

"I..." I didn't know it took them that long to get used to seeing Appellations. Can't they just not decide to see it? Or is that also an advance skill that I managed to perfect in an unfair amount of time. At this point, I'm too afraid to ask.

"Lissana Mons, Boen and Fang, 4th Generation Alpha...um...as I thought, it's difficult to make out the rest. They only look like rings to me...Is that bad?"

Sana gives out a sigh of relief.

"Matti must have gifted you with additional sight. You still have a long way to go, but this is still pretty unsettling," she says.

"I have a few more Appellations that can be a bit difficult to see. And I've hidden one."

"You can hide Appellations?"

"Well, not in the distant past. The rules seem to change slightly over the years. Luna does not give us warnings. But...yeah...I've hidden one, although it doesn't do anything and it kind of blocks me from using it. Not that I ever will ever again. Hahh...do you know how important it is to howl your Appellations?" she asks, standing completely still.

"I don't understand."

"Your Appellations make up your achievements and who you are based on your actions and your origin. You have three right now, don't you? Your name, The Outsider, and The Catalyst. One of these levels up certain skills, so maybe The Outsider you is what manages your teleportation, and The Catalyst you, makes you all floaty. Everything's connected to your Appellations and you have to exercise them regularly. That's why our motto is: 'Howl Your Appellations'."

She explains it better than I could ever have hoped. How come nobody told me about this? It feels like Sana finally answered some of the questions I've been asking myself. I just needed to ask the right questions. The hard questions to answer starts with: Why?

"That's amazing! I didn't think that they were so important. This is progress!" I raise my hands in the air.

"Huh? so the pack never told you?! What else do you don't know? I thought Reese filled you in with the basics?"

"She tried. I just didn't think about it too much before you came. Everyone was too stressed to ever prioritize teaching me over worrying about you. I was also still in rehab and had to focus on walking properly with my new leg."

"Oh, yeah. You're right. In a way, this is the best case scenario so far. The pack, and both of us are still alive."

I give Sana a small nod. It's not prefect, but at least no one else had died.

We seem to have run out of things to say, but I still feel like I'd forgotten something important. I can't let us leave until I remember it. But why can't I remember? Is there something blocking my memory? Is it because we're inside this painting that I can't remember? I still don't know how to leave but we can't leave now. I haven't told her everything yet, and I know it's something I'm scared the other members would know about. It's...what...was it?

"Boen, are you okay? Do you want to leave after all? Because I can take you back. I can show you to to ge— "

"No! There's still something I have to tell you!! It's something important but I can't remember!" I start tapping the edge of my hand onto my forehead.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Sana rushes to me, "Don't force yourself. This isn't the right place."

"But if I can't tell you here then, the others might find out."

"Is it that important that you'll risk hurting yourself? It's okay Boen!" Sana grabs my hands. I look at her eyes directly but the glow of her Appellations obscured my vision. I close my eyes to the light and I finally remember,

"Sana! Why do I have infinite Karam?!"