Howl Your Appellations

The Exclusionary

BOEN OPEOR

Is this what if feels like to die? Like drowning but not by water but by darkness? How am I so sure this is the end, but if I’ll be trapped here forever anyway, isn’t that sort of like death? In my grandfather’s room, my Pa whom I respected, at least, how did he manage to stay for hours on end in a room that knows only illusions and trickery? Or is this his doing too?

No, my grandfather was fully human, I am 100% sure of that. Even if he was secretive and elusive, incredibly distant, there was no doubt that he was human. Because the way my parents work isn’t what people perceive to be as normal. They’ve interrogated him, done investigations of him, see if he was hiding more wealth from them. None of the records ever pointed him out to be that of the moon’s creatures. No irregularities with his form, and nothing out of place happened during his funeral. Except…Beanie.

Beanie, Beanie, what does he know. I’m in what feels like a state of deterioration and he doesn’t even know. He gave me the keys to this house and told me that the forest would protect me. But the forest isn’t even here right now, and the ones who protected me wasn’t the forest, it was Lissana and her pack. Lissana was the one who told me to leave, even though it would eliminate the chances of me ever trusting or liking her. I wish I’d done better then.

“Sorry, Lissana, I messed up.”

“Hey, what do you mean you messed up, missy?”

“Huh?!”

As I open my eyes and the light rushes in with great , enormous haste,

I see Lissana Mons.

The disheveled hair, the muscular build, her butterfly brown skin and her perfect deep dark masterpieces for eyes. I can feel my head rest on her plump bicep and her arms carrying me like a damn fairy tale heroine. I take a moment to process everything, but I couldn’t process a single thing.

“W-what’s going on?! Y-you’re back and you’re okay? Are you hurt somewhere? Does the pack know? What happened to fea parts, and the Queen? How---”

“---Wai, wai, wia, wait! Hold your horses! Hahahaha those are are a lot of questions Boen! But lucky for you, I don’t have to answer all of it myself!”

She lifts my head up, a bit closer to her face and gave my forehead a peck. I blush a little.

“You see because we’re all back home!!! Isn’t that right everybody!!!” Lissana screams and I can feel a tingling sensation that I’m about to be welcomed home, for the first time in my life, I feel welcomed to be home.

We pass the bushes and the invisible wavy barriers and there everyone is! The whole pack all excited and happy. Everyone, Lissana’s back! Can you guys believe it!

“I’m back, with our very special member! Howl wild, you suckers!”

Everyone howled minus myself because apparently I decided my heart was beating loud enough from the adrenaline, ecstasy and relief. I couldn’t hear anything either, everything was in slow motion and everyone came running towards us.

Mei runs to us like a raging ram, and Beige and Reese, and Cain, and Miller, the sisters, and the rest falls down in a pile of happy people, laughing and crying.

“Sorry we made you worry guys, everything’s okay now right? We and the forest will be okay?” I ask while under the weight of at least three people and my back pressing on Lissana’s soft body. “Tell me, everything!”

“Hahahaha, let’s have our feast first! We can’t celebrate with empty stomachs now can we? Let’s go, pack~!”

Even though I feel like I could walk perfectly on my own now, I let Sana carry me inside The Train without reservations. She and I both enjoyed it, so no harm was ever dealt. Definitely, the opposite is what we felt inside.

The smell of the halls and the winding of its design makes me even more giddy. To think that I didn’t need to do the retrieval alone, if they had gone in with me from the start, things would have been a lot easier, and quicker I think. They’ll tell me in detail what really happened over lunch, or breakfast…dinner. I can’t, for the love of me, tell what time of the day it is.

“Now, everyone! To your seats! And Boen, you sit next to me, yeah? For catching up purposes.” Sana places me down the seat next to her.

I feel like a genuine queen, meanwhile everyone’s looking at me with knowing looks plastered on their faces. Almost too knowing, embarrassingly knowing. Sana laughs and tells everyone to knock it off. She gives a toast,

“Nothing could be better than this! Everyone, together like this, eating Mill and Nikki’s cooking, with the ingredients hunted by our Mei and our youngsters, and Imus for buying the condiments from the Inner Market! We don’t give dinners like this often! And it only took us to prevent the entire annihilation of the forest to finally get the pack to eat together! ”

“What’s going? Lissana’s using big words all of a sudden!” Reese jabs. Everyone laughs.

“Bottom-line: We’ve got Boen to thank us for this feast. And with Luna as our witness, we thank you deeply, Boen Opeor.”

She looks at me almost as if she’s dreaming. I don’t have the slightest idea on how to accept such a deep and heavy thanks. I didn’t really do anything major anyway, it was all them. Without them, I wouldn’t be alive, the Prince would have crushed all that I was.

“I accept your thanks on behalf of everyone in this room.” I reply, stand up, then bow.

There’s a moment of silence, then everyone cheered and applauded. It shakes the room a little how rowdy everyone is, even Koto seem to be more optimistic than normal. She must’ve really missed Lissana’s presence in the pack.

“Now, let’s eat!!!”

Carried by the flow of the festive vibe, everyone enjoyed the feast, eating, laughing making jokes and occasionally rough-housing. I was a loud and energetic celebration. Although despite it, I couldn’t really taste how good the food was, how good was the roast and grilled meat, how savory was the Inner market soup, the water, the wine.

“Ya sure eat a lot, Boen. Don’t hold back too, there’s still some left, and I think Mei and Beige won’t be able to move for a while. Look at how f****d their stomachs are.”

When Lissana talks I feel like I’ll be able to relax but, some things seem a bit off. I don’t know for how long I was unconscious for but it feels like not even a few hours have past. I need them, her, to reassure me. Now that I know that her intentions are good.

“Sana, what happened really?” I ask her seriously.

“What do you mean? Didn’t we tell you over dinner? I came with Imus, crushing through your cabin! Crashed another door and we found you unconscious. You were burning hot, not sick, just hot to the touch. I made Imus look after you for a bit then found the Queen myself!”

“Ah. Oh, so that’s…you make it sound like it was so easy. That room trapped me in, I couldn’t find the way out…”

“We encounter those things often. Thankfully, you managed to keep yourself afloat. You did great.” She smiles and pats my head, a weight-less pat.

“What happened to the Queen and the Prince after? Where was I before I woke up, why wasn’t I at The Train in the first place?”

Lissana scratches her head, “Ahhh, we’ll the details, Imus took care of Prince and Queen, he’s good at those sort of things. Prince has Queen now, they got their happily ever after.”

Lissana looks at me, she stares, lifts my chin up with her finger and says, “I’m finally back, rescued my princess, and am home with my family. This is perfect.”

I stare back at her perfect eyes but I can’t make out my own reflection. I know now that something’s wrong. Lissana doesn’t seem like the type to talk this way, not in a heroic kind of manner. I don’t think she sees herself as that.

“Sana, you can tell me if something’s wrong. Maybe I can help.” I tell her. She’s not trying to hide something important from everybody again is she?

The woman of large build, stands up from her chair and offers me her hand, instructing me that the two of us should take our leave and talk elsewhere. This is a weird behavior coming from her as well. She wasn’t this proper before, she didn’t care. She was a little try hand but she was confident and that was enough of a charm of hers.

I take her hand anyway. If we’re alone, she might tell me why she’s acting so strange and I can tell her about how I can’t tell what time of the day it is or how the food taste almost like nothing.

We take our leave, and the others cheered as if she know what we’re about to do. We head down the tunnel and pass the under-rooms, my metal leg doesn’t feel like it’s the same weight as before. The soft breeze feels artificial in a way, not refreshing. The view of Lissana’s back feels robotic, like she’s following a strict route.

We pass Nike’s room, without even so much as a pause. “He would be proud of everyone right now, wouldn’t he?” I comment.

Sana looks back at me and exclaims, “Yeah! He would be.” as we continue to walk. I realized something.

“Sana? Where’s the bag Cain gave me? Do you know where it is?”

“Oh, um, It’s probably in your room.” We keep walking.

So many things really don’t add up. I woke up in her arms, wearing the same clothes when I went in the cabin. But my bag’s gone and Sana claims that it’s in my room. M-maybe Imus brought it back, possibly.

“Sana, don’t you think we’re far enough from everyone? You can tell me what’s wrong now. It’ll be okay as long as we talk, right? I’m just a little fatigued…maybe.”

“Huh? I think you might be still a bit shaken up. Everything’s fine. I was just taking you to my room so you can get some rest. Come on.”

“Haahh…oh, so that’s… maybe the room just did things to my body.” Maybe, I’m the only one having trouble adjusting again. I don’t know what really happened, and why would they all lie to me even.

I look out The Train windows and I see the moon, it’s shining normally, thankfully. I can finally tell what time of the day it is, it’s finally nighttime. We had dinner and we’re finally headed to bed. I’m headed to bed with Lissana. I shouldn’t worry too much about things that already happened, especially if the things that happened are good.

“Hey, Sana, you remember when we first met? I was chasing Reese and you told me she was just some cosplayer! Hahahaha but you know, I lost something important from that day.”

I play with my hands, as if hoping or making a wish. I wait for her to look at me and reply.

“What’d you lose? Maybe I picked it up somehow.”

“Oh I’m pretty sure you would have given it to me if you did. I don’t know what happened to my house but…”

It dawned on me. I felt everything in my stomach get pulled down by the gravity of anxiety. Where in the world is Soft?!

“Back in the cabin, did you guys find a black cat with white paws??! She was my cat! What happened to her?!” I wail at Lissana. I’m frustrated in myself that it took me so long to notice.

“Is she the thing you lost from that day?” Lissana asks in the most clueless manner.

She’s no real. None of this is real. How can it be what the outcome’s too perfect?! Well, almost perfect..but how…how did the room manage to do this?! The room, or something else…the Queen!

THIS IS HER AIRY!!! The Queen trapped me in her Airy! If---If I remember correctly, Reese told me to focus. Focus on the destination, I need to focus on nothing else.

My eyes are still closed shut after all that, please Queen let me help you.

“Please Queen, let me take you home. I’m taking you home.”

I open my eyes, and I’m outside the room and inside another. I pray that this isn’t another Airy.