Choosing August

Chapter 4

I worked on my project until I couldn’t force myself through another sentence.

Eventually, I decided a walk might help.

I put in my AirPods, turned on some music, and made a deliberate effort to avoid anything sad. The last thing I needed was some singer dragging me deeper into feelings I was already trying not to have. I found something upbeat instead and headed out.

The campus sat within Talon Lake’s Lakeview area, one of the nicer parts of the community. Down toward the water were piers, restaurants, and a small shopping district everyone called the Dockyards.

It wasn’t really a dockyard.

That was simply the name someone had given the area to make it sound cooler than it was.

There was also a park, and beyond the park were the volleyball courts. The walking paths wound through all of it, circling the lake and connecting the campus to the surrounding neighborhoods.

As I walked, I considered taking up running.

Maybe if I lost some weight, Bryson would notice me more.

That was stupid, considering my body was supposedly one of the things he liked about me. He said he liked that I was soft. He liked grabbing my stomach and feeling the rolls beneath his hands.

I had told him he was weird.

Nobody liked that.

Bryson claimed he did. He said he had no interest in being with a guy who looked exactly like him.

And just like that, he was back in my head.

I shoved the thought away and focused on the lake.

The water was beautiful. Several boats moved across it, and a few yachts sat farther out. As I had already mentioned, Talon Lake had its share of wealth. Not everyone was rich, but there were certainly enough people with money to make themselves visible.

I kept walking.

Then I saw him.

September had brought cooler weather, which meant the guys weren’t running around shirtless as often as they had during the summer. That had always been one of the better things about walking through Lakeview. The area had excellent walking and running paths, and many of the men using them seemed to believe shirts were completely optional.

The volleyball courts were even better.

During the summer, guys filled the sand in short athletic shorts, either shirtless or wearing tank tops that hugged every inch of their chests.

Unfortunately, it was the middle of September now. The temperature had begun to drop, so I wasn’t expecting much.

Then there was Titus.

All the volleyball players were attractive, but Titus stood out among them as easily as ever.

His hair curled slightly across the front of his forehead, framing a strong jawline. He wore a dark tank top that appeared thicker than the usual athletic fabric, almost thermal. Of course he could afford something like that. His family had money.

The shirt left his arms bare.

They were muscular and tan, even this late in the year, probably because he spent nearly every day outside playing volleyball. His chest was broad, although his height kept him from looking bulky. He had the long, lean build of a volleyball player, almost like a swimmer.

He wasn’t wearing shoes.

Even his feet looked good.

How was that fair?

He moved through the sand in a pair of shorts that were, thankfully, short. My imagination was more than willing to supply guesses about what was beneath them.

I had stopped walking.

I was staring.

Move, August.

I forced my feet forward.

For one brief second, I thought Titus had seen me.

Do not look at him.

I kept walking.

Then I heard a voice.

Even through the music in my AirPods, I recognized it.

“Augie? Is that you?”

I turned.

Kelly and Bryson were sitting together on a park bench overlooking the lake.

Bryson gave me an immediate look of alarm, as though I had caught him cheating.

He gave me that look often, which was ridiculous considering I knew he was dating Kelly.

This time, however, I understood exactly what it meant.

He was supposed to be at Kelly’s apartment fixing whatever emergency had pulled him away from my room. Instead, the two of them were sitting beside the lake, enjoying the afternoon together.

“Come join us,” Kelly said. “I haven’t talked to you in ages.”

People rarely told Kelly no.

So I walked over.

I removed my AirPods and put them away. “Hi. I was just taking a walk. I needed a break from my project.”

“Yeah, Bryson said you were working on some communication project.” She smiled at me. “I’m sorry I broke up your hangout. I really needed his help.”

“Did you?”

“The light bulb in my closet went out, and I couldn’t reach it. You know Bryson. He’s tall, and he’s good with all that handyman stuff. A regular jack-of-all-trades.”

I laughed lightly. “Yeah.”

Bryson really wasn’t.

Back in high school, when we had shared a room, he had accidentally broken the sink. I had been the one who figured out how to shut off the water, move the handles, and reinstall everything while he stood nearby being completely useless.

But somehow, he always managed to make things work for Kelly.

I became so lost in the memory that I missed part of what she said next.

“—ice cream. Do you want to join us?”

I blinked. “Do I look like I need it?”

Kelly laughed far too loudly.

“You are a little chubby.”

I looked at Bryson.

He shifted uncomfortably. “Augie’s just a little husky here and there. We can’t all have the same genetics.”

Husky.

Fucking husky.

I stared at him, but he pretended not to notice.

Even his attempt to defend me had somehow made it worse.

“I love that you can make jokes about your weight like that,” Kelly said.

I was far from thrilled, but I went along with it.

“You just have to know yourself, you know?” I said. “Know what you like. Know who you are. Try not to keep secrets from yourself—or anyone else.”

I looked directly at Bryson as I said it.

Kelly missed the point entirely.

“I still think you should come get ice cream with us. You’re walking, after all. We’ll walk there and back, so you can burn off whatever weight you gain.”

“I really should pass.”

“Yeah,” Bryson added quickly. “He’s super busy.”

I shot him another look.

I had nearly changed my mind. I might have accepted the invitation simply so I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the afternoon alone.

Then Kelly leaned against Bryson.

“And I suppose I could let you two go back to your hangout,” she said. “I just enjoy spending so much time with you, Bryce.”

I cringed.

Bryce.

That was what I called him.

He didn’t allow many people to use that name, and now apparently it belonged to her too.

I waited for him to correct her.

He didn’t.

“Yeah,” Bryson said. “We were having fun, but I guess that’s kind of passed.”

“It did,” I said.

I stood abruptly.

“I should go.”

“It was good seeing you,” Kelly said. “We should all hang out sometime. Ice cream or not. Maybe we can find something to do that won’t add any weight to you.”

I forced a smile. “Maybe.”

Bryson made eye contact with me for one brief moment.

If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead beside her.

He glanced away and immediately started talking to Kelly again.

He didn’t even say goodbye.

I walked away.

A few steps down the path, I checked my phone.

Cal was on his date.

There was no point messaging him again.

I had no one to talk to.

I wanted to cry.

I understood that I wasn’t fat, at least not in the way Kelly had made it sound, but my weight was already one of my biggest insecurities. She had a talent for being cruel in a way that made it difficult to call her cruel.

After all, I had made the first joke.

Still, when you’re sitting beside a beautiful, curvy woman while the man you love has his arm around her, it becomes hard not to compare yourself.

Especially when he was supposed to be the one who loved you.

I became so lost in my thoughts that I failed to notice someone walking directly toward me.

I collided with a solid shoulder.

My AirPods fell from my hand and scattered across the path.

“Sorry,” the other person said immediately.

“No, that was me. I wasn’t looking.”

I crouched to pick them up, gathering one and then the other before standing.

When I looked up, I froze.

It was Titus.