Choosing August

Chapter 9

I had been fine.

Or at least I had convinced myself I was.

After walking away from Kelly and Bryson, I decided I would avoid everyone for the rest of the night.

Cal kept trying to make his way back to me, but Cal was popular. Every few feet, someone stopped him. Someone wanted to talk, laugh, catch up, or pull him into another conversation. At one point, Margie tried to reach me too, but she had the same problem. People knew her. People wanted her attention.

So I stayed away.

From across the room, I could see Kelly holding court while Bryson stood beside her looking proud. She laughed, talked, and drew people toward her. He played his part perfectly.

Eventually, I found a place near the edge of the room and settled there, hoping no one would notice me.

Bryson did.

That was when it happened.

A group had started playing some kind of game. Everyone had to say something honest or perform some gesture that proved what they felt. It was similar to truth or dare, only dressed up to seem less like high school.

I didn’t care enough to understand the rules.

Then someone called out, “Bryson, make a romantic gesture toward the person who holds your heart forever and always.”

I stared at him.

Bryson immediately made eye contact with me.

For one impossible second, I believed he might do it.

Maybe this would be the moment he finally told everyone the truth. Maybe those words—the person who holds your heart forever and always—would force him to admit that Kelly wasn’t the one he loved.

He kept staring at me.

Something flashed in his eyes.

Then he turned away.

It was only a game. I shouldn’t have placed so much meaning on it.

But the wording mattered.

Holds your heart forever and always.

A romantic gesture.

Bryson crossed the room to Kelly. He placed his hands on her shoulders, pulled her toward him, and kissed her deeply.

“Mine,” he said when he finally broke the kiss. “Forever and always.”

His eyes found mine again.

Then he looked away.

For a moment, guilt crossed his face.

I had been sitting in the corner, but I rose to my feet.

Bryson glanced toward me and shifted as though he might move in my direction.

I started walking before he could.

“Oh, there’s Augie again,” Kelly called. “Augie should play.”

I kept going.

A hand caught my shoulder.

I turned.

Bryson stood behind me.

“What do you want?”

“I’m checking on you,” he whispered.

“Okay. And?”

“Come on, Augie. You knew I had to.”

“No, you didn’t.” I pulled away from his hand. “And I shouldn’t have witnessed that. I shouldn’t even be here.”

“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t.”

I glared at him.

“Right. I should stay in my room waiting for you to come by whenever you finally have time for me. Waiting for anyone to have time for me.” My voice grew tighter. “Cal has a girlfriend. He doesn’t have time for me either.”

Bryson’s expression changed. He was about to argue that I didn’t need to be with Cal anyway, but I cut him off before he could say it.

“And you have a girlfriend.”

“I do.”

I stared at him.

“Okay, then.”

“Keep your voice down,” he said. “You’re making a scene. You understand why I had to say that. She would’ve gotten upset if I hadn’t.”

“Of course. We can’t upset Kelly.” I laughed bitterly. “It’s perfectly fine to upset me, but we can’t upset her.”

“Augie, come on. You know I’m always going to choose you.”

“You haven’t chosen me in a long time, Bryce. Do you realize that?”

He went still.

“Every time she calls, you answer. You never tell her no. I’m constantly on hold, waiting for whatever time she leaves behind. Then I had to stand there and watch that tonight.”

“It was a stupid game.”

“Yes, it was. It still hurt.”

“You’re my one and only.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

I turned away, but he reached for me again.

“Please, don’t.”

“Augie—”

Kelly’s voice cut across the room.

“Bryce?”

I looked at him. “Go.”

“Bryce?” she called again.

He glanced toward her.

“Your husky old best friend needs to leave,” I said.

I emphasized his name when I continued.

“Bryce, you’re needed. Why don’t you go kiss her again? I’ll take my fat self somewhere else.”

“Stop.”

“I understand what you did. You understand too. What you did earlier was already bad enough, and then you did this.”

“Bryce!”

“I’m leaving.”

“We aren’t done with this conversation.”

“I think we are.”

I walked away.

When I looked back, Bryson was walking in the opposite direction.

He didn’t turn around.

Kelly caught my gaze for a moment. She looked confused by the way I watched him leave. Then she wrapped her arms around him again and returned to whatever performance they were giving everyone.

I went looking for another drink.

Instead, I found the private dock behind the house. It stretched away from the family’s property and out over the dark water, separated from the larger gathering by the slope of the yard.

I sat on the steps leading down to it.

Before I realized what was happening, I was crying.

Maybe it was the alcohol.

Maybe it was everything that had happened that night.

Maybe it was every Friday I had waited for Bryson, every call from Kelly, every promise that eventually things would change.

Whatever it was, I was done.