My Vampire Boyfriend

Chapter 10: The Parrot

When they returned home, Ethan was busy once again.

He went from porter to handyman to makeshift housekeeper without a moment’s rest—all because of a certain impossibly difficult houseguest.

His own bedroom contained only a simple set of table and chairs. The spare room held some leftover furniture from the landlord, but Lucien took one glance and dismissed it as dirty and old-fashioned, promptly claiming Ethan’s better set for himself.

The old table and chairs could be used after a quick wipe, and Ethan wasn’t the sort to fuss over such things anyway. Besides, if he did argue, Lucien would probably curse all the way until bedtime, then start up again the next morning, repeating the same words like a broken record.

So Ethan let him have it—better that than wear calluses on his eardrums.

Not knowing what kind of games vampires found entertaining, he downloaded a simple match-three game to occupy Lucien, intending to clean up the place. He had just turned to go when Lucien called out:

“You’re tricking me! This game is boring. There are no ghosts chasing me!”

Ethan fell silent.

Lucien had cleared the first level easily, but without the thrill of victory or competition, he found it dull beyond belief. Soon enough, he decided he wanted to play on the computer instead.

Slamming the phone down, he pounded the table and commanded, “Move all your stuff off my desk. Everything on it belongs to me now.”

Ethan stared at the audacious little vampire, whose impatience resembled a monkey desperate for its next fix. The sight made him want to tease him.

“Your desk?” he asked mildly. “Does it have your name carved on it?”

“…” Lucien shot back instantly, “You said I could use it. That means it’s mine!”

Ethan replied calmly, “Exactly—you can use it. I never said I was giving it to you.”

Lucien’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“The right to use it is yours,” Ethan continued, “but ownership remains mine. That makes it still my desk.”

Lucien’s head was spinning. “You… you’re such a sly—”

“Mm,” Ethan interrupted smoothly, “such a sly human.”

“You i***t!” Lucien shot to his feet, furious. “You’re a sly i***t! Always tricking me!”

Ethan watched him, chest heaving in anger, breath coming fast. Amusement flickered in his eyes as he added cruelly, “What benefit do I get from tricking you? You’re just too stupid to understand human speech.”

“You—!” Lucien lunged, grabbing Ethan’s collar and snapping, “You’re full of s**t!” He swung his fist, only for Ethan to block it effortlessly and catch his hand.

A new curse word—Ethan couldn’t help but be impressed. Lucien’s glare was fierce, but his delicate features softened the expression, making him look less threatening and more like a puppy baring its teeth in protest.

Ethan released his hand. “Alright, enough. I’m done teasing you.”

Lucien’s eyes gleamed with cold warning. “I could kill you right now.”

Ethan had spent days running errands for him, spending tens of thousands, putting up with endless arrogance and temper tantrums.

If he ignored Lucien, the vampire would literally tear the roof off the house.

If he tried to intervene, he’d be threatened or attacked.

Ethan had no desire to play the father figure here—but dealing with a non-human made communication an entirely different ordeal.

So he decided to reason with him, using simple words a “stupid vampire” could grasp.

Once the door was closed, Ethan spoke plainly. “Lucien, I know you could easily kill me—but you haven’t. That means, deep down, you don’t actually want to.”

Lucien pressed his lips together and stared at him intently.

“Humans value honesty,” Ethan continued. “It’s part of responsibility. We must stand by our words and actions. For instance, I’ve kept every promise I made to you. But what about you? Have you kept yours?”

Lucien said nothing.

“Or is it that vampires know nothing of honesty or responsibility?” Ethan went on, his tone cutting. “You do whatever you want—barge into my house, eat and take whatever you please, and bully this fragile human host of yours.”

Lucien’s thoughts faltered as he tried to recall what promises he might have broken. The proud vampire inside him was quickly roused by Ethan’s provocation.

“What nonsense! You understand nothing!” Lucien snapped. “We vampires do keep our word—that’s why we haven’t destroyed humanity! If we wished, everything in this world would belong to the mighty Blood Clan! How dare you call me a ban—mmph!”

Luckily, Ethan was quick to cover his mouth. He couldn’t handle another one of Lucien’s grandiose speeches.

He knew exactly what the vampire was trying to say—that it was blasphemy to call the noble Prince Anthony a bandit.

“Mmph—mmph!” Lucien struggled furiously, twisting against Ethan’s grip but unable to break free. The moment reminded him of the first time this infuriating human had pinned him down.

“Stay quiet and I’ll let go,” Ethan whispered. “I already know how powerful vampires are—the universe practically belongs to you. We humans don’t fight you… mostly because we can’t win.”

With that, he released him.

He’d thought this flattery might please the i***t vampire, but Lucien immediately swung a punch at him, glaring with righteous indignation.

“I tolerate you because you’re weak,” he declared. “But you keep bullying me!”

Ethan nearly laughed. The fool not only played the victim but also managed to sound superior while doing it. “And how exactly have I bullied you?” he asked.

“You don’t let me breathe! You don’t let me talk!” Lucien shouted.

“Your voice is too loud,” Ethan replied coolly. “Ryan’s downstairs. You want him to find out that the noble Prince Anthony of the Blood Clan is living here?”

Lucien fell silent.

“There,” Ethan said. “You can talk now—just keep it down.”

Lucien muttered under his breath, “You didn’t let me breathe, you keep tricking me, the game you downloaded sucks, and the desk you gave me is mine.”

Petulant as ever. The fool was hopelessly easy to tease.

Ethan decided to stop toying with him. “Alright,” he said, “I’ll find better games for you later and download a few. As for this table and chair—fine. They’re yours now. Ownership and all.”

Lucien scoffed, “You’re too cunning.”

Another scowl. Ethan met his eyes without blinking, his gaze direct and unguarded—half a challenge, half an unspoken jest.

On impulse, he said, “So what do you want me to do—carve your name into the desk? ‘The Noble Prince Anthony’?”

Lucien thought for a moment. “Not enough. You have to carve my current name, too.”

Ethan sighed. “…”

“Hurry up,” Lucien urged. “Don’t waste my time.”

At that moment, Ethan realized childishness might be contagious—how else could he be humoring a vampire like this?

Still, he took out his pocket knife and began etching the names deeply into the wood, stroke by stroke.

Lu Xun once carved the word “early” into his desk as a reminder never to be late. Ethan, on the other hand, carved a vampire’s name into his just to transfer ownership.

How utterly juvenile.

“The chair too,” Lucien added. “It’s mine. Carve it.”

Ethan said nothing.

Just then, Ryan opened the door—and froze.

His two roommates were squatting side by side in front of a computer chair, their heads nearly touching as they worked on something. Whatever they were doing, it didn’t look like fixing furniture.

“Hey—what are you two doing?”

Startled by Ryan’s booming voice, Ethan’s hand slipped, the sharp blade nicking his fingertip. A thin line of blood welled up.

He didn’t think much of it—until Lucien suddenly grabbed his hand. Before Ethan could react, his finger was enveloped in warmth, something soft and hot brushing over the wound, followed by the unmistakable sensation of being sucked.

After five days without tasting fresh, sweet human blood, Lucien was both delighted and unsatisfied. The taste was exquisite, but the amount too little. He sucked greedily, drawing a few more drops with audible relish.

“Whoa—” Ryan gawked. “When did you two get so close?”

Ethan yanked his hand back immediately. Seeing Lucien’s eyes still full of longing, he pulled him to his feet. “Didn’t you want to play games? Go set up the computer and peripherals.”

With another human present, Lucien had no choice but to obey, sulking as he dismantled the equipment.

He hadn’t forgotten how Ryan had mocked him on the mountain, and he still meant to settle that score. Unlike Ethan, Ryan wouldn’t earn his forgiveness so easily.

“Ryan,” Ethan said, “I’ll clean the desk in that room. You move my computer and other stuff over.”

“Sure thing,” Ryan agreed. Rolling up his sleeves, he noticed Lucien’s sleek gaming laptop and whistled. “Damn, that’s expensive! Lucien, you really splurged, huh?”

“Expensive?” Lucien asked. “Is it supposed to be?”

“Of course it is!” Ryan exclaimed. “My old laptop cost just a few thousand. This one’s worth a fortune! Lend it to me sometime?”

Lucien’s expression brightened with smug satisfaction. He brushed Ryan’s hand away. “No. Ethan gave it to me.”

Ryan blinked. “Huh?”

Lucien continued proudly, “He also bought me a new phone—costs more than your laptop—and a keyboard, mouse, this desk and chair, all gifts from him.”

Ryan’s jaw dropped. “What??”

Lucien added with relish, “He gives things only to me. Not to you.”

Ryan stared at him. “I never asked for anything! What are you even talking about?”

Lucien tilted his chin arrogantly. “If you want to use my computer, you must apologize and give me your game account. Then I’ll forgive you.”

Ryan exploded. “My account? Are you insane? I’ve spent years on that thing—skins, battle passes, money! I came here to make sure you weren’t causing trouble, and this is how you thank me?”

Lucien snapped, “You’re the one talking nonsense!”

Ryan shot back, “You just parrot what I say—what were you, a parrot in your past life?”

Lucien retorted instantly, “And you were an i***t!”

Ethan had barely started wiping the table when shouting erupted from the next room. He set the cloth aside with a sigh and went to intervene—only for Ryan to grab his arm, demanding judgment, while Lucien clung to him, demanding game skins.

Ryan shouted, “Ethan, tell me—what is Lucien’s problem?”

Lucien insisted, “I want all his skins! Buy them for me!”

Ryan yelled, “Why should he? You think my brother’s a walking wallet?”

Lucien turned to Ethan, eyes blazing. “Will you buy them for me or not?”

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is my house. One more word out of either of you, and both of you—out.”