The Drowned Fear No Sea

6

Cael didn’t want to abandon the boat. But the hole was too big, and the motor wasn’t worth the time it would take to remove it. So Zen simply watched as the craft slowly sank beneath the surface — like saying goodbye. Then he went to inspect the gang’s cruiser.

The vessel hadn’t belonged to them for long. Maybe that’s why the alpha had stayed behind earlier — a boat like this wasn’t easy to get.

Cael gave a crooked grin at the realization: beneath the crudely painted gang symbol, he found a naval serial number. Some bastard from the military command had sold a speedboat to an infected alpha. And everyone in the upper city’s security forces knew that noseless freak’s face. The guy hadn’t even bothered to hide — no mask, no shame. Then again, there was no one left to hunt down swamp packs except the last surviving cleaner — Zen himself.

Cael leaned over the side and scrubbed the gang mark away with white spirit (someone had conveniently left a bottle on deck). The navy number gleamed like new. Soon someone in the “fleet” would be in deep s**t — supplying criminals with government vessels while the rest of the population was barely holding out against feral gangs.

“I found food and alcohol!” Ray’s cheerful shout yanked Zen out of his bitter thoughts.

“Yeah? You’ll get drunk again and try to climb on me?” he shot back loudly, flinging the filthy rag aside and heading back toward the stern.

His little goat looked offended. He frowned adorably and pressed his lips together. He was also shivering from the cold. Cael swallowed dryly when he noticed how the wet sweater clung to his slim body.

“I thought you’d want to… disinfect,” Ray mumbled softly. “You fought that alpha.”

Cael clenched his jaw and tried to push the pair-bond euphoria away. It bloomed in his chest like poison, making it hard to think. Instinct whispered that his pair was caring for him. Damn hormones didn’t care that Ray only wanted to avoid infection after touching him — beta concern, nothing more.

Forcing logic to win over instinct, Cael stripped down to the waist. Ray stared, wide-eyed, as he reminded the beast inside him: He isn’t your pair. A real pair wouldn’t have left when told. That sick alpha leader must’ve smelled Cael’s scent on Ray — the look on the bastard’s face when the little goat bolted had been priceless.

He’s not an omega. Not a pair. The hormones didn’t care, but the euphoria faded slightly.

“Open the alcohol,” Zen ordered sharply. Ray was staring at him like he’d never seen a man before — let alone an alpha. As if he hadn’t just watched one of them tear his friend apart.

Zen snapped his fingers to get his attention. Ray dropped the rations, fumbling as he unscrewed the cap of a huge bottle labeled Alcohol.

“Pour some on my hands,” he instructed. Ray obeyed quickly. “Syphilis spreads from alphas during s*x. Easier from omegas. Consider yourself lucky.”

He washed his face and scrubbed his arms up to the elbows under Ray’s watchful gaze — like a surgeon preparing for an operation.

“If you start fearing me, if I smell fear on you, that could trigger rut,” Zen said with a crooked smirk, lifting his hands. “And we don’t need that right now. I’m sterile, happy now, little goat?”

“f**k you, Cael!” Ray hissed and hurled the bottle at him. Cael caught it easily.

“Now wipe yourself down completely — don’t get sick,” he tossed it back, “get dressed and go to the bow with the food.”

Cael left his wet clothes on deck. He grabbed his cloak and went to the cabin — to figure out the controls and dry it off. Later he’d wrap Ray in it so he wouldn’t freeze.

The engine was in perfect condition, and there was plenty of fuel. But Zen was still furious. At that military bastard profiting off misery. At himself — for holding out nearly thirty years without losing control during rut because of a woman, only to be on the edge now because of a beta boy. And at him — that damned little goat Ray — for crossing his path at all.

Then a darker thought hit him: he might not have made it in time. Because he’d waited for the alpha, that blonde had died — horribly, in agony. And if they’d taken Ray instead…

Cael growled and gripped the wheel until the wood cracked.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ray tried to sound brave but couldn’t hide his fear.

“Come here,” Zen said, extending his hand back without turning. He was trying — again — to get his emotions under control. Ray came closer, and Zen pulled him in so suddenly that he yelped.

“Shh…” He rested his chin on Ray’s crown. One arm still around him, he restarted the motor and guided the boat out of the narrow alley. His little goat was alive, whole, warm. The haze of rage cleared, and Cael found his voice again.

“How did you end up with the gang?” he asked, releasing him slightly.

But Ray didn’t move away. He just turned his back and leaned against him. “It’s warmer this way,” he muttered, tearing open a vacuum-sealed ration pack. Without looking, he shoved a protein bar at Cael, who ate it in two bites and even licked his fingers.

Ray chewed his slowly before answering. “Jess and I were partners. We dove for refugee belongings together. Bought a cheap diving suit off a black-market military trader, took odd jobs. Jess…”

He tilted his head back, eyes closed, rubbing the back of his head against Cael’s chest, breathing deeply. “Jess loved people. Said he pitied men — that they were slaves to their animal nature…”

“Alphas?” Cael asked hoarsely, trying to shift so Ray wouldn’t feel the hardness pressing against him.

“No,” Ray said bitterly. “Betas. Jess was just… kind. Generous. He shared his body without asking for anything back.”

His voice trembled with tears, and Cael, cursing the obvious, pulled him tightly against his chest.

“One of his partners was from a pack — like the ones you call them,” Ray continued, quieter now. “He complained that the leader didn’t let them screw properly, said he was a tyrant. Told Jess there was a great job — deep dive, sleeping district, something hidden in a flat that belonged to the leader. Promised it’d be his last job…”

He stopped, sniffled, went silent.

Zen switched the boat to autopilot — they were gliding above what used to be the ring road. Buildings flickered distantly on the left. He wrapped his arms around Ray, pressing his lips to his hair.

“I was angry at myself, Ray. I saw the gang come back. I knew what they’d brought. But I waited for the alpha…” He trailed off, shame burning him from the inside out. “If I’d gone sooner, maybe I could’ve saved your friend. But what kills me is knowing they could’ve taken you first.”

“Jess was beautiful,” Ray said with a wry little laugh. “Unlike me. I’m just some scrawny rat.”

“You saying I’ve got bad taste in people?” Cael tried to joke, desperate not to sound pathetic. To him, there was no one more beautiful or more real than Ray — but saying it out loud would only remind him he was half-beast.

Ray’s dry, bitter tone confirmed his fear. “I don’t get why you’re even bothering with me. Everything I know about alphas says they only want omegas. Betas are just… entertainment. An alpha can only imprint with an omega.”

Ray turned to face him, eyes bright with unshed tears. “Alpha Cael Zen, tell me why I’m even here.”

“You’re beautiful,” Cael said simply. “You smell so good it drives me insane. I like you, even if I strip away everything I can’t control. I’d have asked you to the movies. Held your soda. Licked the salt off your fingers from the popcorn. I’m not much good at kissing, but I’d have tried.”

Ray stared at him, stunned. Cael didn’t see any reason to hide the truth. If he weren’t an alpha, he’d have courted him. Tried to make him laugh, impress him, look smart and mysterious. If he’d been born a beta, they might’ve had a chance.

“We’re here, little goat,” Zen said at last, forcing a grin. “There’s a cloak in the corner — wrap up in it and stay put.”

He bent down and kissed his forehead before steering the boat toward a pontoon checkpoint. He spotted movement ahead and pulled back immediately.

“Don’t cut the engine, beta. If something goes wrong, hit reverse and get the hell out. Got it?”