Snowbound With The Hockey Star

Chapter 13

The wooden door finally clicked shut behind us. It shut out the cold air that was outside. The warm, cozy air inside the small cabin was a relief.

Luca was carrying Leon. The little boy was fast asleep with his head rested perfectly on Luca’s shoulder. His cheeks were bright red from the cold. His eyelashes were wet with melted snow.

“I’ll take him,” Luca whispered. His voice was a little rough. He started to walk towards the bed room but I stopped him. “Wait. You can’t just put him in bed like that. He’s very cold and wet. He could get really sick.”

Luca looked down at Leon then looked back at me, his eyebrows pulled together. “He’s a strong kid, Ava. He’ll be okay.”

“No, he won’t,” I said “He needs a hot bath. Right now. Before all that cold really gets into him.”

He sighed, but he nodded, he carried Leon to the bathroom. It took a little bit of gentle shaking and soft talking to wake the little guy up. Leon made a sleepy noise. His eyes blinked open. He looked confused and sleepy as the warm steam from the running water filled the air.

While Luca helped Leon get into the bath, I started to fold the blankets we used earlier. My heart felt full. I felt good about the day we had spent together. It was a simple day but it was the first time I felt like I was really living a day. Not just pretending.

When Leon was clean and wrapped in a big towel, and tucked into bed, the cabin became quiet again. The only sound was the gentle crackling of the fire. Luca had already made the fire bigger in the living area.

I walked out, feeling tired but calm. Luca was sitting in the only armchair by the fire. He looked up when I came in. He was holding a mug of hot chocolate.

“Thought you might need this,” he said quietly. He pointed to another mug on the small wooden table next to him.

I picked up the mug. The warmth immediately felt good in my hands. It was thick, creamy hot chocolate. It tasted like pure comfort. I sat down in the chair across from him. We didn’t talk for a few minutes. We just listened to the fire.

Luca was the first one to speak again.

“That,” he said. He looked at the glowing red embers in the fire. “That was definitely the best Christmas Leon has had in years. Maybe ever.”

A deep, new warmth spread through my chest. Best Christmas. l helped make that happen.

I took a sip of the hot chocolate. I tried to sound normal, but my voice shook a little. “Is… is that because of me?”

He finally looked away from the fire and looked right at me. His eyes were serious. Those light blue eyes that always seemed to see too much.

“Don’t push it, Ava,” he said putting the walls between us yet again.

That hurt. It hit me right in the chest.

He seemed to notice the sadness on my face. Almost right away, his voice softened a little.

“ deep down,” he admitted slowly, “I think you’re a good person. You just hide it under a lot of money and bad manners.”

I swallowed hard. “You should meet me when I’m at home, Luca,” I said. “I’m not like this at home. This is… this is fake. This is what I have to be.”

He shook his head slowly. “You don’t think you’re as good as you are. You always think the worst about yourself. Or maybe you want me to think the worst. I’m sure you’re not like your father made you to be. You were worried about Leon getting sick. A truly cold person wouldn’t do that.”

My throat felt tight. It was the first time anyone had ever thought that maybe I wasn’t just my mistakes or what people called me.

“I’ve never really gotten to live life, Luca,” I admitted. The words came out before I could stop them. They felt rough and heavy. “Do what other people do. I always tried to make my father happy. To be the perfect daughter. I worked so hard for it. But none of that made him love me. Ever.”

He leaned forward. He looked truly worried. “I don’t think there’s a father who could hate his own child, Ava.”

I laughed but it was a short, sharp, unhappy sound.

“You say that because you’re a really good father, Luca. And I’m sure your parents are very good. But you don’t know the real world outside of this perfect cabin. Not everything is as good as it looks, Luca. When people see me, they see someone who gets what she wants, when she wants it. And I do get it. Fancy cars, expensive clothes, anything money can buy. But the only thing I ever wanted was my father’s real love. And I never got that.”

I stopped. I realized how much I had just told him. I took a deep breath.

“Please don’t think I’m a good person, though. I’m not,” I insisted. I wanted him to see my bad points clearly. “But you… you are the perfect dad. You do anything and everything for your son. You’re a good person who took in a stranger and gave her everything she needed. So, to me, you’re almost perfect.”

He looked away right away. He stared down at his mug. He shifted uncomfortably. The compliment seemed to make him smaller, not prouder.

“I’m not perfect, Ava. Not even close,” he mumbled. “The truth is, I was actually suspended"

“Why? What happened?”

He hesitated. “One of my teammates… he said I was in love with a ghost, said it wasn’t healthy. Said she was just a memory, and I needed to move on.”

His jaw tightened. The usual kindness in his eyes turned hard, like he was in pain and angry.

“I just… lost it,” he finished. His voice was dangerously low. “I can’t hear anything bad about Clara. Even though she’s gone.”

The warmth I felt from the hot chocolate suddenly disappeared. A terrible, cold, sinking feeling started in my stomach and spread quickly through my body.

He can’t hear anything bad about her.

Hearing him say that, his face showing such strong, never-ending love for his dead wife, broke my heart into tiny pieces. Because I knew, with a sickening certainty, that I was starting to fall for him. I was falling for this hockey player who loved a woman who was no longer alive with all his heart.

It was awful. It was heartbreaking.

I quickly pushed my feelings down. I forced my voice to sound steady. “If anyone loved me even a little bit as much as you seem to love Clara, Luca, maybe my life wouldn’t be so bad.” I managed a weak smile. “But not everyone can be as lucky as Clara.”

I looked down at the fire. I couldn’t look at him anymore.

“Me, on the other hand,” I said, “I have a fiancé who doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with cheating on me. He didn’t even say sorry when I found out.” The words sounded flat. They carried the weight of my unhappy life. “And the worst part is, when I leave here, I’ll have to marry him.”