His Regret: Taming My Ex-Husband

Chapter Four

Amelia’s POV

Lora heaved a deep sigh, “Amelia, there is something you should know first.” Lora said calmly, her voice intensifying the tension in the room.

She drummed her fingers on the other, as though calculating the weight of what she was about to say.

With my eyes widened in confusion, I stared at her awaiting whatever it is she had to say. “Lora, what’s wrong?” I asked, bringing out the note from my purse and holding on to it as if the content of the note would somehow serve as a guide.

Lora took in a deep breath as she gestured towards me to sit beside her.

“The thing is that… I… I held this back because I wasn't sure if you were ready. But I think you should know it all now. I mean, what’s the point in holding back. So before you make any decision right now, you should know that your mother…. She… she passed away last night.”

The words came flying like a slap to the face. I felt like my heart beat pause for a moment, the room appeared to be spinning around me.

I held on to the edge of the bed for support as my body was trembling profusely.

My body found it hard to comprehend what Lora had just said. Recalling her words caused a sharp piercing pain in my chest, before I could process anything further, my eyes were heavy with tears.

I felt so empty and crushed. The betrayal left a big hole in my heart and now this too. Mum was gone.

Yes, she abandoned me when I needed her the most but she finally acknowledged my worth and wanted me back but death— death couldn't spare her. I wasn't even given a chance to see her and forgive her for good.

I let out a raw, glottal scream which echoed all over the room. I felt torn on the inside and that scream was my way of expression.

My heart yawned for the woman I never really understood yet accepted because she was the woman who birth me. Earlier, I had a desperate feeling to go see that woman, but it was all too late already. Mom already left without a final goodbye.

Why is everything happening to me at once?

Lora’s arm wrapped around me from behind; pulling me into her warm embrace as I collapsed into her.

“Amelia, I am deeply sorry.” Lora whispered into my ears.

“I know this is all too much for you to bear. Right now, I wish I'd told you about her death sooner. I just didn't want to overwhelm you that was why I kept it away from you. Please calm down Amelia, Breath; just breathe, you will be fine. You are not alone in this.”

I nodded, allowing the tears to freely roll down my face.”Lora, I wanted to hate her for life.” I sobbed, my body shaking with grief.

“I ready wanted to hold on to that anger and remain mad at her for everything she made me gk through alone. But now, she's no more. And I don't know what to feel anymore. Am I a terrible person?”

Lora held me even more tighter. “You are not a terrible person Amelia. Never think that. You are one of the sweetest souls I've met. Listen, its okay to overthink right now. Its okay to feel overwhelmed and lost but don't get consumed by it. Don't get consumed by grief. Don't let those bad memories be the only thing you remember about your mother.”

With the aid of my palm, I wiped away my tears and pulled back slightly. Trying to hold down my emotion and get control over them. “I don't know if I can ever forgive her. I really don't know. But,”

Lora pressed her finger against my lips before I could finish up my sentence. “Don’t be hard on yourself. It is a gradual process and you don't have to forgive her now and maybe never. It all depends. But for now, you have to find peace Amelia. Peace to survive this storm.”

I looked down at the letter on my hand, my eyes swollen and my mouth parted, gasping for air.

“I wanted to go fix things. But now, I never got a chance to do that. I really wanted to fix things with her, Lora.”

Lora’s eyes brightened, she gave out a little smile though sad but broad. “Fixing things is not the crucial part right now. Whats important is you moving on and finding a way forward to be at peace with yourself, no matter the pain it’ll cost you.”

I nodded slowly, despite still buried in doubt. But some of Lora’s words began to sink.

For a moment, I felt a glimpse of hope—- one that I could eventually find peace and happiness. But for now, sitting with this pain to feel its weight was the easy option for me. I'd lean on Lora while doing that. She was the only backbone i’d ever had.

Days turned into weeks and my head was still aching until it all faded; replaced by a dull constant ache which reminded me that I was still very far from okay.

I no longer felt safe being around the hospital, it'd become a place of my break down, a place where the reality of my physical and emotional pain would come clashind down all on me. Staying here wasn't the best option.

The doctor said i’d be discharged in two days time. I’d been anticipating that day.

On that day, Lora arrived to take me away with her. I felt a mixture of relieft and uncertainty. Lora had arrived early. She'd always been there for me, taking each step with me and guiding me. A constant presence in the midst of my chaos.

She helped my father my things and we headed towards the door. On arriving there, I felt a deep sense of vulnerability. I wasn't quite sure what the next steps were, But I was greatful to have her by my side.

Arriving at the car park, we got in. I sank into the seat, my head leaned back, heaving a deep sigh of relief.

Lora started the car and we hit the road immediately. The ride was going smooth and silent. Her gaze never left the road. I knew she had something going up there in her head. She was obviously thinking about something.

“Amelia,” She called out to me, after a few moment of silence. “I have one question for you.” she paused, giving me a quick stare. “Amelia, Are you really done with Tom?”

The question was unexpected so it caught me off guard. I was silent for a momet, I didn't know how to respond to her question. I didn't want to make him a topic. But the question didn't sound like something I could just wave off. So I had to face it even if I wasn't ready to.

I gathered my thoughts and turned towards her, my eye bags hollow with the weight of the agony of the past few weeks.

Clearing my throat softly, I replied. “Yes I am, Lora.” my voiced was soft but firm and steady. “I'm done with him. It’s over. I already signed the divorce papers.”

The words were heavy to let out, but I just had to.