For Better Or For Worse (Sashay)

Chapter Two

S A S H A

I feel like s**t.

My Mom told me that there was a special dinner tonight and she said it will be fun. She said she invited a few people that will surely make me smile. I hope she's right.

I make my way to the bathroom to shower when a pair of muscled masculine arms wrap around my waist.

"Where are you going, hon?"

Hon. Not babe. I had to remind myself that I was with Hudson now. He makes me happy. At least, I think I'm happy. No more Shay by my side, who's constantly anmoying my s**t out. I was with Hudson who can make me feel like a real woman. But I was without Avery and Ashley.

I remember the time when they can barely talk. Shay brought us to Disneyland for the twins' first birthday, we'll stay on this expensive hotel for almost a week then we went to Warner Bros. Studio for our anniversary..

We were inside a restaurant for lunch in the Studio when Shay started staring at me weirdly.

"Babe, what're you thinking about?" I asked Shay.

She stared at me like I was the most precious pearl in the world and replied. "I feel like I'm living a dream. I mean, who wouldn't feel like it? I have two amazing kids and I know they will continue being amazing through the years and this beautiful wife who I never thought of spending my forever with."

I held her hand and stared at her too. Ocean blue meets dark hazel. The world could've just exploded right then and there but only my heart did. I couldn't believe it either. I love her so much.

But there was no turning back now. I'm standing here on a house that's not ours, with arms around me that's not Shay's. I made my decision and I won't sacrifice my pride when I found out that living without them is hell. I guess I don't need to leave maybe I just needed a break from them, but I made a huge mistake. It was too late.

"My Mom told me to come over for dinner later at eight and I have to go to the store to pick up some things she told me to buy. And she specifically told me to come earlier to help her cook." I said facing him.

"Oh, well couldn't we tag along? It is a dinner for you." Hudson replied, nuzzling my nose.

"I don't know. Mom mentioned I shouldn't bring anyone else and just the groceries." I hesitated.

"What could go wrong? It's a family dinner and we are your family now. Aren't we?"

"Yeah. Of course. I'm going to take a shower now." I said, smiling.

"You sure you don't want me to join you?"

"Not now."

He kissed me gently and softly before leaving me to do my business. His kisses weren't bad but they weren't the best. I'll always remember the person who could give them.

We were at the library and my character, Alison has this gay love affair with one of the liars, Emily portrayed by Shay Mitchell who was a good eight years older than me. A few minutes later, the scene started and I was sitting on the floor with a book on my lap, giggling softly.

"What's so funny?" Shay appeared out of nowhere, portraying her character well.

"Their names." I breathed. "Pip, Mr. Wopsle, Uncle Pumblechuck. They all sound like stuffed animals."

"I can't believe you already finished it."

"Want me to tell you what happens? I can make you a cheat sheet." I asked. I twirled some of hair in my fingers. "You know you should really let me braid your hair sometime."

She said something about a Jenna character and I stopped her saying we shouldn't keep thinking about her but she told me that in her dream, Jenna wasn't blind and that she forgave us.

"That's why I love you. You're big on happy endings."

We both smiled.

"So is Dickens by the way. Pip gets Estella in the end. Can I read you something?"

She nods and I continue.

"I loved her against reason. Against promise, against peace. Against hope, against happiness. Against all discouragement that could be."

She was smiling at me and I knew she felt the same chemistry I was feeling.

"Did you get to that part yet?"

She nods and leans in. I was waiting for this kiss so bad that I also leaned in a little. I smiled.

I knew I fell in love with her the moment our lips touched even though it was scripted and I was only thirteen. I snapped out of my trance and got dressed in a pair of blue jeans, white shirt and red Vans. I took a black hoodie from the coat rack and called Hudson.

He appeared out of the kitchen with Lady and Levi on a leash and I tensed up. I hate seeing those dogs after what they did to Ashley but I had no choice but to live with them.

"They're coming too?" I asked.

"Yeah. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Uh. No, you know what? Let's just leave."

I started walking out of the door and got into Hudson's black SUV's passenger seat, he came a few minutes later with the dogs and he shoved them into the back seat. He got on and turned the ignition. I got a bad feeling about this and I don't like feeling this way.

"Hon, I'll just wait for you here. I can't leave Lady and Levi together for a long time."

I nodded. I don't want him to come with me either.

I bought lots of ground meat, chocolate and Alfredo sauce. It was kinda weird. My Mom doesn't cook those dishes by herself, she makes them with Shay's Dad, mine and Sam. Couldn't be possible she'd make them now because the Alfredo is Earl's (Shay's father) own recipe.

We used to have long drives just to visit my mom and dad and she would sing our songs while driving. Avery and Ashley who just started talking would join her and we would laugh everytime Shay would forget a line or if the kids sneezed while singing. All of that just to get a taste of the Pieterse's homemade chocolate cake.

We drove to the Pieterse residence on a two hour drive. Hudson parked his SUV on the curb and I pressed the doorbell with the groceries on my hands and Hudson was waiting behind me with Lady and Levi.

My Mom beamed when she saw me but her smile vanished as soon as she noticed Hudson. Her eyes widened in panic but she forced a smile back again to be polite.

"Sasha, Hudson. Uh...you're both here. Come in, come in." She ushered.

She dragged Hudson to the kitchen to "help" and pulled me into the family room.

"Why did you bring them here? I told you to not bring anyone else." Mom hissed.

"What was I supposed to do? He was guilt tripping me because he wasn't invited to family celebrations. Should I just be a rock? Besides, what could go wrong?"

"Susan, let's cook that Alfredo and meatballs."

I'd know that voice anywhere.

Earl.

He appeared from one of the guest bedrooms and smiled when he saw me. So he's the guest Mom was talking about. He gestured for us to join him in the kitchen

"How's it going, Sasha? Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Perfectly fine." I breathed nervously.

Earl knows about the divorce but he doesn't know it was because of a guy. He thought we just couldn't handle the stress from our work and decided to just be friends.

I heard the front door swing open and a blonde little girl with pigtails came in. "Mamu! I can smell the chocolate a mile away!" She bounced happily up and down until she saw me. Her grin dropped and she tensed up.

"Ashley! Where's your Mom?" Earl asked.

But my daughter didn't reply.

"Ashley, get out of the way! You're blocking Mr. Awesome Pants!"

Then I heard sweet laughter from a woman standing behind Ashley. She picked my daughter up and swung her to her right hip with a tanned boy peeking on the door, giggling at his sister's weirdness.

"Sa-Sash...a." Ashley stuttered.

Shay's beautiful smile was gone the moment she stepped inside the family room. Avery even scowled.

"Ma, you set us up?" Shay asked my Mom.

"Shay, I didn't mean to, I swear." She was stumbling on words.

"I can't believe you. And Dad? You're in on this? How long have you planned this out?" Shay accused.

"Shay, just shut up. Just eat dinner like you never saw me and forget I even existed." I blurt.

"I agreed to this because you two obviously needed some glue to fix every-" Earl was cut off by someone from the kitchen.

"Hon, are we going to cook or something?" Hudson asked, stepping into the family room.

Sam came out too and took Avery and Ashley to the guest room Earl previously occupied.

"I can't do this. This is impossible. You all just expect us to meet up and everything will be okay?! Well wake up, people! It's obviously not! I'm taking my kids home. I can't believe any of you. And seriously, Sasha? You would bring your boyfriend and dogs here? Are you out of respect?! Dad, out of all people who would do this, I never expected you! Why are you all making our lives miserable?!"

Shay practically exploded.

"Shay, they're trying to keep this family together! Don't you appreciate their effort?! They worked hard for this! They're probably tired and you blow s**t up like that?!" I piped up.

"So it comes down to this?! You're blaming me?! You know what? This is all your fault, you slut! We wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for you!"

"Me?! Seriously, Shay?! You were the one who cut me off of everything! You wouldn't even let me talk to my friends! You took my phone away and you stopped my contact with the kids! If it wasn't for your overprotectiveness we weren't be here!"

Shay's face suddenly became lighter and filled with amusement. "When did I start doing that? Tell them Sasha. When? Oh, I know! The night I found you sucking Hudson's weiner in our bedroom! How did I feel when I found my wife cheating on me with some man she met at a business seminar?! I felt f*****g conflicted! I felt worthless, angry and insecure! You f*****g broke me! You f*****g broke our children!"

I felt needles prick my eyes and my whole body constricted. I've never felt so hurt before. It was all true but this was the only time Shay told me how she felt. Of course, I know I'm naive.

I huffed, giving up. "Please. Just stay for dinner. Appreciate their efforts." I took my bag from the couch and started to leave.

"Sasha, this is a family dinner. You should be here. You are not leaving this house young lady." Mom said firmly. "I'm sorry for being rude Hudson, but you have to leave. I never even invited you."

"I'm sorry for barging in. I'll see you later, hon." Hudson said as he passed me and kissed my cheek.

When he passed Shay, he halted, took a deep breath and left with Lady and Levi. We just stared at each other for a while before Ashley came out of the guest room and ran to Shay.

Avery cleared his throat when he appeared and asked if there was cookies in the jar.

"Yes, Avery. Go get some for you and your sister." Mom said. "Shay, why don't you help with the meatballs, and Sasha, help us with the chocolate cake. Sam, take care of your niece and nephew."

***

"Ashley, eat your vegetables. Avery, stop piling everything on your plate. You can have a second serving later." Shay scolded.

"Avery, how's school? Is everything okay? Do you have a crush?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, it's all good. And I don't have a crush." Avery hid his face as he answered.

"Well then, who's Ysabel?" Ashley smirked.

"Shut up, Ash! Or do you want everyone to know who Nick is?"

Ashley became red as a tomato and Avery sneered. "Hush!"

I chuckled and stabbed a meatball using my fork. I bit into it and let the sauce drip down my chin. Shay sighed. She handed me a napkin nonchalantly but that simple gesture made me know that she still has feelings for me.

I know it.

Not that I care. I'm with Hudson now.

"Mooom...I want the chocolate cake nooow..." Ashley whined.

"You can have a slice as soon as you eat three spoonfuls of your vegetables." Shay said.

Ashley shoved her spoonful of corn and carrots in her mouth and gobbled it up proudly. Avery shook his head and continued eating his plateful of different dishes.

"Mom, I ate more than half a plate of veggies, do I get an extra slice?" Avery asked.

"You sure? Well then, okay. You can have another slice." Shay smiled.

"Yaaasss! Best Mom Evar!" Avery exclaimed.

"Mfmghmf...mghfm!" Ashley complained.

"Yaaasss! Best Mom Evar!"

Before I could even stop it, my eyes were threatening to spill unwanted tears. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I stared at the mirror and I couldn't even get myself to believe that I was the girl looking back at me. I've done a billion s**t in my life and I couldn't even count them. As I was about to leave the bathroom, the door swung open and a pair of slender tanned arms wrapped my waist from behind. Shay kissed the top of my head and I let out a contented sigh. Her heartbeat was slow and steady and I could feel her pulling me impossibly closer to her.

"You shouldn't be crying." Shay whispered. "And we shouldn't be doing this. I love you Sasha Pieterse."

"I love you too, Shay Mitchell. But what about Hudson? What do we tell the kids? They hate me. And I thought you did too."

She chuckled. "None of this ever happened, Sasha. You will go to bed, think that this is a dream, and never tell anyone about this."

She took my hand and led me to one of the bedrooms, lay me down and kissed my forehead.

"Always remember that I'm an actress, Sasha." She said before leaving and shutting the door behind her.

***

"Mommy! Mom! Come on! It's breakfast time!" Avery jumped on our bed and Ashley shortly followed.

Shay groaned and squinted her eyes at our six year old children.

"Who are you, people? Did you kidnap me?" Shay joked.

"Oh no. They are not even humans, Shay. They're extraterrestrial monsters who came to eat our minds." I said, joining in.

"Raaawr..." They played with their hands clawed poised like they were going to eat us.

After a few seconds of tickling, I interrupted. "Okay, let's eat breakfast. What do you guys want?"

They exchanged looks. "DONUTS!!!" They shrieked.

"DONUTS!!!"

My kids were still the same. Except for the fact that they hate me and calls me Sasha. I heard little footsteps thundering down the stairs of my parents' house. Wait. I was still here?

I can still hear Shay's words echo in my head.

"Always remember that I'm an actress, Sasha."

Which part of the events were her little act? Why is she being shady all of a sudden? Did she find a way to manipulate me?

Ugh. So many thoughts clogged my head and I need coffee. Shay's mix, to be exact. I made my way downstairs to have breakfast and I was greeted by Sam. After the announcement that we were having a divorce, Sam didn't talk to me for months, my mom and dad ignoring every plea of help I ask when it came to testifying against Shay in the court. They love Shay so much, I think they'd rather her to be their daughter instead of me.

"Good morning, Sasha! We have donuts!" Avery waved to me with a Chocolate Boston Creme in his hand.

I smiled and sat next to him and across Ashley. Ashley pushed the box of donuts in front of me and Avery sauntered to the kitchen. I got a Blueberry Cheese out of the box and took a tiny bite. Are my kids not mad at me anymore? I stared at Ashley and noticed that there was nothing different with her.

"Don't stare at me like that, Sasha. I'm...weirded out." Ashley spoke softly while biting her Strawberry-filled.

Avery returned with a mug of steaming coffee. He gave the mug to me, reactionless and he sat down like nothing happened. I carefully sipped the hot liquid and nostalgia hit me. It was Shay's mix. It was the one where she adds too much coffee, too much sugar and no cream at all (I never said it tasted great). I felt like living in a dream.

Are they okay with me again? Did Shay tell them to do this?

Speaking of the devil, Shay came out of the kitchen with another mug of coffee in her hand, sipping it gently. She was wearing a red tank top and super short shorts. She looked hot.

"Good morning. We're going to take you home since Sam couldn't. Is that okay with you?" She asked, clearly talking to me.

"Uh, yeah sure. That's fine I guess." I answered