For Better Or For Worse (Sashay)

Chapter Fifteen

S A S H A

I'm hurting.

I'm hurting so much because I pushed her away again. I know she still loves me. I know I still love her. If we still love each other then what are we doing? We're being dumb and clueless, that's what.

I got out of my bed- well, Shay's bed, I've been staying at her house for a few days now- and slipped into Shay's fluffy pink slippers. I put my hair up in bun and went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

That has been my routine. Feed the twins, take them to school, drive to work and argue with Hudson because he desperately wants me to come home, work, drive to Shay's, feed the kids, and go to bed. It was getting tiring, specially for the working and debating part, but it was also nice, it gives me a great excuse to spend time with the kids.

I decided to just give them cereal- like I did the past few days. I'm not really a cook- and orange juice. I tiptoed higher to get the box of Cookie Crisps on the top shelf when a groggy tiny voice greeted me.

"Morning, Mommy." Ashley yawned.

"Good morning, sweetheart. How was your sleep?" I asked, pouring cereals into a bowl.

She groaned. "Terrible. Avery was snoring." She pouted and buried her head in her hands. "Can we get me my own room?"

"Honey, that's not really my decision. It's your Mom's." I said painfully.

"Oh. I just thought that you still live here." She mumbled. "Are you and Mom getting back together after you marry Hudson?"

"No. What do you mean?" I said, shaking my head.

"Like what you did to Mom." She said in a matter-of-factly tone.

My heart and the empty jug of milk dropped to the floor. My daughter barely understands the situation. I thought she knew. She's so young and innocent, of course she wouldn't know anything, but the way she handles the situation was just so...bold and brave that you would actually believe she knows everything.

Shaking my head, I grabbed the jug from the floor and fakely chuckled. "We're uh, out of milk." I shakily said.

She smiled. "Mom always keeps a second jug in case. You haven't forgotten have you?"

"No." I lied.

I went to the fridge and grabbed another jug, slightly concealed by some tupperwares that were filled with leftovers. I gave Ashley her bowl and she happily accepted it with a giggle. "Thanks, Mama." She toothily smiled.

I felt a surge of happiness inside me and I released a satisfied sigh. If only Shay was here, everything would be so much better.

A pair of small feet thundered down the stairs and Avery showed up, dragging a blanket with him. "What's for breakfast?" He asked.

"Cereals."

He nodded and shrugged. Just like his Mom, he hates having something on repeat. On a routine. He's very spontaneous and risk taking. Both of them are. But they don't complain. Instead, they do it for the sake of peace.

And Lord knows they haven't gotten peace for quite some time.

I started to eat my own bowl of cereal then I started getting paranoid. What was Shay eating there? Was she even eating? God, what if she isn't? I excused myself to return to my room and grabbed my phone from the bedside table. I typed a text to Shay and it read:

Are you eating? Can you go home later today? We miss you.

I hesitantly pressed the "send" button and anxiously waited for a reply.

Two minutes later, I saw my phone light up, signalling a new message.

Yes. Sure, I miss you too. :(

I broke out into a huge smile and returned to the kitchen with a spring on my step.

***

I was flipping through hundreds of channels on Shay's TV when my doorbell rang.

That's Shay.

I fixed my dress and walked happily to the door. My face turned into one of disgust when I saw Hudson standing in front of me with a soggy bouquet of roses clutched in his hand. I didn't even notice that it was raining hard until I saw him soaking through his socks. No umbrella. What a dumb-dumb.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "The kids won't really like seeing-"

"Cut it. I know the kids are at school." He snapped.

I crossed my arms at my chest. "Was that your lame excuse of an apology?" I glared.

He sighed. "Can you let me in? Please?"

"Fine." I huffed.

I side-stepped so he could go inside and he dripped rainwater on Shan's carpet in a nanosecond. But I can't get him to stop dripping unless I force him to strip so I would have to suck it up.

He lamely handed the roses to me and I sighed. I took it and carefully placed it on the coffee table.

"I'm really sorry, Sasha. For arguing with you everyday for the past week..."

I didn't really pay attention to his apology until I felt a sloppy pair of lips against mine.

***

S H A Y

"Can I get some orchids please?" I smiled at the old saleslady at the flower shop.

She shuffled and her light grey eyes sparkled, reminding me of those understanding and loving pair that broke up with me earlier.

"Shannon, we need to talk." Katie said seriously.

I put my phone down on the table and looked at her grey eyes with seriousness and fear. Fear she might wean the information out of me that I kissed my ex wife.

"You're not pregnant are you?" I jokingly asked.

She chuckled. "No. Not at all." She smiled though it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "We need to break up." She said with confidence.

I blinked. "What?" I shook my head. "Wait, did I just hear you correctly? You want to break up?"

She nodded.

"I love you too much to see you hurt every time you kiss me. So for the sake of us, and our friendship, we need to do this."

"Why? We were fine."

"No we're not. Because you love Sasha with every piece of your heart."

"But what about-"

"Go get her, Shay." She smiled. "Before it's too late."

"Who will receive them, Miss? What is the occasion?" The old woman asked.

"It's for my wife. I'm going to get her back."