Chapter 1: Part 6 – The Lies We Learn to Live With
534 Words
Savrielle’s POV
Pagbalik ni Zayden sa loob ng bahay, dala niya ang paborito kong milk tea.
“Extra pearls, like you like it,” he said with a smile.
I took it, smiled back. “Thanks, love.”
And I meant it—because Zayden always noticed the little things.
Always gave without asking.
Pero habang pinapanood ko siyang tumatawa kay Chesca, habang nilalapag niya ang mga plastic bag sa mesa,
I felt it again.
Guilt.
That ugly thing hiding beneath the surface of every smile I gave him lately.
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That afternoon, I helped Mama prepare lumpia in the kitchen.
“She’s a keeper, Zayden,” Mama told him, eyes twinkling.
Kaizen was leaning on the counter, arms crossed, watching silently.
I could feel him there, always just a few steps behind.
“Alam ko, Ma,” Zayden answered, placing a kiss on my cheek.
“Don’t ever let her go,” she added.
Napatingin ako kay Kaizen.
And for one second, I saw it—
that flicker in his eyes.
The one he used to have for me.
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Late afternoon, Kaizen offered to take the trash out.
I volunteered to help, just to get out of that kitchen.
The air outside was crisp, sunlight fading, the sky painted in soft orange.
Pagkababa namin sa harap ng gate, tahimik kami pareho.
Then he said, “Naalala mo ‘to?”
I looked around. “Ang alin?”
He pointed to the sidewalk. “Dito tayo huling nagkita. Three years ago.”
I swallowed hard. “You really wanna talk about that now?”
“Kailangan natin. Hindi ko na kayang itago lahat.”
I crossed my arms. “You’re three years too late.”
---
“Sav,” he said, stepping closer. “Alam kong may mali ako. Pero hindi ko inakalang papalitan mo ako… ng kapatid ko pa.”
“You left me, Kaizen.”
“I was scared. I didn’t know how to love you right.”
I laughed—bitter, small. “Well, Zayden did.”
He looked away. “I know.”
For a moment, neither of us said anything.
Only the sound of wind and distant traffic.
“You happy?” he finally asked.
I didn’t answer.
Because I didn’t know how to be honest without hurting someone.
---
When we walked back in, Zayden handed me a blanket.
“You looked cold,” he said.
And I smiled.
Because he was always like that.
Attentive. Gentle. Steady.
Everything Kaizen used to be… until he wasn’t.
---
That night, habang nasa kwarto kami ni Zayden, nakahiga siya sa dibdib ko, humihilik ng bahagya.
I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling his weight on me.
And then, out of nowhere, I whispered to the dark:
“I wish you were my first.”
But the guilt hit me seconds after.
Because I didn’t just mean first.
I meant only.
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Savrielle’s Inner Monologue
We tell ourselves lies to survive.
We convince our hearts to stay where it’s safe.
Where it’s stable.
Zayden is my safety.
Kaizen was my storm.
But I’ve always loved the rain.
Even when it drowned me.
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End of Chapter 1: Part 6
- Writer
