The Winters Brothers

Bright Light

Amaris’s POV

It has been about a month and a half since the restaurant “accident” and things have gotten a little bit better. For about 2 weeks after the whole ordeal I would have non-stop nightmares. And it was always the same.

I would be walking in school and then out of nowhere I would be pulled into an empathy classroom. There would be one guy behind me pulling me by my hair, and shoving a gun in my temple. But the worst part about it was the leader would walk into the classroom. “Luca isn’t here to save you.” “You’re all alone.” “Worthless piece of s**t that takes up air.” “It’s a surprise that someone would take the time out of their day to save you.” On and on, every single time, until it stuck. I started believing him, finishing his sentences for him, I hated myself. For the first time in my life I actually hated myself, not the “I don’t feel like myself today” kind of hate, like the “God I pity the people who put up with the burden of being my friends everyday” kind of hate.

I began to distance myself from them a couple weeks ago; Luca thinks that I’m just tired because of work, Titus and Ryker don’t sense anything seeing as how they just started hanging out with us a little more, but Levy. She knows, I know she knows and makes me sad because she became a lot more quiet, mostly because she’s constantly watching me. I am constantly being observed by her, which I can understand why. When the nightmares were really bad, she would come over or I would go over and stay the night so I wouldn’t be alone. My parents didn’t understand what was going on but Levy did. And what scared me the most, more than his voice in my head, was what Levy would do when it clicked for her what's going on and how Luca would react when I couldn’t deny it.

“Why are you guys here again?” Luca whined to Titus and Ryker. Like I had mentioned before, Titus and Ryker began to hang around us more now. Which was nice because I think it bored Luca when we would talk about girl stuff, so when they were here they would talk about Lacrosse since Lacrosse was now in season for our high school. Good ole Sierra Springs High sports. This also meant that Levidia was gone the first 15 minutes of lunch because she had a soccer meeting talking about whatever soccer stuff needed to be discussed.

Titus chuckled as he sat on the table and swung his backpack on the opposite side of his feet that were resting next to me. He looked down at me with ocean colored eyes and rustled my hair, sended me a warm smile. I returned a soft one as I went back to i********: scrolling for new design ideas for my upcoming class project in my design class.

A few minutes later Levy came walking up with Tyler and Adrian. Tyler and Adrian played soccer for the boys team and played the same position as Levidia. “Hey guys!” Levidia called out as she walked up to our table and set her stuff down.

“What’s up guys. Hey see you laters Levs!” The boys called out after dabbing up the boys. Levy sent them a wave as she turned her attention to me.

“Hey, how are you feeling today.” She asked me.

“Fine, thanks. You?”

“I’m peachy.” She said with a wink.

“Great,now that Levidia is here; I have an announcement to make.” Luca said and he stood in front of us.

“You’re gay.” We all said back to him. Luca gasped as he put his hand over his heart.

“Hey, I am not gay, Ti, Ry, you guys literlly walked in on my and Olivia Reids last nigh. What do you mean?” Luca whined to his brothers.

“Is that why you told us we couldn’t come over last night?” Levy spoke up.

“You asked to come over last night?” Ryker asked from right next to her. She responded with a nod and looked back up to Luca.

“Guy hey now look this isn’t what I wanted to tell you but yes that is why you couldn’t come over last night. What I wanted to say was-”

“s**t principessa if you wanted to come over last night you could have just asked me.” Titus cut him off as he shot a wink to Levy from beside me.

“Titus, shut up man. She doesn’t want you; I know who she wants and it sure as hell isn’t you. So shut the f**k up. What I wanted to say- and before any of you try to cut me off again or distract me away from the subject just know that I will cut your hair in your sleep and dye it green just to spite you. So with that being said-”

“Hey Luca.” Olivia said from behind him. We all looked down and covered our mouths, hiding the smile and laugh that threatened to peek through. “I missed you this morning.” She added. This girl really has it out for herself. Poor Luca. Looking over at Luca he was just standing there staring at her, probably imagining all the ways to tell her to get lost without making her hate him so he can still get her whenever he wanted to.

“Hey Olivia, now is probably not a good time to be talking to him. Maybe you should try after school, maybe even after Lax practice.” Levidia said, walking up to them. She put her hand on Luca’s back and started to rub it as a way to sooth him so he didn’t attack anyone. Smart girl. Olivia rolled her eyes and made a pouting face at Luca.

“Luca, do you really want me to leave.” She said as she placed a perfectly manicured hand on Luca’s chest. This is where Titus stepped in. He removed her hand from Luca’s chest and motioned with his head for her to leave. She gave a slow nod and walked away with her head down. Poor girl had it coming though.

Levy went up on her tippy toes and whispered something into Luca’s ear and he took a deep breath. He looked down at her and smiled a small smirk and then looked back up at us.

“Guys, I officially grew an inch. I’m 6’1 now.” Luca said in the most monotone voice. Me and Levy just stared at him while the boys got up and started hyping him up. Confusion. What?

When they settled down Luca sat back down next to me, in between me and Levy.

“Congratulations Luca.” I said to him with a soft smile. He threw an arm over my shoulder and kissed the top of my head.

“Thank you Ris.” He said as he laid his head on top of mine. Ever since the restaurant incident I didn’t like being touched, but Luca and Levy were the only exceptions. When anyone else tried to touch me I’d ask them not to touch me, most of them would apologize but others like my parents would get offended and hurt. I felt bad but at the same time I didn’t.

“What are you looking at?” He whispered to me as I continued scrolling through i********:.

“New design ideas.”

“But they wouldn’t be new ideas since they were already created.”

“True but it's more of an inspiration thing. I’m looking for new inspiration ideas.” I explained to him. I scrolled around to give him an example. “Like this top, but instead of purple, a light green with a V-neck instead of a square. And these pants, but in black with white farm pockets and white daisy embroidery at the bottom of the pants. Oh, and these heels, but clear instead of yellow.”

“That would look really pretty on you, that kinda cool though, that you can take these three pictures and turn them into an outfit with your own personal touch. Good job Risy.” Luca said to me with a goofy smile on his face. This made me smile but the smile soon faded when His voice came into my head. Shrugging Luca’s arm off my shoulder I shook my head. “Amaris,” The hurt in Luca’s voice was heard by everyone at the table, causing them all to look at us.

“You’re just saying that, it sucks I know. You could at least be honest Luca. You won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t like it.” I said looking down at my phone. I heard Luca groan, loudly. He grabbed my face so I was looking at him.

“First of all, no. I did like it, I wasn’t lying to you. Second of all, look at me when you talk to me. Third of all, what is going on with you; you keep doing this, I compliment you on something and you just shut down-” Luca ranted, but was cut off by levidia.

“That’s enough Luca.” She warned.

“No, I’m not done. Why can’t you take my compliment? Why do you have to automatically assume that I’m just trying to be nice and say I like it and think that I must hate it? I’m telling you that I Do like it, Ris, not that I don’t. If I didn’t like it, you of all people would be able to tell. And why would you shrug my arm off, I always have my arm around you, why are you just now shrugging it off. Gosh Amaris, I’m just trying to show you that I care about you in the ways that I can, why can’t you just take it.” He angrily said. Taking a deep breath at the end, looking at me with wide eyes. He doesn’t get it.

I got up and began to gather up my things. “Hey no, Ris, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that. Hey wait, Ris, hold on now.” Luca stressed as he tried to take things out of my hand to stop me.

“Luca, stop, hey. Give it back.” I said weakly to him. The others just watched with wide eyes. Luca grabbed my wrist and held my stuff away from arms reach. He needs to stop, people are looking now. My goodness it’s getting hot. Why is my stuff getting farther?

“Luca stop, Luca! Luca stop, she’s about to pass out. Luca stop, look at her eyes!” Levy started to call out but was being held back by Ryker. Looking back at Luca he looked frustrated and angry. He wasn’t himself right now. Focus. God I can’t. Everything is spinning, I think I’m going to be sick. f**k this is bad. Oh s**t. No no no no no no, stop stop stop stop. Focus, oh my gosh I can’t see. What happened to my vision. Why can’t I move. I just want to go home.

“You are so weak and pathetic, it’s no wonder he went off on you. He probably can’t stand you.” He laughed at me. No stop. I need to stop this. I can’t keep believing him. But.. What if he’s right. What if Luca does hate me. He probably does, doesn’t he? Gosh I’m probably such a burden to him. Why, why does he have to hate me? I love him! He’s my best friend, I need him! I hate myself, this is all my fault. How could I be so stupid, gosh I’ve probobably been so self centered, gosh I hate myself. Maybe I should just disappear, then he wouldn’t have to put up with me anymore, he could live his life free of me, he and Levy can get a new best friend. Wait, levy. What about Levy? She doesn’t hate me, no, she stood up for me. But what if she was only doing that because we were causing a scene; I was causing a scene. This is all my fault. How could I be so fu-

“Ris! Cmon Ris, wake up. Amaris wake up, cmon stop. Stop, wake up Ris, you don’t know what you're saying.” Luca and Levy’s voices spoke to me. I’m so confused. What’s going on. Why are they trying to help me? They hate me. Gosh my head is killing me.

Wait, stop, focus, think. What was I doing? How did I get here? What was going on? I-

A bright light suddenly was overcoming my vision. My goodness why was that so bright. Then it was in my other eye, f**k that deos not feel good.

This is too much, I just want to be left alone. Suddenly, feeling was coming back into my body, I hadn’t even realized I wasn’t able to feel anything. This didn’t feel good though, someone- no wait multiple people were touching me right now. f**k I felt sick. Stop. No. Please stop touching me, oh my God, please stop. Stop.

Then they stopped. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. Much better. I slowly started to open my eyes, only to be met by some intense lighting. Why is it so bright? Damm, my body hurts.

“Ris?” I soft femanine voice called out. I slowly looked in that direction and was met with a pair of hazel eyes. Levidia. “Hey pretty girl, you okay? How do you feel? Here, hold on. Hey, hand me her water bottle. Thank you. Amaris, here, drink this.” She said and placed a light pink water bottle in my hands. I stared at it, I’m so confused right now.

“Amaris please drink that water.” A pair of mismatched eyes said to me. Blue and brown. Luca.

“Sweetheart, you should listen to your nice friends and drink some water.” Said an older feminane voice that was next to me. I have to clue who that lady is or why she is here but what? A pair of warm, large hands came around mine and moved the water bottle up to my mouth.

“Please, try.” Luca whispered to me with pleading eyes. There was always something about his eyes that I could never place. One blue eye was icy clear blue, this was his accusing eye. This was the eye that would shock you into silence with just one look, there was nothing kind about his blue eye, it was wicked. But his brown eye, this brown eye was warm and kind. This was the eye that won people over. Now that I thought about it, they symbolized his balance. I was one of those people that knew Luca had two sides to him, not many people had seen it but it’s true. One side was cold and wicked, while the other was warm and kind. This was Luca. “Please Ris.” He pleaded with me once more. This time I complied.

I moved that water bottle up more to my mouth and put my lips around the straw-like part. I began to drink and as I did, focus and vision became a lot better, I didn’t feel as light-headed too. Swallowing my last sip, I put the water bottle down and took a deep breath. I looked at the lady that I now recognised as the nurse and gave her a small smile.

“I’m sorry for making you come all the way out here, I’m okay now I promise.” I said with an apologetic look to her.

“No nonsense, I just wanted to make sure you're okay, though, I’m not sure you needed it.” She said, looking at Levidia. “You are lucky to have a friend like her, she knows what she’s doing. I’m glad you feel alright sweetie but do you want to go home? I would totally understand if you wanted to, your friends explained that you’ve been under a lot of stress, so it might be best if you just take the rest of the day off.” She said looking at me with an understanding look. I think I might just go home, this way I could decompress and recompose myself. It was friday and I didn’t work today so that meant it was movie night. This is good, because then I can just say that I wasn’t feeling well, and needed the rest of the night to rest. Yes, that was a good plan.

“I think I might just do that. Thank you.” I said to her,

“Okay, why don’t you come over to my office and I’ll write you a pass and call your parents to let them know that I will be sending you home. Are you okay to drive or do you want me to ask them to come get you?” She said as she got up. Call my parents? Oh s**t, how was I going to explain that.

“I think I’ll be okay to drive, my head feels a lot better. Thank you.” I said weakly. She gave me a nod and walked away. I’m so screwed. I hadn't realized I was being held until my head connected with someone's chest. Looking up I was met with a pair of ocean blue eyes. Titus. I gasped as he chuckled down at me.

“Come on, let's get you up and to your car.” He said as he twisted me in his arms and picked me up bridal style.

“Woah, hey, Titus you don't have to carry me, I can walk.” I said panicky as I squirmed around in his arms.

“Amaris, stop squirming or I’ll drop you” He said as he shot me a look. There was literally no point arguing with him. “Luca, grab her bag, levidia, grab her water bottle. Ryker, find her car keys.” He instructed them as he walked off with me to the parking lot.

“Thank you.” I whispered as I laid my head into the crook of his neck. I yawned as we made it out of the courtyard. I could take a long nap when I get home.

“Amaris,” Titus said as we took the long way to the parking lot. Why was he going the long way, he was going to be late for class.

“Titus, why are you going the long way you're going to be late for class.” I said to him,

“Why do you think that they hate you?” He said, completely undermining what I had said before that. How did… what?

“I- umm… I’m sorry?”

“Why.. do you think.. that they.. hate-”

“I heard you the first time Titus, why are you asking me that?”

“Why were you murmuring it?”

“I wasn’t murmuring anything.”

“Right.”

“I wasn’t”

“Why have you become so dull?” He said. But this time when he said it, it wasn’t a curiosity around it, it was like he was deep in thought and he spoke out loud.

“Dull?” I asked quietly. He didn’t respond for a while, just walked. He looked to be deep in thought, zoned out on the way in front of us. Then, he stopped and slowly looked down at me.

“You have nightmares don’t you.” He wasn’t asking a question, he was stating a fact. He knew. I looked down at his cross. “He comes to you in your dreams and tells you things, doesn’t he.” My eyes began to water as I cleared my throat. “Amaris, I’m not going to hurt you.” He said softly to me. I looked up at him as a tear rolled down my cheek. Slowly setting me down he hunched down to my level, gathering my face in his hands. “Amaris, they don’t hate you, they love you. They love you so much and they would go to the ends of the earth for you. You are smart, kind, beautiful and have such a bright and vibrant personality. You are like the most beautiful star; la nostra bella stella splendente.” He said, wiping away the stray tears. I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. “No, don’t shake your head at me, whatever He told you, He’s wrong, He’s a liar. He doesn’t know you like they do, like we all do.” He said firmly to me and brushed the tears and hair away from my face.

“He said I was weak and pathetic, that I was a burden onto you guys, a waste of space.” I said and a small sob broke out of me. Titus brought me to his chest and hugged me. “He said I was all alone.” I sobbed even harder into his chest. He put one of his hands on the back of my head and began to whisper how strong, brave and beautiful I was; how He would never hurt me again and how out of all things, I was most definitely not alone. Pulling away from him, I looked up and smiled at him. “Thank you Titus, I really needed that.”

“Well duh, I gotchu fam.” He said picking me back up again. “Watch them think that we did things when we get back to the car.” He said as he began walking again, I gasped and slapped his chest, making him give out a hearty laugh.

“Not funny.” I said as I laid my head back down in the crock of his neck and closed my eyes.

About two minutes later and like breeze washed over me. Opening up my eyes, I noticed that we were in the parking lot.

“Dude, where were you guys? Ris, are you okay? Why are her eyes red! What the f**k, Titus, what did you do?” Luca yelled as he checked over me. He gave a dark look to Titus as Titus walked over to the driver's side.

“Open the door for me will you, bella stella.” Titus whispered down to me. I reached my arm out and opened the door for him. He moved the door open a little more with my legs and he set me into the driver's seat and buckled me up.

“You know I could have done that too right.” I said to him with a soft laugh.

“Yeah but I do it so much better.” He said winking at me. “Okay, here's how this is going to work, you are going to drive home but at any point you get light headed, dizzy or can’t focus on the road you pull over and call me and I’ll come pick you up. Got it.” he said as he was hunched over leaning against the window. I gave a small smile and nodded. “No Amaris, I want to hear you say you understand.”

“Yes I understand Ti.” I said as I closed the door, smirking shyly at him. Levy knocked on the other side of the window as I started the car. Rolling down the window I looked back up at her and a now worried looking Luca. “Guys, I’m fine. I promise. I just need some decompressing time. And Titus didn’t do anything Luca I swear, he just helped try to calm me down, that's all.” They shared a concerned look and then looked back at me.

“Fine, but movie night at your house and you telling us everything. Deal.” Levidia said. Gosh darnit. They really got me there.

“Deal.” I said with a nod.

“Okay, drive safe, call us if you need anything. Please.” Luca said as he thunted his hand on the bottom of my window. He was on edge and trying to compose himself. Levy made a quick glance down at his hands, she noticed. This made me feel better because out of the three of us levy was the one to calm us down. We were in good hands when we were with her. He would be okay.

“I will, I promise, now go, you guys are going to be late to class.”

Ryker came up to levy and luca and put an arm around both of them. “Come on guys, let her go home, she's probably tired.” He said as he winked at me. I love him for that.

“I love you Amaris.” Luca said.

“Yeah me too, please don’t forget that.” Levidia followed after him. I shot them a smile and nodded.

“I love you guys too.” I said as I put the car into reverse and began to drive away.

As I made it out of the parking lot I looked back in my mirrors, there they all stood watching me drive away. For some reason this made me tear up. I quickly wiped away a stray tear as I turned up the radio and drove home.

If I have taken anything from today, it is that loving someone is so much more than just telling them you love them but the ways you show them you love them. Like, watching them drive away and not just turning your back and leaving when they do.

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