War of Shadows

Pinned by the General

Chapter 21

After a quiet lunch, Caz dusted his hands together and stood up from the blanket we had laid on the floor of the gym, the pillow placed behind his knees dropping to the floor behind him.

“Alright, let’s go.”

I stared at him dumbfounded.

“Come on,” he urges, “ We’re putting those movements to use.”

“So I’m gonna learn how to fight?” Hope and excitement flushes over me as I follow him into the sand.

“Not really, run through them a couple more times. This time, I want you to do them with purpose and force behind them.”

I feel awkward fighting an invisible enemy, and Caz barks out corrections here and there until subtly nodding his head and joining me on the sand and discarding his shirt in the grass.

“Do them again.”

He moves with my movements, pointing out where to aim for each hit and why, explaining how to knock my opponent off their balance and use my size to my advantage. The movements are different while making contact with someone, so he shows me how to swing my weight with my hits and create more fluid motions in order to maintain my balance. After he explains the basics, he becomes a different kind of coach. He gets strict, loud, and demanding.

Suddenly, I feel a painful knock on the back of my knee and a sweep through my ankles and the world spins abruptly until I find myself on my back, the wind knocked out of me. Caz pins me on the sand, anchoring my arms above my head and his hand around my throat while he sits on my hips.

“Get out.”

Confusion swirls and I feel a panic rise up. “Get off of me.” I fight to keep my composure and swallow the bile that creeps up.

“Figure it out. Figure out a way to get the upper hand.”

Realization hits me and I feel the panic die down to a quiet hum.

“I don’t know.”

“Try.”

I center myself and try pathetically to buck him off of me, and he tightens his hold on my neck just fraction. My eyes widened at the threat before he loosens up.

“I’m heavier and stronger than you, going that route won’t do anything. Control your emotions and think.”

He can see right through me. He knows this is a trigger, and he’s expecting me to figure it out. f*****g pig.

A surge of anger rips through me and I spit viciously in his face, landing a spot in his eye. His grip on my throat releases and he tries to swing his hand to his face, but I lurch my head forward and catch his thumb between my teeth, barring down firmly until his other hand releases my arms. He hisses as he inspects his hand with a smirk.

“Good girl,” he praises.

“You’re still on me.”

“I’m sure you could have figured that out, you did all I need you to right now”

The anger is still brewing in my chest. “Get off of me,” I growl. I twist under him, using my now free hands to push at his stomach. “GET OFF”.

I snap.

I watch as my hand claw and hit Caz through blurred vision, my blood pounding in my ears. I pound and push as waves of sobs rake over me again and again, until I feel like the edges of myself are fraying apart and unwinding- until I feel so utterly raw, naked and flayed apart for everyone to gawk at like a circus animal that’s finally hit their breaking point.

Reality comes barreling back at me just as fast as it left. Caz sits on his knees in front of me, angry red marks and scratches decorating his arms and chest. The red marks nearly blend in with the myriad of scars in various shapes and sizes across his dark bronzed skin. An especially brutal scar stretches in an arc just under his right peck along his rib cage and I resist the twitch to run my finger along the pink tissue of it.

I’m suddenly aware of the grounding pressure of his rough hands on top of my shoulders.

I feel a blush of shame burn my face as I face what I’ve done to Caz.

“Stella, you’re here. You’re okay,” he urges desperately. His hazel eyes search mine for a sign that I’ve returned to my senses.

“I’m so sorry,” I choke out. “It just freaked me out and I just-” I choke out the words, wanting nothing more than to turn and run. To run so far away from everything.

“No, Stella.” Caz pinches my chin between his thumb and finger, pulling my wandering attention back to him. “You did well.”

The flare of anger surges again like a red hot flame in my chest. “We’re done.”

He pins me in place, a thousand unsaid words flitting behind his eyes before he nods and stands again. He holds out a hand to help me stand, which I make a show of ignoring while I climb to my feet and stomp toward the gym before Caz’s steel grip wraps around my wrist to spin me back to face him. I shudder at his darkened gaze that I haven’t seen on him yet. My blood runs cold at his clenched jaw.

“What are those from?” His voice grits out in a dangerously low growl, and I feel my body shift into defense mode. “Stella,” he presses after my lack of response, “Who did that to you?”

My back.

I haven’t seen the damage yet, partially because I don’t want to. I know Daine had healed my wounds, and I suppose I had just held onto some hope that there was nothing left from that man’s lashings. I guess I was wrong.

“You’re mighty nosey for someone who doesn’t want to be considered a friend,” I snap back, remembering his cold words to me last night.

Caziel says nothing as I turn my back on him once more and rush back inside the palace.