War of Shadows

Fancy Prisons

Chapter 23

I wake up in my bed feeling oddly…rested? I sit up, my bones aching and groaning in protest, and I heave out a soft grunt which triggers a stirring to my left, where Caz is draped over a chair with his leg dangling lazily off of one arm. His head lifts from the palm of his hand, and I hold back a chuckle at the angry, bright red splotch it left on his face.

His eyes widen as he registers that I’m awake, and he sits up in one fluid motion.

“I’m not sure if guard dogs are allowed to sleep on the job,” I jab at him and cringe at the raw soreness in my throat. The words feel like sandpaper.

He watches me warily, making me uncomfortable.

“Can I get some water?” I ask awkwardly.

Caz hurries across the bedroom and returns a few moments later with a bowl of steaming stew, a pitcher of water and a glass.

“Thanks,” I offer him.

He watches me gulp down the water like a hawk, his corded arms crossed over his chest and eyes boring a hole into the side of my head.

“What’s your problem?” I grumble. “Are you still mad at me?” I really hope not, I want to add. I felt a shift in the room between us before…

He eyes me quizzically before he shakes his head at me.

“Are we playing charades then? Why won’t you talk to me?”

“How do you feel?” His voice is gravely, the roughness of someone who’s just woken up.

“Like s**t,” I counter and eye the stew in my lap. “Thank you.”

“You already said that.”

I roll my eyes. “I meant for staying. You know, during the…thing.”

Caz merely grunts in response and an awkward silence fills the room. I glance down to the steaming bowl in my lap, surprised to find my fingertips fully intact and untouched after vividly feeling them ripped off of my fingers. I suppress a shiver at the memory.

“Did Daine heal me?” I shift my gaze to Caz, who shakes his head before leaning against the post of the bed frame at the far end of the bed. The wood creaks under his weight.

“I had him come and check on you. That witch,” he spits out, “insisted that you didn’t need anything but rest, but your screams…” his eyes grow distant as he trails off.

I feel a blush of embarrassment color my cheeks at the reminder of the vulnerability he’d seen from me.

“I’m sorry if it was loud, I don’t think I really remember a lot of it.”

“I thought…”

“Thought what?” I push.

Caz shakes his head again. “Are you feeling okay? Do you need Daine?”

“I’m great, considering. Just a little sore, but I feel pretty good honestly…Why are you being so kind to me?”

He had been so cold and distant before the ritual, but he stayed when he knew I needed him to.

Caz shrugs before pushing off of the post and stalking to the door. “You did a very brave thing. A lot of people wouldn’t have done that.”

“Are you saying I’m a horrible mate?” The reality of what I’ve done comes crashing down, weighing on my chest like a thousand pound boulder. Eli must know, there’s no way he wouldn’t feel it. What if we were wrong, what if Eli wasn’t a danger to anyone at all, what if I did this all for nothing? I feel my chest tighten painfully as my vision starts to blur. “Because I am. I might possibly be the most horrible mate to ever have existed.” My throat catches and I feel a tear escape, tickling my cheek as it rolls down.

“Stella, “ he starts, taking a hesitant step toward me. The shame of what I’ve let happen pins my gaze onto my hands in my lap, folded so tight that my knuckles fade to white. “This wasn’t what you think it is. You didn’t reject him for selfish reasons.”

I don’t care. I don’t deserve a mate, and I most definitely did not deserve Eli specifically. He was always taking care of me, always knew exactly what I needed and not once did he hesitate to give it to me. His heart was big, and it was brave to have accepted me even though it would completely unravel his father’s vows to Diane’s father. How did I repay him? I shattered the bond.

I threw him away just because a bunch of strangers in a strange land said that it would be the most responsible thing to do. Because they were afraid, I let myself be manipulated into losing my mate.

“Get out,” I seethe through painfully clenched teeth. “Please, just leave me alone.”

“Stel-”

“I’ve had so much taken from me, and you people keep asking for more, more, more! I have lost my mate, I have lost my only friends, I have lost my innocence, I have lost any plans or goals I set for myself. ” My stomach reels as I slide out of bed, and I feel a hum at my fingertips. “We have no plan for any of this besides run! Run from the boogeyman that might want to kill me, and might even not want to kill me. Run from my mate because he’s just trying to find his kidnapped partner. Run from a war between Ghashia and Elynta that hasn’t even begun yet. Tell me, Mr. Big Bad Guard Dog General Man, what, for goddess’s sake, is the f*****g plan!”

My chest bumps into Caz as I huff with unreleased rage. The hum at my fingertips has become a roaring, painful static wrapping up my arms and into my chest and I find myself trying to hold myself from going completely feral on Caz in this bedroom.

“The plan,” He spits venomously, “is to keep you safe. Can’t you see? That’s all this has been from the very beginning.”

“Why?” I demand.

Caz says nothing as he holds my fiery gaze with one of his own.

“Exactly,” I press. “There’s no reason for any of it. One woman is not worth all of this f*****g bullshit. Just let me go. If Adonis finds me then so be it, he can do whatever the f**k he wants. But I’m not going to sit and rot in this fancy f*****g prison for the rest of my life because somebody doesn’t like that I exist.”

“No.” His jaw ticks, but he stands in place refusing to move an inch though we stand chest-to-chest.

“That’s not your call to make.”

“It is now,” he challenges.

I feel my anger begin to fizzle out, replaced by confusion. “What?”

“I’m making exceptions because of your current state and what you just endured, but don’t forget for one second who I am. I outrank your mother, I outrank Daine, I outrank Dasia, and I outrank every single Fae you pass in any of these halls at any given moment. That is why it’s my call to make. Because I even outrank you, princess.” Caz’s baritone voice booms in through the walls of my bedroom, and I have to fight to keep my chin up and not cower under the heat of his presence.

“You’re an asshole, “ I hiss.

“It doesn’t matter how you feel toward me, because at the end of the day you will sit and hide safely within this ‘fancy f*****g prison’ until I say otherwise.”