We meet Again

ALWAYS LIKE THIS(RYAN'S POV)

It has always been like this in my life. I grew up with Ocean and his mother, who became my mom and lived happily with them and with no problems at all. I never wanted to know my parents who abandoned me, fearing to take responsibility towards me. If they were so afraid of getting a baby, why didn't try to use protection and put in more efforts in making sure that a baby doesn't come in.

To be honest, I hate them with passion for abandoning me. Anyways, I don't care since I already had a mother who loves me.

One day, I discovered I was gay or rather bisexual and began to have this crush for guys. I didn't know who to talk to, or meet someone and tell that person what was going on in my life. What people saw in me was, *This boy is so talented, this boy is so handsome, he will create a good future for people around him and get married to a good wife*

Ugh! That wasn't what I wanted, for crying out loud and people were seeing the perfect side of me and never bothered to look at the other side of me and what was I supposed to do, nothing?

It became a constant battle for me, every single day and I couldn't help it.

I wasn't perfect, I wasn't the boy they were seeing on the outside, I wasn't a genius. I wanted to be different and let people see me on the inside and not on the outside, which I know, that for me wasn't possible.

I went on with my daily life and did what I had to do and made sure I tried my best in doing whatever I had to do. Whenever I come back from school, I am always aroused and get a hard b***r almost all the damn time and I don't know if it's normal or if something was wrong with me. I couldn't explain that to anyone. I wanted to ask Ocean about it if he had experienced the same thing too, but I brushed the thought aside and decided to find out all by myself. I guess I was the one who didn't want to open up about his problems. What will they think of me? How will they react, if they were to find out that I was gay? What would become of my adoptive mother, if she finds out? What would happen if Ocean finds out and even Makai too? What would become of my life, if they find out, won't I look like a disturbing piece of s**t and a maggot in their eyes. The worst part will be, they can throw me out of their lives, where will I go from here, what will I do? How am I going to survive all this, how will I feed myself, who will take me in and besides I'm still underage. I can't look for a job, and I have no one to go to and I also find out about how my biological parents ran away from their responsibility and that f***s a lot. I don't know how people around me are going to react so I got scared, really scared to ... tell anyone and keep it to myself, afraid of how judgemental people are going to be. I decided to keep my sexuality hidden from everyone, including my own family. I know, I made some mistakes, some idiotic stupid mistakes that I shouldn't have done and I shouldn't have fallen for my own brother, which we are not exactly blood related but, I should never have allowed that in the first place. I should have tried harder and harder to avoid this feeling.

I came back from school, on a hot afternoon, sweating a lot and I quickly ran towards the fridge, opening it and taking out a bottle of water. I opened the cap and put it on my mouth, and gulped all the water down my throat at once. I took another one and did the same thing. The weather was so hot and it was summer. I decided to go upstairs and take a fresh, nice bath, dropping my back on the table and then, I noticed that Ocean's shoe was at the front of the door. At that moment, I knew he was back from school and I quietly tiptoed, ready to scare the hell out of him and watch how scared he was going to get. As I was getting closer to his room, ready to open the door, I halted. His TV was on and I began hearing moans coming from the TV and I saw Ocean stroking his groin. He was so into it and his groin was so big, compared to mine which was not that big. He continued stroking and putting a dildo in his asshole. shoving inside it in and out of his ass, damn he seemed to enjoy it. I know that, I've seen it in p**n before and to be honest, I thought of getting it for myself, but I was still underage, they wouldn't sell it to me at all. Unless you take that kind of stuff from someone who you know very well and pretty close to the person to get it for you and thinking about it now, is pretty embarrassing and I'm sure, I will wish for the ground to swallow me up at that instant if ever that kind of thing should happen.

He moaned and continued stroking himself and I don't know what came over me, f**k!

I started touching my pants and squeezed my groin which was still inside my trousers. I couldn't help it at all and it felt too good to be true. I continued squeezing it, over and over again. I couldn't help it, Suddenly, I silently unzipped my trouser and pulled it out and began stroking up and down my shaft, I kept looking at him and as he kept moaning and whimpering with his saliva dripping out from his mouth and he looked so erotic almost like those anime in the movies.