Chapter 14: The First Child
721 Words
Having their first baby changed everything.
For them both.
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Becca fell in love with her son and the second she laid eyes on him.
Hard.
Too much.
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Lee fell in love with their son, too.
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They became parents overnight. Nocturnal feedings, diapers, happiness.
But underneath it all, something darker grew too.
Paranoia.
Lee’s paranoia about her leaving him.
His paranoia that he wouldn’t be enough.
His paranoia that he’d lose her.
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And paranoia breeds something else if it’s fed enough time.
The House Feels Smaller
Post baby, Becca stopped going out altogether.
At first, she just didn’t want to.
Then it felt like too much work.
Then it felt like she couldn’t.
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Sarah called one day.
“Let’s grab lunch.”
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Becca’s face lit up. “I’d love too!”
She said it half-heartedly before glancing back to the living room.
To Lee.
To their new baby.
To this invisible force weighing down on her.
“I don’t think so.”
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“Why?”
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Becca opened her mouth, then closed it. Wordless.
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Because she didn’t know how to explain it to Sarah.
The First Real Fight
It started over grocery shopping.
Normally, grocery shopping.
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They came home, and Becca was hauling groceries upstairs.
Lee is already inside.
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“What took you so long?” He asked when she placed the bags on the counter.
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She furrowed her brows. “Uh. The lines were insane.”
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“Lines?! You took 45 minutes at the grocery store?” He scoffed.
“Um…Yes?”
Silence.
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“You were talking to someone.”
She sat there dumbfounded. Lee’s words were so extreme, she wanted to laugh.
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“What?” She managed.
“You cheated on me.”
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Becca’s eyes widened as she stared at him. “Wh…What?”
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“No! I didn’t mean it like that! I just thought…”
He couldn’t finish his sentence.
The Truth Now Lurks
That night, they fought for what felt like hours.
Not because he had proof.
Hell, there was no proof.
They fought because he felt uncomfortable.
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And feeling uncomfortable became reality for Becca.
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He apologized later that evening.
“I’m sorry.”
Becca folded laundry, avoiding eye contact.
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“I don’t know why I accused you of that.”
She nodded once.
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“I trust you, Babe.”
Another nod.
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But something she noticed.
The apology made her feel better.
Not understood.
Safe.
As if the huge fight they just had wasn’t even a problem, now that he apologized.
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And that scared her.
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The Trap Tightens
Time moved forward.
They had more kids.
Life has gotten busy.
More difficult.
Fuller.
And by default, Lee slowly became the nucleus of their every decision.
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He didn’t explicitly demand it.
Ask her where she was going. Who with. Why.
Because asking led to fights.
So, Becca simply listened and nodded.
Every activity required his approval.
Every departure raised eyebrows.
Every relationship or interaction she had was carefully examined.
The grocery store.
The gas station.
Work.
Phone calls.
Family visiting.
Anything.
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There was no privacy anymore.
One night, after putting their now three kids to bed, Becca sat in the dark kitchen by herself.
Drained.
Used.
Lee walked in behind her.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
He frowned. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”
And it hit Becca. For a moment, she wanted to scream the truth at him.
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That she felt alone in a room full of people.
That she felt scrutinized when she was loved.
That she felt caged in while living a life others dreamed of…
Instead, she gave him a bright smile.
The smile she mastered throughout the years.
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“Just tired.”
Lee nodded. Relieved.
And as he walked upstairs to bed, Becca sat in silence.
Realizing something she hadn’t before.
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Fear. Anger. Loneliness.
Those were all things she felt daily.
But acceptance?
That was new.
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Because today, she realized that THIS.
These fights.
These conversations.
These years of suspicion…
We’re not going to just end.
Not ever.
Lee was married to these ideals more than he was to her.
And until he realized that himself, nothing would change.
- Writer
