Chapter 9: The First Time She Felt Watched
852 Words
Things didn’t change between them overnight.
They never do.
It was a series of small things.
Questions.
“So, you’re working late again?”
“I didn’t know you were hanging out with that guy.”
“Are you sure that’s just a coworker?”
At first, Becca answered them all.
She didn’t fight him.
Because it was easy.
Because at that moment, it felt like she was reassuring him.
Love.
She told herself she was showing him that she cared.
---
One night, Becca finally confronted him.
“Why do you ask me so many questions all of a sudden?”
They were sitting at her kitchen table across from each other.
Lee looked up from his phone. “I want to know what you’re doing. I want to understand your life.”
Becca crossed her arms over her chest. “You never used to do this.”
He nodded minutely. “I know.”
“Then what’s changed?” she probed.
Lee paused.
Then quietly uttered:
“I just don’t like the idea of you being somewhere that I don’t know.”
Those words lingered between them longer than they had any right to.
---
Becca frowned. “That doesn’t sound healthy.”
Lee’s demeanor shifted almost imperceptibly. “That sounds like you care.”
“I do,” she whispered back. “That’s the problem.”
The First Boundary She Almost Didn’t Set
Weeks later, she brought it up again.
“I don’t plan on waking up every hour to check in with you,” Becca said.
Lee raised his eyebrows in her direction. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”
“You don’t have to.”
There was a weighted silence.
Lee leaned back in his chair subtly. “I don’t want to control you.”
Becca paused. “Then what are you doing?”
This time, Lee’s pause was longer.
When he spoke again, his words were hard.
“I love you.”
And Becca didn’t know yet that love said politely can be just as dangerous as violence said loudly.
“I Just Don’t Like That Guy”
It began with little preferences.
Small declarations.
Not demands.
No requirements.
Just… unease.
Becca had mentioned a coworker one night while cooking dinner.
“He covered my shift today,” she shrugged. “Saved my butt, honestly.”
Lee didn’t look away from his phone. “Which one?”
Becca stirred the pasta. “Mark. The tall one with the beard.”
Silence.
Lee replied, “I don’t really like him.”
Becca blinked at him. “You don’t even know him.”
“I’ve seen him,” he replied simply.
“That’s not the same thing,” she countered.
Lee looked up from his phone, finally. “I just don’t like the way he looks at you.”
Becca chuckled softly. “He looks at everyone that way. He’s just our coworker.”
Lee didn’t smile.
That was new.
The First Time She Changed Plans
It wasn’t forced.
She chose it.
And that was what made it strange.
Becca had been getting ready one afternoon when she received a text from one of her coworkers.
**Coworker: ** Drinks after shift? Some of us are going.
She paused.
Then replied with, “Maybe next time.”
Lee walked in later that night.
“You, okay?” he asked her.
Becca nodded. “Yeah, just tired.”
There was a flicker of something across his face, though.
“You were going out.”
Becca furrowed her eyebrows. “How did you know that?”
Lee shrugged. “You said something about doing something after work earlier.”
“I changed my mind,” she replied shortly.
He paused.
And then smiled. “Good. You’ve been working so much. You need your rest.”
Becca nodded, but something sat wrong in the pit of her stomach.
Not bad.
Just… off.
As she decided, but didn’t feel like she truly had the autonomy to make it.
Guilt Wrapped in Love
Days later, Becca mentioned wanting to go out again.
“I feel like I should start going out with them sometimes,” she said absently as she folded laundry.
Lee didn’t respond for a moment.
Then asked, “Why?”
Becca looked at him. “Why what?”
“Why do you want to go out with your coworkers?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “Because we’re coworkers.”
He nodded slowly. “You don’t spend enough time with me as it is?”
She paused. “Don’t say that.”
“I’ m not accusing you of anything,” he quickly said.
But the words stung either way.
“I just thought maybe I should.”
Lee walked closer to her then.
“No,” he said softly. “I like spending time with you.”
That sounded nice.
But there was an undertone to it that couldn’t be unseen.
Lee continued.
“You and me.”
As if the universe revolved around only them.
As if her desires and wants didn’t matter as much as his.
- Writer
