Chapter 10: The First Isolation Without a Rule
928 Words
She noticed subtleties she didn’t vocalize at first.
Every time she wanted to make plans, Lee had an excuse as to why it probably wasn’t a great idea.
Never explicit, “Don’t go.”
But instead filled with:
“You’ve been so tired lately.”
“You really don’t know them that well.”
“You spend so little time at home already.”
And every excuse sounded valid.
That was the danger of it.
After enough of those conversations, Becca said, “I feel like you don’t want me to go anywhere without you.”
Lee blinked at her. “Girl, that’s not what I’m saying.”
“What are you saying then?” she asked gently.
He took a step closer to her.
“I’m saying I miss you when you’re gone.”
Her tone softened. “That’s not the same thing.”
“I know.” He paused. “But it kind of feels like it to me.”
The World Starts Getting Smaller
Becca stopped making plans as much.
Not because Lee said she couldn’t.
She just didn’t want to deal with the explanation after.
With him giving her guilt trips instead of respecting her decision.
Watching him go quiet afterward.
Not angry… just distant.
Those moments away from him began to lose their appeal because of how he reacted.
Why should she go out with friends if it upsets the one person she came home to?
---
One night, she finally said, “I feel like I’m adjusting my whole life for tiny things I didn’t think were a big deal before.”
Lee locked eyes with her. “Like what?”
Becca took a deep breath.
“Little things. Like those I spend time with. Or where I go.” She paused. “Or what I have to say when I get home about why I left.”
There was silence.
And then he said quietly, “I just want to be involved in your life.”
Becca nodded. “You are.”
He shook his head. “I want to feel like I am.”
Those words weren’t controlled.
They were love… distorted.
And because Becca loved him, she mistook it for the former.
Emotional Pressure Begins
The guilt soon replaced any arguments they had.
If Becca went out, Lee wouldn’t yell.
He wouldn’t act upset.
He’d simply go quietly.
Withdraw into his shell until she came back home.
And then he would apologize.
“I just missed you.” Or “I guess I’m so used to having you around now.” Or “I didn’t realize you were going to be gone that long.”
He’d say things to remind her that she made him unhappy when she left.
But never in any overt way that she could fight back.
Days turned to weeks, and Becca knew something had to be said.
“This feels like I’m doing something wrong by just leaving the house,” Becca confessed one night.
Lee frowned at her. “Baby, that’s not what I want.”
“What do you want then?” She snapped, realizing how hypocritical she sounded.
He hesitated.
“What I want,” he began, “Is to feel like I’m the most important thing in your life.”
That felt different.
Because he hadn’t told her what to do.
He told her how he felt.
And feelings were much harder to dispute than concrete rules.
Becca sat down on the couch next to him slowly.
“I don’t know how to make you feel that,” she whispered.
Lee stared at her for what felt like years.
“You already do.”
But instead of soothing her, it gave her.
And blame that she would soon accept because this was how control could masquerade as love.
It lets you believe you were choosing it.
Nodding along every step of the way.
Even when you weren’t.
The Questions Never Stopped
By the time Becca realized how many questions Lee asked, it wasn’t weird anymore.
Or at least normal enough that she didn’t think about it.
“How was work?”
That wasn’t weird.
But it wasn’t where he stopped asking questions anymore.
“Who worked with you?”
“Was Mark there?”
“Who closed with you?”
“Why was your shift so long today?”
---
Becca slammed her keys down on the kitchen counter and kicked off her shoes.
Long day.
Long week.
Long month.
She was beyond tired.
Lee looked up from the couch.
“You’re late.”
Becca checked her watch.
“By fifteen minutes.”
“What happened?”
“I had to stay late and help clean.”
“Helped who?”
She pinched her eyes shut for a second.
“Lee.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No, what did you two talk about?” he persisted.
She whirled around.
“I shouldn’t need a report every time I walk in your damn door.”
The air was still.
She instantly regretted speaking up.
Not because she was wrong.
But because she knew where that conversation was going.
---
Lee pushed off the couch slowly.
“I ask you these questions because I care about you.”
Becca sighed.
“I know.”
“Then why do you act like it’s a bad thing?”
His tone wasn’t even raised.
That made it worse.
Because now she felt like she was hurting him.
And suddenly the conversation was about that instead of why she didn’t want to talk.
- Writer
