Chapter 11: The Friend She Stopped Calling
974 Words
Her friend Sarah was the first to point it out.
“You’ve been hiding from me.”
Becca chuckled on the other end of the phone. “I’ve just been busy.”
Sarah snorted loudly. “You used to call me every single day.”
“Life happens.” She dodged.
“Or boyfriends happen.”
Becca stiffened at her words.
“That’s not fair.”
Sarah was silent for a moment.
Then cautiously said, “I’m not saying he treats you badly.”
“But?”
“But every time I ask you to hang out, you have an excuse.”
Becca dropped heavily into her kitchen chair.
“It’s not like that.”
“Then how is it?” Sarah continued.
She opened her mouth. But no words came out.
Because she didn’t know how to explain it to herself anymore.
---
Lee noticed later that night she was distracted.
“What are you thinking about?”
Becca paused before answering. “Sarah.”
His eyes narrowed immediately.
Just barely.
But enough for him to ask, “What about her?”
“Nothing.” She lay through her teeth.
“What did she say?”
---
Becca looked at him pointedly.
“Why does it matter what she says?”
Lee crossed his arms defensively. “It matters because she doesn’t like me.”
She was taken aback by how certain he sounded.
“She didn’t say that.”
“She doesn’t have to.”
The First Real Argument
Sarah invited Becca to lunch a few weeks later.
Just lunch. Nothing crazy. Nothing out of the ordinary.
But instead of declining, Becca accepted before she could talk herself out of it.
When she mentioned it later that night, Lee grew quiet.
Dangerously quiet.
“Hey, you seem upset.”
“No…” She immediately knew that meant he was.
---
She perched on the couch next to him.
“It’s just lunch.”
“I know.”
“With Sarah.” He still didn’t look at her.
“I know.”
“Why are you being weird about it?”
He finally locked eyes with her.
“I just think it’s funny,” Lee said.
Becca felt something claw into her stomach.
“What?”
“That you have time for everyone else but me.”
There it was. The guilt. Again.
---
“What do you mean by that?” Becca cut in hastily.
“It’s not fair.”
Lee chuckled dryly. “Every day I try to make time for you.”
“I know, and I appreciate that,” Becca replied softly.
“But?” He pushed.
“There’s no but.” She counted, fighting past the guilt that rose in her chest.
Lee’s jaw clenched.
---
“You know what?” he said suddenly.
“Don’t you know what’s. We already talked about this.”
“No, we didn’t.” He stood up from the couch, silent. But still angry.
“Lee- “
“No, seriously, go.” He kept his voice even.
Which was when Becca knew it was worse than yelling. Silent anger.
---
She went to lunch that day.
But sat there anxiously the entire time.
Checking her watch. Checking her phone.
Waiting.
She knew he wouldn’t say something.
But she couldn’t help the guilt that lodged in her throat.
Walking on Eggshells
Months went by.
The arguments became less frequent.
Not because they stopped wanting to talk.
But because Becca learned how to avoid them.
---
She stopped mentioning certain coworkers' names.
Stopped telling him about invitations.
Stopped talking about casual conversations with friends.
It wasn’t worth the hassle.
---
Sarah called her one night.
Becca stared at the phone.
Let it ring.
Then ring again.
Then cut the call.
---
Lee looked up from his dinner.
“Who was that?”
“Nobody.” She said too quickly.
Which was a lie. Not the first time she had done that.
---
He nodded at her answer after a few seconds.
Smiled even.
“Good.”
Just that one word made Becca sick to her stomach.
Possession
They talked late that night.
One of those conversations that started small and escalated far too big.
---
“You know, Becca,” Lee said slowly as he rubbed her back. “Sometimes I think you don’t realize how much I love you.”
Becca whipped her head up to look at him.
“What?” She asked dryly.
“I would do anything for you.” He responded by squeezing her tighter.
“I know you would.”
“I would.” He repeated sitting up straight.
“And I think you’re the only person who’ll ever love me like you.”
---
At first, she smiled at his words.
But the feeling quickly faded.
---
Becca frowned minutely. “That sounds like you’re trying to compete with someone.”
“What?” He asked, dumbfounded.
“Love.” She enunciated clearly. “You can’t love me more than someone else.”
Lee stared at her, confused.
“Where did that come from?”
“Well, haven’t you ever wondered why anyone could ever leave me for him?” She continued slowly.
---
He reached for her hand then.
“What?” Becca snapped at him, suddenly afraid.
“I love you so much, Becca.” He said, quietly gripping her hand.
There it was again.
That line.
The one he used whenever she questioned why he did something.
---
Becca took a shaky breath.
“You’re not going to leave me.”
He squeezed her tighter still.
“What makes you say that? You seem so distant all the time.” He warned.
---
She stared at him.
Wanting to scream.
Telling herself to calm down.
Why did he have to turn everything into guilt?
- Writer
