The Apathetic Knight

Chapter 1 - Kynareth

Chapter 1 – Kynareth

August, 305 Ashland Rule

My world wasn't particularly exciting.

Most of my time was spent in my chambers, playing dolls with maids, going through etiquette lessons with my twin brother and trying to stay safe under the protection of his knight.

We stayed in a shared bedroom, and though he was often taken outside and enjoyed spending time with the knights and joining father out and about around the castle...I was to remain in my chambers, diligent to studies.

However, I always got to look forward to a daily gift after my brother's walk around the castle's gardens; a dandelion, the sigil of the young lions of the Severing duchy. We had dandelions decorating the castle, embroidered into clothing and handkerchiefs, toys...

Each day, just before lunch time, my brother would bring me a dandelion because I wasn't permitted to join his walks with the knights.

It was mine and Astaroth's fifth birthday, when I found out that the duchess wasn't actually our mother.

I'd needed to have—what I was informed was—another knight assigned to me, at our birthday party.

My knight had been caught outside of the castle, drinking and gambling with friends, rather than outside of my chambers and ready to escort me to the party where he was supposed to have been...

Astaroth's knight, Aaron, shook his head and groaned, resting his face in his hand. "Of course, Jacob is not here. None of these knights seem to take this seriously," he had grumbled.

"What do you mean, Sir Aaron?" Astaroth asked.

"This is the third knight that your sister has had assigned to protect her, young lord...unfortunately, none of them have taken the job to heart."

"But...why?" My brother asked. "You protect me just fine. What is the problem with her?"

Aaron shook his head. "It isn't my place to tell you, young lord. Duke Severing has commanded that the staff not speak of it in front of the two of you."

Astaroth crossed his arms, huffing and looking annoyed with a stomp of his foot even as the maid continued to fasten his buttons into place on his coat. My heart thumped hard when he got mad on my behalf. It always seemed like the only one who wasn't annoyed to play with me was my brother himself, as the others made it seem like a chore, and Astaroth had never thought of that as being fair.

After all, none of the staff seemed annoyed to spend time with him.

My maid glanced at me. "The gown has purple and blue tones, miss. Which would you prefer for a ribbon?" She asked, holding up a purple ribbon and a blue one, leaving the choice to me.

"I favor the blue," I smiled up at her, and she clapped her hands, giggling.

"I thought you would!" She rolled her eyes with a bit of a grin in place. "Like your brother, such a tomboy. I was right, I know our little miss really well!" She grinned, helping to fasten the ribbon into my braid, and another with a blue silk and lace flower attached to it around my neck. "All done! You look splendid, miss."

"You do," Sir Aaron smiled, bowing at the waist to me. "Both of you look great, the young lord and lady of the castle."

I glanced at Astaroth, and he beamed at me, holding his arm out for me. I took it, looping my arm with his so that he could escort me to the banquet hall.

It was a lucky thing, to be born with a brother the same age as me in order to be able practice all of my etiquette with.

We got to be trained together, rather than strictly learning by being told or having to use servants to demonstrate. We were able to be shown first hand. One day, I would be using these skills with a man who would court me, become my betrothed and then marry me. The same was true for my brother, whom would use these skills on his bride in the future...though, the thought gave me a sour feeling.

I tried not to linger on that, brought back to the correct way to hold his arm and keeping the proper stride pattern and body stance in mind.

On occasions where we had parties and other important events such as these, Astaroth and I went to them together, with him acting as my escort.

Now, if only my debaucherously behaving knight had been in his place...

I sighed, letting my brother escort me with no fuss...

However, when we had reached the banquet hall, my father and mother startled to see that, though his knight stood a step behind him, my knight was nowhere to be seen.

"Again?" My mother whispered, clasping her hand over her mouth, glancing at my father as the room hushed almost instantaneously for a moment.

My father gripped the arms of his throne, before he stood slowly, coming to stand before me. "Where is your knight, Kynareth?" He asked me.

I lowered my head. "I know not, father."

He picked up a glass of wine on the table nearby, and chugged down the red liquid before he slung the empty glass at the wall, and we startled as it shattered. As I trembled, Astaroth quickly patted my shaking hand on his arm and clutched a bit tighter to me, comforting me against the show of wrath.

I always felt like it was my fault, and I always seemed to be causing problems. I tried to ignore the pain rushing in my heart as people around us whispered and shot me dirty looks.

Father glanced to a knight by the door of the entrance hall. "Go and locate Sir Jacob...now."

The knight bowed, and rushed off to my father's bidding, even as my father took my free hand, and led me back to the throne.

He sat, having me sit by his leg on the steps at the foot of his throne while Astaroth took his place standing nearby as we waited, soft whispers murmuring through the room around us.

Finally, the knight that father had sent off burst back into the room, and my knight, red-faced and panting, came and kneeled before us.

"I deeply apologize for my blunder, your graces!" He said, pressing his face to the floor. "I hadn't been paying attention to the time!"

"This is the third time, now, that a knight has left my daughter's side to find more entertaining activities to perform, rather than doing their job and protecting her. How many times must we address this? Is it so difficult to watch after a young girl? Is it really so taxing?" My father asked, exasperated. "She already stays mostly confined to her chambers in an attempt to make it easier! You even have shifts, where other knights relieve you so that you may take a break and sleep!

"You could simply wait until your days off to participate in your fun, but no. You have to leave her side to go drink and gamble. Do you wish to know what you truly gamble with, however?" He asked. "You gamble with her life," he said, and I could see the knight's face turn a pale shade of blue as the blood drained from his face. "And thus, you gamble with your own."

"I apologize for offending the graces!" He cried, trembling.

"You weren't sorry when you left my daughter's side!" My mother said.

"It was wrong of me to leave Kynareth—"

"It is 'Lady Kynareth' to you, mongrel!" My father snarled, and I flinched. "Learn your position. You are a knight. She is my child."

The knight glared up at me for a moment, and I felt my heart drop. "Why should I address her as such when she isn't a trueborn, knight faction family lady?" The knight mumbled under his breath.

My father heard him, though.

I startled with a cry of surprise when my father was on his feet, a sword pressed to the knight's throat and me shoved roughly behind him to the ground as he stood between us, a defensive stance.

"What did you just say?" He asked.

"The true duchess didn't give birth to the children! I understand the son, lord, knowing that he was your only chance for an heir, but the girl—"

"Lady Kynareth is my daughter, and just as much my child as young Lord Astaroth is. These children have been raised with my duchess as their mother, and thus she will continue to be. How dare you spout such nonsense in front of the duchess and her children."

"And how dare you raise them on that lie! At least Astaroth has knight's aura! That girl and her dirty mage-blood—" The knight shouted but didn't get to finish.

I sobbed when Jacob's head was taken off, and it hit the floor with a sickening thump, rolling around at his feet.

My father pulled out his handkerchief, wiping the blood off of his long-sword, and sheathed it as he glanced at a maid.

"Get this cleaned up," he instructed, and she rushed to do his bidding even as I felt the blood leave my head and I felt woozy. "Kynareth?" My father asked, taking my shoulders into his hands, studying me.

He looked off to the side, calling for a doctor and lifted me into his arms, and as everything went black, I heard my father apologizing into my ear as I was taken by a knight and carried off to my room.

*

When I came to, Astaroth was clinging to me, sniffling into the blankets at my side, and my father sat on the edge of my bed, talking with the doctor.

I groaned, and their attention came to me.

"I am sorry, Kynareth," father said, sheepish. "I wasn't thinking...you must have been quite surprised. Worry not, the blood will come out of your clothes and we got you cleaned up," he said.

"Sister!" My brother cried, hugging me. "Are you alright?"

I smiled, and he pressed his lips to my forehead. "I think so, brother."

Father smiled at us, and he brought us both to sit on his lap. "I need to explain something to you both." He took a deep breath. "What the knight said...was true. Your mother, the duchess, did not give birth to you. Your mother wasn't able to give birth to children, you see. Unfortunately, to be able to stay the duke of these lands, I had to have children. I had fought a war to win this position, and I couldn't just let it slip from my grasp so easily. The king himself had asked me to get to this position. So, I had to have children with a different woman. Your mother loves you both very much, and she sees you two as her own children. You each should continue to treat her like your mother, because she was the one that I had chosen to be your mother."

We smiled at each other, satisfied enough with his explanation for now, and agreed that we wouldn't change toward the duchess.

She had always been a bit awkward toward us, but never mean or bothered by us. She had always been kind to us.

I glanced at my father. "Why is it so hard for me to find a knight who wishes to protect me?" I asked, and his face got somber.

"While the king had my mistress and I marry to make you two legitimate children, and gave you my last name so that Astaroth could become the heir to the house...you were, honestly, unexpected. You were an extra child, and you are a daughter. The knights are very fond of the duchess, you see. They feel that she is shamed by this, despite that she took on the role of your mother. They don't voice it with Astaroth because he is a son...but a daughter, as well, seems to be an extra slap in the face to them, because it was seen as an extra blow to the duchess. Women do not hold the same value to a duke that a son does...not in the same way." He sighed.

"Then what is our value...?" I asked.

"When you are older, Kynareth, you will understand your purpose, and what I mean by this. You will learn your value to the house. For now, however, you do not need to worry about it."

"But...that knight said mage—"

"We are finished with this discussion for now," my father interrupted my brother, and his tone left no room to argue. I didn't know what it meant that I had mage blood, but it must not be a good thing if father shut it down the moment it was mentioned. "Don't worry. When you come of age, Astaroth will be taking over your affairs and your care, and he, being much closer to you, will be better able to explain things to you."

"Astaroth will be taking over my affairs?" I asked.

"A woman of noble status is known to remain in the care of her father until she comes of age. After she makes her social debut, any brothers she may have will take over her affairs, management, marriage, and so on. Astaroth is already beginning to undergo training on how to manage your future on your behalf. Once you marry, your husband and his family will take over your management."

As he stood to leave, he glanced at a news article that lay on the table nearby.

He glanced back at Sir Aaron, and he shrugged with a smile, glancing at my brother. "It seems that the young Lord has taken an interest in the news about that squire."

Father picked up the article and began to read it aloud.

"'Squire Seryn Von Leonhart, of the Leonhart Knight's household, shows defiance against the King Ashland, shaming his father Regis Von Leonhart, and as punishment, was thrown into the lion pit without a weapon. As you may be aware, as a squire is coming upon the age of knighting, he will be thrown into a den of beasts after his family's namesake while armed. Only then will he be proven to be knight-worthy, and begin full-fledged knight training upon being sent to the Knight's Order. Against all odds, young Seryn Leonhart survived the onslaught of the lion, and though severely injured in the face, managed to slay the beast without a weapon.

"Now praised as a prodigy fighter, the King has thrown the boy into prison as he still refuses to swear the Imperial Knight's Oath at this time, and will be imprisoned until further notice.'" My father scoffed. "All this, at only the age of eleven? He is quite strong indeed, taking on a lion unarmed and managing to slay the beast with his bare hands at his age. He truly is a miracle prodigy of battle. If he could put aside his personal issues and become a knight, he will be highly sought after indeed. He won't be sought after by any noble until he gets that attitude in check, though. He's lucky to have been spared." With that, my father glanced at us one last time, before he strode out of the room.

I didn't know this at the time, but what my father said would be a great catalyst for my future...

*

December, 311 A.R.

It was the Christmas season, and my brother and I were now eleven years old. It would be our coming-of-age soon enough, and we were now in the full-throws of training for our roles.

As soon as we had turned ten, my father declared that it was no longer appropriate for my brother to be attached at the hip with me the way that we were.

Growing up together in a shared chamber had been necessary to help protect me, so that at least my brother's knights would fight on my behalf since I couldn't seem to get any of my own, but now, he was becoming a young man and I was becoming a young lady.

Father no longer found it sweet and endearing that my brother and I gave each other forehead kisses, lingering hugs, held hands, or that he found us sleeping in one bed more than once...even after a warning.

Astaroth and I had always been very close, but now, it was deemed as a bit...too close.

It was particularly true when father saw my brother on his knees in front of me as I sat on a stool, crying with scraped knees from tripping, and had my gown hiked up to my thighs so that he could clean and bandage my wounds personally when the maids hadn't acted upon it.

Now, my brother was going through rigorous and extensive Lord Training, as well as Knight's training. He was learning how to take over the duchy and use his knight's aura, how to fight in battle.

If war arrived, our father would be sent away to war, and brother would be left to defend the duchy. If father was called to the battlefield, it was my brother's responsibility to marry a nice, high-ranking noble lady, and begin working toward conceiving an heir to the house.

Worst case scenario, father would fall on the field of battle, and brother would have to rush off to war, hopefully with an heir on the way and safely tucked away at home.

However, although war seemed to be coming upon us soon, things weren't bad enough to call for my father being sent away to war...not yet.

My father was a seasoned warrior, though, so I wasn't too worried about him. He was powerful, and had won even the duchy from two strong, seasoned war-lords.

My job, as the daughter of the duke and the sister of the ducal heir...hadn't been revealed to me as of yet, but all I had been learning was etiquette, homemaking skills, sewing, dancing, embroidery...I had even started to undergo training on how to rear children, given a doll to practice with. Though, at the time, I could not see how that would be my purpose.

Outside of my studies, I was fairly ignored and left to sit and twiddle my thumbs, alone, in my chambers. I didn't have anyone m my age to play with, and my father stayed rather busy in his duties with running the territory and training Astaroth for that same role.

I would, later in life, feel a fool for not realizing that this was exactly to be my purpose in life. To carry, bear and rear children for an appropriate husband.

I sighed as I got prepared for the party. The Christmas party that was held each year, at a different noble household, was being held at our duchy this year. We were honored, because even the Sorcerer's Tower and the Knight's Order was going to be there, as well as the Imperial family. It was going to be quite an event.

It was rare that the Knight's faction and the Mage's faction joined together in peace at any event, but the king was trying to strengthen our ties to make our nation stronger. War was on the horizon, and so we needed to be united as a country. We couldn't afford to be in a civil war if we were attacked.

To save face, my father was going to escort me himself because my fourth assigned knight had already been fired, now.

My brother would be helping with organizing things; part of his training to be the duke, so it was important that he was overseeing servants and their tasks and making sure everything was being taken care of properly. It was a big task, considering the importance of the guests that would be arriving shortly.

He had to ensure that all of the rooms for our overnight guests were prepared, appropriate amount of bedding and food prepared, making sure everything was right.

Father was really putting his trust in Astaroth, and though I hated that he wouldn't be able to escort me, it was a nice change of pace to see my brother being given some trust and responsibility. I trusted that he would do well.

I sighed as the maids got me dressed, and I glanced out the window of my tower—the South Tower—to the North Tower, and I thought of my brother, the twin who was born first, the son...

We'd been deemed a little too close and separated, yes. I could admit that perhaps it was a bit frowned upon, how completely dependent we were on one another. Astaroth was my closest person, my only friend...

However, we still gazed out of our towers at one another.

Truthfully, I wished that he could save me from the never-ending drivel that I had to endure, locked away in that tower and hearing about the reproductive system and what my future husband would expect of me.

I had to learn all of the court symbols and messages, all of the proper procedure...when I just wanted to spend time with the only friend that I had. Astaroth was the only person that I had who I could talk to, who I could feel wanted to be my friend, and they were trying to keep him from me.

I had already been moved into the South Tower, with a beautiful view of the sea to the east, the courtyard and central garden of the estate, and my brother's tower to the North, the front side of the castle.

From his windows, he could look back at my tower, and straight through to the other side of his room, he could go to the opposite window and look out to the front of the castle, the gates, the forest, etcetera.

His room was far superior, in its position, but it was also the first target. Both of the front towers were the first thing you saw as you approached the castle, or so we had been told. I had never been outside of the castle walls.

Astaroth had been allowed to go out and inspect the duchy with father whenever he went, since he turned ten, but I had been confined and forced to participate in my studies.

I learned that I didn't have any knights willing to protect me properly, my maid and I were confined to life in my tower, with very little time outside of those chambers. The maids who worked with me seemed to resent me for being stuck inside so much, though my favorite maid, Alice—a young woman a few years older than I was—was always kind and never mean to me.

It was a boring, sheltered, distressing life of busy tutoring and studying, and isolation.

The castle guards were the only ones guarding my chamber now, and even they didn't do a great job. Often times, my maid and I caught them slacking off. I learned early to accept the apathy.

I was taught proper eating and table manners, proper meeting behavior, the list of lords and ladies, the list of the Knight's Order's knight families, their rankings...

I was taught to be a proper noble lady, from sleeping to walking.

Even how to deal with my womanly times, which I had yet to experience but would soon, according to the maids, and how to behave in my courting whenever it began, and what was and wasn't proper or acceptable.

I spent my life waiting for the day that we would reach the coming-of-age ceremony and I would be able to get my own personal knight, and then soon after, I would able to find a handsome man to marry and get me out of this cumbersome existence.

If I couldn't be with Astaroth, I would rather not be here...but I wanted to stay with Astaroth.

Astaroth was my shining star in this dark place. Perhaps, one day—

"We're done, my lady!" The maid said in a happy tune and interrupting my thoughts, and I turned to face the mirror.

I looked well enough.

The dress was tight but still modest enough to cover me appropriately, as I was still chaste.

The gown was a deep, beautiful plum color, and the skirt gradually turned from purple to black as it reached the floor. The ties of my gown were black lace, and the sleeves and shoulders were black lace with some of the purple material throughout, as well.

My hair was pinned into a braid, and my face had light powder on it with just the slightest hint of coral stain on my lips.

It wasn't proper to be overly-dolled up at my age, but this was a beautiful example of how to bring out my beauty simply and elegantly. My eyes popped against the purple.

I smiled. "A great job as always, Alice," I smiled, and the maid giggled, clapping her hands together. I truly loved this maid. She had only recently started serving me, but she was my favorite by far.

I stepped toward the door of my chambers, and the guard there opened it to reveal my father, dressed in brilliant shades of red and purple with accents of black.

"Ah, so the dresser was correct! I seem to match both of you well enough." He glanced at his outfit, and I startled, realizing that he must have met with the clothes designer himself and found out the color scheme of my outfit, having his own outfit designed around ours.

I was strangely...touched by the gesture.

He held his arm out for me, and I smiled and curtsied, looping my arm with his own, and letting him and his personal Knight lead me out of my room and down the stairs of the tower, through the door that led to the hall, and through the halls to the banquet hall.

It was already bustling, servants with trays rushing around and finishing preparations as guests began to arrive, and as we reached the banquet hall, father and I were announced and he strode confidently into the room, my arm in his own.

I heard gasps and saw people staring, and I glanced up at my brilliant-looking father. His face was full of confidence, but he smirked at me.

"Smile and hold your head high, Kynareth—all of their focus is upon you, my daughter."

I startled a bit, glancing around the room, and I felt myself straighten my posture, forcing my body to react how I had always been taught; "Tall and Proud, a Noble lady stands, for with Pride and honor, she will be offered many hands."

It was true, I saw in this moment. The moment that I stood taller and smiled, forcing a façade of confidence that I put on for show, I noticed the looks become much more notable as the eyes followed us through the room.

I wondered, now, if my father had more intention behind escorting me himself this evening. I couldn't fathom why he would tell me that their focus was on me. That made a strange, unsettled feeling begin whirling around in my tummy.

Why did I feel so ill at ease...?