The truth untold.
418 Words
Today is our photoshoot and recording of a song. Yes Since I did a face reveal I have to go for a photo-shoot too.
As we are here Jin started his infamous 'Dad Jokes' I started laughing, he's silly.
I laughed so hard that my eyes started watering, I tried to stop but I failed.
"Seriously. This is ridiculous if you find this funny "-No one other than Suga says.
"I know- it's not- funny - but still, every...one's reactions ....make me ...laugh at him...Just Save... Me "- I said between laughs.
Members started teasing me, it didn't help then.
"You have no manners girl, no manners at all."- RM said in a deep scary voice.
It stirred those memories in my mind that I got afraid , my body stiffened , my mind full of those things I never thought would come back.
No no no!
"Just go away" -I winced a little out of fear.
"Sorry I just remembered something,"-I said - "let's start recording now "-I forced a fake smile I could muster.
I glanced at my brother who looked worriedly at me and nodded that I'm fine.
We finished recording my mood was still off Jin's dad jokes were not a help at all so I thought the best idea to clear my head is my secret place.
I sat calmly , my head on my knees with my arms around them. I played 'Awake ' in high volume so I cannot hear anyone ,on my player and plugged the earphones, yes this is the best thing to calm yourself. Calm place, song and emotions. I cried letting it all out.
Remembering the pain, the scars in my life , those never ending haunted dreams. I just wished they never come true.
I have my noteboook with me I wrote down the lines.
It hurts
hurts a lot
The world has only seen outer me
angry and smiling whenever necessary
but nobody knows the inner me - the innocent me
is hurt badly
those fears no one can see in my eyes
But they are here, I'm vulnerable
no one can understand.
a smile can shrug it off ,
but it hurts.'
I wrote and threw it away.
I cried silently.
No one knows.
no one understands, I want to get rid of this fear, those horrible dreams.
Seems like my past will continue haunting me like this.
with that I threw the notebook to somewhere so that it cannot suffer my rage again.
- Writer
