Chaotic Colors

The First time...

Liham's P.O.V

Last Night was very Unexpected, seeing Kale laying on the grass field on the middle of the night full of blood.... I think he hurt his self again.

Why am I always the one who always see him in that situation, It was  literally painful seeing him, It's not that I care and like him but he seems so... Lonely and fragile that made me insane and think that I needed to protect and keep an eye on him. 

He always look so exhausted and wreck, and now he's back again hurting his self. 

When I first met Kale he was this super quiet type of a person, very hard to approach and always has his scary aura keeping in him but, he's brave and kind... 

 It was second week of school then when I  gave my attention on him, He was always walking alone and have no friends, I don't see him smile, neither heard him laugh, and even see him enjoying his life.... He was always gloomy, depressed and sorrowful he was somehow the reflection of me on the  inside. 

I know that I now can't deny that I really worry for him, it's because I pity him none anymore... 

...

The first time I knew that he was hurting his self was the time that he changed in gym clothes and removed his hoodie when no one was around... I saw bandages on his wrist that has blood stains on it, I hid on the cabin to observe his wounds, It doesn't look like he was accidentally wounded but I looked like he really did it on purpose. 

He has a good built and feminine body as well as his skin looking so smooth summing up the rays of the sun hitting his body. 

that's when I learned to why He always wears a hoodie, it is for covering his scars. I was about to tease him about that but, his looks always push me to withdraw my plans, it's like I was protecting him even though I was the villain of the story. 

I found myself staring at him whenever I see him walking alone as if the motion of his movements are too slow to see each movements from afar. 

I find each movement from him interesting and intriguing. When ever I see him even without my own consciousness. although I don't want to see him I just feel lost by the insanity of life making me feel where his  invisible presence comes at. 

I want to live a life that can make me forget the itch of wanting to play, yet he was this broken note  I wanted  to fix.

And when The first time  I saw him, met him, and know him I wanted to tell him everything the words that I never got to say...

***

I head home after Kale left me in the park of this big  villa, maybe he lives here too...?

 I haven't seen him in this villa once, did he get lost or what?

he's really giving me a pain! without even knowing a Goddamn reason  I ran as fast as I could finding him, that brat, I'll kill him once I see him! 

I was just out for a run why did I meet that punk? However because of Him the thoughts that keeps haunting me was now gone because of him... 

well it's too late to go home now, I need to find him. 

it's not that I like him or what I was just curious what would he look if he smile, what will his eyes looks like, what would it feel if he smiles at me.... 

" Kale!" I scream and ran towards the small fountain at the round ball of the villa. 

"ngh" 

!!!

I found him.... 

I ran towards him and carry him to the bench. It's already midnight and the wind are  as cold as ice,  I cannot think of any excuse now, I just want to secure this boy who's laying in the ground floors and bleeding. 

"   Hey... don't die on me!!!" I shouted at him 

" Damn you Rites Boy! You made me carry the s**t of you! Don't die until I let you die!" I said annoyed

is it too harsh for a dying person to hear these words from me? Oh, well as if I'd let him  die yet...

I don't know where he lives so for the mean time I'll let him crash at my place, 

I-it's not that I want him at my house! I just need to let him rest there and kick him out after he take some little rest. 

This man is light as feather! is he even eating right? 

" no... I'm sorry... I didn't... Ngh" He as murmuring something yet I can't understand anything he's saying. 

I reached home and lay him on the couch sweating and murmuring. 

I squatted on the floor next to him and stared at him for a moment. 

"Mom..." He murmured again is he dreaming about his mother? speaking of Mom's I saw him acting very sensitive in regards to his mom...  does he have something in his shoulder?

I sighed and stand up. 

" such a pain in the ass": I just said and was about to walk to get some clean cloth to clean this mess in my couch

* Grabs* 

"!!!"

" No.. Don't go... Please" He said in between his sobs 

Jesus!  where did that Scary tough man I fought just now? He just said he doesn't want to see my face again and now he's clinging to me, and don't want to go? Am I a big lose to him. Huh, I know right I'm too charming even for boys---

" Mom..." he whispers and didn't let my hand go. 

Oh, he's dreaming about his mother.. My bad.. 

what a shame--Oh I mean what a shame he's missing his mom.... 

tsk. what's the point of explaining to myself??

I sighed and kneel down to lengthen my face to his face and patted his head and to let him fall asleep 

"yeah, yeah you dumb, I wont go okay? I'll just get a clean cloth for you" I said to him and keep caressing and patting his head until he finally loosen up and fast sound asleep. His long lashes were wet due the tears he pours earlier. He looks so fragile

Why are you so hard on yourself, scary kitten?

You keep me want to hold you

"this i***t wants me to die inside this feeling" I whisper in between my sighs and caresses his face. 

" /// " 

Our faces are so close together it feels like I can feel he's breathing in me.  All I heard was his heart beats that beats so fast yet so slow. It's like a melody of disaster. 

 A broken music, that just sounded just  like my heart. 

It sounded so kind that made me feel so sad that I feel I can cry. 

As I found myself lost in his music, A disastrous notes and melody flowing in my veins. He moved and groans by the pain in his wounds. 

I stand up and headed to the kitchen to get the first-aid kits and a clean cloth to wipe to his body. 

" S-should I also need to change his Clothes too?"  I asked myself feeling my face so hot. 

" you dummy! of course you need to! Now work!" I scolded myself and ran upstairs to get a spare pyjamas I have. 

After I got the things needed for him to change I  hurriedly ran downstairs and saw him sleeping soundly in the couch... 

A kitten that's sleeping so comfortably. 

" tsk... Is this your first time having a good Night sleep?" I asked him while chuckling, thinking how ridiculous I see myself talking to a sleeping person. 

I walked towards him and squatted to begin the surgery... 

' Kidding HAHAHA '

I removed the bandages he has and saw the scars he has made to his self. I touched it gently and felt the roughness and bumpiness of some raised scars created like a keloids . 

"How long are you enduring this pain in you?"

how many years have you been doing this to yourself?

I finished cleaning all the blood on his hands and now giving him a  Luke warm wipes in his face. 

This is the very first time I touched a face very gently, it's so smooth and soothing.  Why am I even doing this for you?

I, now can't deny the fact that I want to hold him like a first time even this worst times. He's making me so soft to him. 

" it looks like you are punishing yourself from this agony of yours, How can I help you from this Kale?..."  

I asked the sleeping person and stood up and removed his Shirt slowly... 

wait... 

!!!

I'm removing his T-shirt... I- I'm a p*****t! what should I do? Jesus why am I panicking over this? We're both boys! 

With all mustered courage I finally removed his shirt and surprises me with  his fine pale body in front of my eyes. 

" how long are planning on staring at me huh?" Someone asked that left me jolt and saw Kale smirking on me.  I quickly turned my face away and panicking on arranging the first-aid kits that been scattering on the floor. 

I felt like he was slowly sitting up and staring at my back like I was being stab by it. 

Why was I very surprise? I was just helping him.. Nothing more. 

" That's the first time you called me by my name..." He said gently. I slowly faced him and saw him staring  at me. I felt like My ears are burning, It suddenly felt hot in here. 

"w-well, I saw you wounded, you dumb ass, and your stubborn head snap out that pisses me off" I answered him and lent him the pyjamas I was about to put on him. He just weakly smiles at me and wore the shirt and stood up taking his pants... I-in front o-of me?

" H-hey!! What-what are you d-doing?!!" I roared and turn around and heard him chuckle... 

" shut up! You already saw me undressing why are you getting all embarrass now?!" He said to me that made flinch and faced him red headed. 

" and when was that?! " I shouted and glared at him.  

after changing his clothes he acted like he was thinking and look at me through my eyes. 

" As far as I can remember it was when I changed alone in the locker room in gym clothes, I saw you running out after I heard noises from the back locker. " He answered smirking on me. 

He-he saw me? Wh-what now? Is he thinking that I am  this some weird p*****t  watching a boy changing?

" I-I was not peeking or what I was just curious!" I confessed that let him laughed 

Oh he can laugh... But why does it sound so sad to me? 

" Hey, The Liham I know is a jerk why are you so embarrass now? and to think of it, you have a gentler side of you..." He said softly to me and find him staring at his wounds. 

"You mean I'm cool?" I asked and sat beside him. 

" asshole! and I heard all your complaints while carrying me you fucker!" he said that made me laughed

" you deserve that..." I answered him and look at him smiling weakly. Maybe he's tired

" hey you fart! I let you sleep in my castle tonight so go get a rest! or I kick you out!" I said to him while standing up and stretch my hand to loosen up some muscle, I've been panicking now and then because of this guy here!

" hey aren't you asking why I got these crappy scars?" he asked standing up and making an eye contact with me, letting me know he is in pain but limiting in showing his self to me,. 

I scratch my nape and answered him in a serious tone, it's no use If we fight again here, right? and I already decided that even if I am the villain of the story of my life I'll still protect this scary kitten in  front of me. 

" well, if you don't feel on telling me why you have that I don't mind, just don't die okay?" I said and Patted his head gently as as I could and pass him through to take a good shower. 

" yeah..." He answered and sat down again on the couch. 

" yeah... but don't tell anyone about what you saw in me..." He said seriously I just nodded 

" Let's go upstairs there is a room there." I ask him and lead him the ay. 

I want him to tell me everything without forcing him to tell me, I wanted to help him heal, I want to heal him  with all I can... I want him to smile and laugh genuinely even though there is pain in all that smiles and laughters behind. 

" you're still an enemy to me! I just don't want to go home tonight..." He said following me 

" And why is that?" I asked him looking at him in my peripheral vision sounded so cold and harsh

" now that's more okay, I was weirded by you being nice all of a sudden,..." He murmured yet I heard it loud and clear

" should I be happy from that?" I asked sarcastically and laughed secretly. 

" well, I don't want to go in that hell house for now... It always brings me nightmare." He said with a low voice 

" Thanks for letting me stay here tonight, and about the project don't worry I'll finish it alone as my thanks to you, And I now feel really okay, If I'm right you were really worried for me a while ago, now  I feel better than usually. Thanks again" He said and enter in the room I assigned him to sleep on. 

why?... 

" why?" I asked seriously without even looking at him keeping my hands of my pockets. 

"Uhm.. well I have my battle between my demons that I still didn't won. and my step-father is there at this hour... I hate seeing him---"

" why... " I interrupted him. I suddenly felt all the rage in my inside me, I don't understand this... I feel like he'd anger me without knowing the reason is. 

" Liham..." He called me and snap the s**t out of me... 

"  why are telling that you're okay?! you are not okay now.. okay?! and listen to me, I'll help you with the project! don't shoulder  it all you scary kitty!!!" I roared and disappear from his sight

" o--okaaay, geez " - Kale

* Slams* 

I slam the door and droop on the floor. 

"God! why is he like that? smiling and acting tough like that, keeps me reminding of a certain person I hated to recall why I was left!" I complain to my self and wash my face with my bare hands and  again kale's face flash in my mind. 

" That punk really is the pain in the ass! shouldering all works alone again. You can't let yourself suffer again as long as I am here Kale! You scary kitten!" I said to the thin air in my room and my perseverance is raging. 

I hate you and I'll protect you from that demon in you, you say... 

you annoy me and I'll help you... 

You want to be alone but I want to be there even though I don't want to

Wait- what?

***

"Thank you"