His Sudden Kiss

ANOTHER STEP CLOSER

"I hope you don’t mind I am here.”        

I am trying to ease my mind and devour my favorite piece of sweets when Alex comes into the kitchen, uninvited. It makes my nerve shaking again at the moment he shows his poker face between the fridge door and me. He grins profusely probably trying to cheer me up.

It’s almost dawn and he still doesn’t fall asleep. I guess it’s a habit of a nocturnal singer.

"Sadly, yes." I reply trying to resist my eyes and my head from facing him.

 The corner of my eyes catch him fidgeting with the hem of his leather jacket but my mind choose to ignore. As a matter of fact, I don’t need him near me. I am going to treat him just as a tool as he should be though I know I will probably hard to survive without him later. I still think he is unwanted in my problem.

"I didn't know you have the ownership of the house." I speak but obviously I am trying to be sarcastic about it. Fortunately, my sarcastic remark makes him stop fidgeting and instantly a small cheeky grin appears on his face.

 "Actually, yes. I am the guarantor this peaceful household." He answers, proudly. My head quickly snaps to where he stands but quickly snap back regretting what I just said.

 In that one second moment, I forget that he is my friend's cousin. Of course, he has the accessibility to the house. And in another seconds, I forget that I am living together with Gwyneth and that make me the tenant of this house. I sigh to my stupidity and quietly trying to get out of the small kitchen.

 To be honest, I am not ready to face him. I am a loud person, basically. I don’t want to be too open and pour all the juices that had happened to me before. I don’t want to be someone who easily getting along with others although it is obviously who I am.

 "Whatever, Alex. Go away." Finally I speak trying to avoid him.

 "How about, no." He replies quickly and starts wiggle his eyebrows. His hazel eyes sparkle as I look into them accidentally. He looks like a kid trying to get his sweets.

 "Then, I will." I reply while quickly trying to walk passes him.

 "No, wait." He says as his hand suddenly reaches mine. His actions make me stop but not my adrenaline.

 I look down to where our hands are when Alex quickly let them go and raises both his hand. He look honestly sorry while my eyes blankly looking at him with no emotion attaches. It has been a long since somebody trying to know me better. There are some who tried but I am too quick to call it quit.

I don’t want to get involve nor do I want them to be involved with me. It is either way.

 "Want to date?" He asks with his round pleading eyes.

 My heart literally stops beating. No, there are beating too fast that I can barely catch up with its pace. It is making my breath halt and my mind stop functioning for a mere two seconds. What is he planning now? It is almost six in the morning and what kind of date he is talking about.

 "What?" I speak as my eyebrows furrow.

 Well, this is the second time he tries to ask me for a date. But today, it is voices directly in front of my face. I am getting confused with this stranger in front of me. Should I think that it is because we are getting closer now? Shall we go out and show off that I am a close friend with this rockstar here?

"No." I reply quickly ignore him and walk out of the kitchen.

 I shall not get anything closer to him. I am not really sure if our plan is going to work or maybe I am the one who gets paranoid here, but I just don’t think being too close to him is a good idea. I carry to much burden to share with some strangers like him. The fact that I am getting paranoid is the proof that I shall never make our situation easy for him.

Gwyneth is not even here to help me. She already fast asleep once Derek leaves earlier that is why we are both here right now. Alex is probably with his nocturnal problem and me with my insomnia. Both of us looking tired, but refuse to sleep.

“I should mash up some breakfast.” He speaks suddenly while looking a glance to his wristwatch.

It is finally bright outside and the sun is slowly rising from the horizon. Finally, I feel a little bit sleepy and think I should try and rest my head on the couch for a while. Alex is still in the kitchen, rummaging something inside the fridge. I couldn’t care less since my eyes slowly dropping and my ears shut off all of the noises.

“You want some coffee?” I hear Alex asks from a distant before my eyes quickly fall asleep.

***

“Good morning!” Gwyneth loud voice startles me. I don’t know when and how I was fast asleep but the sun that shine through the big windows is a little bit hurting to my eyes.

"Oh.My.God.. what are you two doing, huh?" Gwyneth speaks louder as she walks closer to where I am.

 "Huh?"

"Slow down, please. I am tired." Alex who is under me speaks while trying to shuffle his position.

 I look down slowly to where he is and my eyes grow wider. What is he doing down there? I literally can’t bring myself away from him. My legs are stuck in between his legs and obviously our position is kind of intimate. We are too close that it brings a whole different understanding to Gwyneth.

As soon as I manage to pull my legs out, I rush to run away from Gwyneth curious eyes and her very surprise face. There goes my morning trying to play hide and seek with my bestfriend while Alex is still peacefully sleeping on the couch. I wonder since when does he fall asleep right next to me and how does we end up fall asleep that way.

 "No, no, no, pretty girl." Gwyneth pulls the hem of my shirt and quickly stops me midway.

"What.." I reply while my mind is still trying to load what she is going to say.

 "Alex, wake up! Go sleep in your room, right now."

 "Room? He gets a room?" I ask, a bit hazy.

 "Yes, dear. It’s the last room next to the kitchen." She replies while her hand pressing the off button on the TV controller.

 "But..."

 "No buts. Alex go now, you are sleeping like a hog!" She repeats, giving him a small kick to his buttock.

 I don’t know why, but I smile to the sight.

 I wish I am the one who kick him instead. I will give him my full force kick, one and for all.

 "And you girl, don’t keep smiling like that.” She turns to me watching up and down. Her unbelievable face slowly making my day better. Oh my god, she really does sound like a mother. The one beautiful person I really wish I have. Like, literally.

 "Yes, mom." Suddenly Alex and I answer her together as Alex gets up and tries to walk into his room which I don’t remember is actually there. I really thought that this is a two-bedroom apartment. Well, unfortunately I was wrong.

***

"This is my last piece, you jerk!" I shout giving him my utmost deathly stare.

Alex literally just ignores my childish behavior and continues devour into my last piece of my favorite pepperoni pizza. It’s the biggest piece that I save for last.

"Ugh!" I snap.                                                                                               

 "Oh come on. It’s just a pizza." He says while deliciously licking his finger. That pizza is madly delicious though I think I feel hungry again by just remembering it taste. I better reorder them again.

"My pizza." I say softly while grabbing my phone that is on the side table.

 Alex is peacefully walking behind me as I give him my stare and quickly roll my eyes after that. I can hear him chuckles lightly as he washes his hand and lost into his bedroom. My mind suddenly rolling to the day we first met. Sadly, I remember how close we are now that sometimes I decide to ignore him at the first moment we meet again. I can feel that it is so wrong to just be next to him.

Even the thought that he wants to know me better makes me shudder. What is so special about me anyways? My life is surrounded by my wrong decision in my past and I don’t know how to be free from it. I am afraid if I take the wrong path again it will bring an even deeper wound.

 "Done staring, sweetheart?" His voice startles me.

I don’t realize I was staring at his bedroom door since he disappears into his room earlier. He is standing right in front of me, towering me with his height while we both standing an inch close to each other between the kitchen counter and the fridge. We are that close that my mind suddenly reminiscing the moment he kissed me.

My breath halt.

The television on the other hand suddenly shows an unwanted intimacy scene that obviously make us slightly uncomfortable at the moment. I don’t know about him, but I am sure I feel something glitch in his eyes that make my heart tingles a little bit. There is an urge inside me that split between right and wrong.

I am freeze on my spot while he stands on his spot, not moving an inch while deeply staring into my eyes. I know he is trying to find an answer that I will never tell but instead he plays with my heart. A heart that can never lies.

 "uh.."

 "I am going to bed." I say quickly once he tries to open his mouth. I see him rubbing the back of his head for a second before he too turning away and walks slowly towards his bedroom. He is not looking back again even for a glance.

 "Me too." He says before disappear again into his room.