Beside You

Beside You Ch. 23: Give In 2/3

Chapter Twenty-Three: Give In 2/3 (Mature)

Michael moved forward and gently connected his lips to mine.

“Yes.”

Oh f**k.

What have I gotten myself into?

He pulls back so that he can stand up.

I took his outstretched hand and pushed up with my free hand.

“I know I should have said it sooner,” Michael said once we were walking back in the direction of his car, “But you look amazing in that dress.”

I stared at the ground.

My heart thudded so hard against my chest. I couldn’t even begin to describe the emotions that ran through me.

“There are woodchips on the ground here,” he said, “You aren't wearing any shoes.”

“That’s fine,” I said, “I ran through here already.”

I didn’t even realize there were chips of wood or even what the hell I ran across to get where I was.

“Here,” Michael said before he pulled me closer.

“Hold on,” I panicked.

“Just put your arm over my shoulder,” he said.

“You’re hurt,” I said, “You idiot.”

He pulled my arm over his bad shoulder, and he used his other arm to lift me off the ground.

This was the first time another person has picked me up like this.

Not counting when I was a child.

I was a little too big to be picked up like this.

“Michael,” I whined, “Put me down.”

“In a minute,” he said.

I just stared at him as he kept going.

I had to be heavy. Why wasn’t he putting me down?

“Michael,” I said seriously, “I’m heavy. Put me down before you hurt yourself.”

“So what if you’re heavy?” he asked, “I can still hold you.”

My cheeks were on fire, I swear.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said.

“I’m more worried about your feet than I am about my shoulder,” he said, “Buckle up buttercup because I’m not putting you down until we’re at the car.”

It was moments like this that made me love this boy.

How did he not know how to love someone when that’s exactly what this was.

I didn’t want to tell him I would love enough for the both of us because I didn’t know if I could or not.

My ability to love was compromised too.

In a f****d-up way, we were two peas in a pod.

It took a couple of minutes before we reached the car.

Michael slowly released my legs so that I didn’t fall.

The street was a little rough on my feet.

It was sharp. Thankfully I didn’t have to stand on it for too long.

I sat in the back seat behind Michael again.

I watched as he took his seat and pulled the safety belt into the lock at the bottom right of his chair.

It was a pleasant silence that passed between us this time.

Even though I’m confident both of us were nervous about what was to come.

I found my gaze locked on the ear I pulled earlier.

My hand came up to touch it, and he flinched.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “About your ear.”

“Oh,” he said awkwardly, but he kept driving.

“And I’m sorry I slapped you,” I said.

He shook his head, “I deserved it.”

“Well, yeah,” I said, “But I’m still sorry.”

He chuckled, “Okay.”

I rested my cheek on the back shoulder of his chair.

“I’m sorry too,” he said after a minute, “Nothing about you is repulsive. I don’t want you to feel like being with you would make me feel that way.”

I find myself smiling.

“Keep talking like that, and my hymen is going to pop on its own.”

He cleared his throat a little louder than I feel was necessary.

“Keep talking like that, and we won’t make it to the motel at all.”

He lowered the tone of his voice just to say that, and f*****g hell, it hurt.

It was like he tightened his fist around my ovaries.

I felt myself whimper.

“Are we there yet?” I asked.

“Next light,” he said.

It felt like such a long drive. Benny and I walked to the motel before.

It didn’t feel this far.

Was it because of what was waiting for me in the room?

I glanced at Michael again, and I knew it already.

I was nervous. I was excited.

I was scared out of my mind.

This was happening, right?

My finger gently traced the tree branch I could see on his neck.

His neck curled as if he was trying to cut off my contact to his skin.

“Hold off on the touching,” he said, “We’re here.”

He pulled into the lot, and he took in a deep breath once we were parked.

“Wait here a minute,” he said, “I’ll be right back.”

He cut the engine and left me alone in the car.

He wasn’t going to be gone that long, was he?

I was getting anxious the longer I sat there.

After what felt like too long, I saw him coming back.

He pulled open my door, and I didn’t hesitate to get out of the car.

“You got everything?” he asked.

I nodded, but then I remembered my stupid shoes.

I had to get back in through the backseat then crawl over to the front passenger seat to retrieve my heels.

“You could have left them there,” Michael stated.

I just huffed at him before putting the heels on.

It was so that I could be just a little taller next to him.

Once I was planted firmly on the ground outside the car, I shut the door.

Michael was the first to head to the room, and I was a little slower to follow.

These damned shoes hurt, but they helped me concentrate on the pain.

If I thought about what was about to happen, I might just burst into flame.

We made it up the stairs.

I felt my legs start to shake as I watched him unlock the door.

He pushed the door open and then looked back at me.

“You okay?”

I only nodded.

I walked into the room, and he shut the door with us inside.

I turned to look at him, and he was already staring at me.

“So?” I asked.

“Sit on the bed,” he said, “I need to get something.”

I nodded as he walked around me.

I kicked my shoes off and sat on the bed.

He used a key on what I thought was the closet until it opened up to the next room over.

“What the hell?” I asked.

I got up to peek into the room, and I realized we were in the wrong room.

Twenty-six was his usual room, the one he was in now.

“Why do you have two rooms?” I asked.

He pulled open the bedside drawer.

“Did you really want to do it in here?” he asked, “I thought that might bother you.”

Did he just say something incredibly sweet?

Who the f**k was this, and what happened to Michael?

Whatever he pulled out, he put directly into his pocket.

“What did you need?” I asked.

“Condoms,” he said.

He didn’t look at me as he said it, and it felt a little like he might be nervous too.

“Are you going to leave this door open?” I asked.

He nodded, and he finally met my eyes again.

I backed up and made my way back to the bed.

I sat at the foot of the bed.

Michael walked back in and kicked off his shoes.

I didn’t want to just sit here and watch. Well, a little bit, I did.

“First rule,” Michael stated, holding up his index finger, “Don’t ask me about the scars.”

I nodded.

He stood there as if he was waiting for me to say something.

“Anything for you?” he asked, “Any rules you can think of?”

I glanced to the side, “Nothing I can think of yet.”

“When you think of something,” he said, “Make sure you tell me.”

I nodded again.

I could see his hesitation. His hands tightly held the end of his shirt as he decided whether or not he wanted to remove it.

Why was he acting like the virgin here?

I stood up and moved closer to him.

“Ren,” he said.

“Hmm?” I hummed.

I wanted to see the skin underneath the black fabric.

I wanted to touch his skin and memorize the lines and grooves of it.

“Take your dress off,” he breathed.

I met his heated gaze.

“Unzip me?” I asked.

I moved closer so that he didn’t have the chance to turn me around.

I wanted him to search blindly for it.

He seemed to like my plan.

His hands started at my hips but quickly made their way to my back.

I could feel his fingers tracing the line of the zipper.

My body trembled as his fingers gently made their way up my back.

He didn’t once try to kiss me.

I looked up at him, craning my neck.

His eyes locked with mine.

He slowly leaned down to press a light kiss to my upper cheek, just under my right eye.

His hand reached the zipper and proceeded to tug it down.

My body was burning.

I couldn’t explain why everything was so damn hot.

Michael placed a kiss on the side of my mouth before pulling away just enough to move himself lower.

It startled me when he moved, so I dropped my head to see what he was doing.

He kissed the bare skin between my breasts, and I gasped.

“Do these buttons open?” he asked between kisses.

I nodded, but I realized he wasn’t paying attention.

“Yes,” I managed to breathe out.

“Open them for me,” he said.

His voice was deeper than usual, and it didn’t do anything to soothe the ache I was feeling.

My hands went to the top button, and he moved away just enough to remove his shirt.

He must have known that I wanted to stare at him. He didn’t give me a chance to admire his bare chest.

His tongue made its way up to where the top three buttons used to cover.

I felt him pull open the back of my dress.

The heat of his hands on my back made me groan.

It was like touching a sunburn, but without the pain that usually followed.

He pulled at the shoulders of the dress until it hit the floor.

My hands went up instinctively to cover myself.

Michael took that as his chance to stand up straight so that he once again towered over me.

My neck craned just so I didn’t have to look away from him.

“Do you worry I might not like what I see?” he asked.

That wasn’t why I covered myself at all.

“Or are you just not used to being naked in front of a man?”

I glared at him. Was that even a serious question?

“I don’t mind either way,” he said, pulling me closer to him, “Just know that I am aching at the sight of you.”

I whimpered.

I could feel his bare skin on my stomach, and it was torture.

It wasn’t the only thing I could feel.

His hands dropped to my hips, then just a little lower before pulling my lower half closer.

I didn’t think I could get any closer.

I could feel the curves of his pelvis I was pressed so hard against him.

The heat from him felt like it was hot enough to burn me.

“M-Michael,” I stuttered.

His hardness was pulsing, and I think that scared me.

“Ren,” he breathed back.

His hips moved back slightly before grinding against me.

His height advantage hardly felt fair.

Every time he’d grind himself against me, his d**k hit my belly button.

I’m pretty sure he just moaned.

I was so used to not being able to look at him or touch him that I haven’t brought myself to do it yet.

It felt good with just touching the way we were. I just wish that I felt each of his slow rocking movements lower.

I slowly got to my tippy toes, hoping to feel him lower.

My hands clung to his back so that I didn’t fall. I didn’t mean to grip him as hard as I did.

He groaned before dipping his head down to meet me.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” he asked.

My brain was already overheated. I didn’t even know how to respond to his words.

My eyebrows must have asked the question my words couldn’t.

He glanced to the side as if he was too nervous to even ask.

It took my brain a few minutes to catch up, but I figured out what he wanted to ask.

He was worried about getting off first.

He said it was painful.

Is that why I could feel it pulsating?

My hands slowly moved from his back to his stomach.

I could feel goosebumps and a smoothness that only came from old scars.

“Yes,” I said. It was definitely a delayed answer.

His gaze dropped to my hands as they went down his stomach to the button of his black pants. They weren’t jeans, but they looked like they could be dress pants, only they weren’t.

He took in a breath as he watched my hands tug open his pants.

“Do you have a plan?” he asked.

I froze. I didn’t get that far.

I was planning on pulling the thing out and going from there.

“I’d like to make a suggestion,” he said, “If you’d like.”