Beside You

Beside You Ch. 21: Hurt for Long 1/2

Chapter Twenty-One: Hurt for Long 1/2

It felt a little awkward as I made my way to Benny.

She just smiled at me.

“Sorry about all that,” I said.

She shook her head, “Steven would be lucky to have you back in his life.”

I stared back at her.

Her gaze went to the side.

I wasn’t sure if it was because she was a little anxious or the mood was just a bit awkward.

“The real question is,” she said, “If he deserves it or not.”

That’s fair.

I was asking myself something similar.

“Ren?”

“Yeah?” I asked back.

“Are you really going to give him a second chance?”

I had to think about that one for a minute.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

Her light brown eyes locked with mine.

“Can I be honest?” she asked.

I nodded, even though I had a pretty good idea of what she was about to say.

“You shouldn’t,” she said, “Steven has always been jealous of Michael.”

That much I was able to figure out already.

“Did he suddenly start to say super nice things?” she asked.

“I know what he is trying to do,” I stated.

It felt a little too obvious.

He was never that nice to me.

He had a crush on me?

That felt like a bad joke.

You don’t do that kind of thing to someone you like.

If you do, then clearly you aren’t the person for me.

“Then what are you going to do?” she asked.

That was a really good question.

“I’m going to try and forgive him,” I stated, “Not for him, but for me.”

She looked a little surprised by my answer.

“He wants more,” I said, “But he has to earn anything that he wants from me.”

It sounded weird once I said it out loud.

I couldn’t really see me and Steven like that, not again.

“Is he using that in exchange for not pressing charges?”

I nodded.

“Piece of s**t,” she muttered.

I didn’t disagree on that one.

If the boy wanted me to forgive him, he should prove he wanted to do better without having me wrapped around his finger.

Though, I wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Let’s get out of here,” Benny said, “I don’t want to be here anymore than I have to.”

I nodded, and we headed out.

“Where did the boys go?” I asked once we reached the elevator.

“Not sure,” she said, “Michael is having a b***h fit. Gus went with him in case he does something stupid again.”

That made sense.

Good looking out Gus.

“The real question,” Benny said, “At least the one I’m dying to ask.”

I glanced over at her.

She grinned wickedly at me, “What about Collin?”

I glared at her.

“Don’t tell me you forgot.”

I shook my head.

“I just wasn’t thinking about it,” I admitted.

“Well, you need to,” she said, “What are you going to wear?”

I felt myself frown.

“Are you going to get all dolled up and sexy?” she asked.

Was I?

I didn’t put much thought into that either.

“Do you like Collin like that?” she asked.

I met her questioning gaze just before getting off the elevator.

Did I like him like that?

There was a short silence as we left the building.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “But I want to.”

I heard voices before I saw Michael and Gus arguing off to the side of the building.

“Do you think he’s cute at least?”

I only nodded as we got closer to the arguing duo.

There was no doubt that Collin is attractive.

“I didn’t want to deal with him in the first place,” Michael grumbled, “He never f*****g leaves me alone.”

Gus didn’t have a chance to respond, not before I opened my mouth.

“Maybe he has a crush on you,” I stated.

I know it was probably the worst thing to say right then.

Michael turned his head to glare at me.

“I’m sure you’ll make sure to let me know if he brings up a threesome,” he said with more hate than I feel was warranted, “Since you’ll be f*****g him.”

I felt myself move before I even realized what I was doing.

My hand collided with the side of his face.

Benny gasped, but it was a small one.

I panicked after I slapped him.

He was already so hurt. The dark bluish-purple on his jaw made me feel worse.

“I’m sorry,” I gasped.

He didn’t even look at me.

I could see the anger and surprise in the way he kept his gaze away from me.

“That was pretty f****d up,” Benny said.

I felt myself starting to shake.

“Bold of you to assume she's going to f**k anybody,” she said.

Michael glared at her now.

“Collin has a better shot than Steven does,” Gus stated.

Michael’s head snapped in my direction.

I could feel the tension in the air.

Benny was trying to say something to Gus without it being obvious.

“What about Collin?” Michael asked.

“Ren’s got a date,” Gus stated.

He knew exactly what he was doing. It was written all over his face.

“Since when?” Michael asked, not once breaking eye contact with me.

“Why does it matter?” Benny asked, “Ren can date whoever she wants to.”

Why was he so f*****g mad? He rejected me.

He is so f*****g confusing.

“She can do whatever she wants,” Benny stated, “If someone makes her happy, that’s what matters.”

Michael dropped his eyes, and I could see the hurt.

I wanted him to be the one.

“Have you decided on what you're going to wear?” Gus asked.

“No,” Benny stated, “I already asked.”

“Seriously?” Gus chucked, “Is Benny going to help you?”

I nodded slowly.

Gus just laughed, “Then Collin’s going to get himself in trouble.”

“What makes you think that?” Benny demanded.

“You’re going to make Ren dress up,” he said, “Poor boy won’t stand a chance.”

Benny grinned wickedly, “I have a mission.”

“Which is what exactly?” I asked.

“I have made myself your Cupid,” she stated, “My goal is to get you laid.”

We all stared at her.

“Laid respectfully,” she added.

“Because the respect part makes it better,” I said.

“Better than getting laid disrespectfully,” Gus stated.

I couldn’t help but shake my head.

“Whatever,” Michael said.

He didn’t say anything else. He just walked away.

“He’s been way too f*****g moody lately,” Gus sighed.

Benny only nodded in agreement.

“Respectfully?” I asked.

Gus just laughed.

“Shut up,” Benny grinned.

Gus started to walk after Michael, and we followed.

“For real though,” Gus asked, “Are you going to dress up?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” I admitted, “But if it’s a party, why wouldn't I?”

“That’s up to you,” Gus stated, “Just let me know if Collin acts like anything other than a gentleman.”

I nodded.

It was sweet to have him worry so much.

Gus was like the big brother I always wanted.

Benny is, without a doubt, the sister I’ve always wanted.

I’m still not sure what Michael is exactly.

Gus walked through several lines of cars before grinning.

“Here I was thinking you were going to leave without us,” Gus said.

Michael was leaning on the front of his car, still very much irritated.

He tossed his keys to Gus.

“I can’t drive anyway,” he said.

“You could if you really wanted to,” Benny stated.

“Do you want me to really want to?” he asked.

The way that he glared at her made me feel uncomfortable.

“So where to from here?” Gus asked.

I could tell he was trying to take some of the tension out of the air.

“Back to campus,” Michael stated, “You can drop me off at the Motel on the way.”

“Is that a good idea?” Benny asked.

“I’m tired,” Michael stated.

“You can sleep in the room,” Gus stated.

“I don’t want to.”

Michael was even moodier than usual.

“Suit yourself,” Gus said flatly.

Michael pulled open the back door before sitting in the back seat.

Benny sighed loud enough for all of us to hear.

I made my way around the car to sit in the back seat behind Gus.

Michael glared at the back of Benny’s seat.

Gus said something to Benny before they got into the car.

It felt awkward.

Gus turned the car on, and we headed out of the hospital parking lot.

I found myself glancing over at Michael.

His phone was in his hand, and it looked like he was trying to write out a message one-handed.

His thumb hesitated over the keyboard.

Was he trying to get a girl to meet him at the motel?

That already irritated me. He was already in bad condition.

My phone buzzed, and it startled me.

Benny turned back to see what made me jump.

I glanced down at my phone to see who it was from.

My first thought was Michael.

He was typing out a message less than a minute ago.

His name wasn’t the one that popped up on my phone.

“What is it?” Benny asked, “You jumped.”

“My phone just scared me,” I admitted.

“Oooooh,” she grinned, “Who’s it from?”

I glanced down at the name, and I was a little surprised.

“Collin,” I stated.

He had already said goodnight, so I didn’t expect to hear from him again tonight.

“How sweet,” Benny said.

I glanced over a little awkwardly at Michael.

He gripped his phone awkwardly in his hand.

I watched as his hold tightened around the device. His knuckles turned white.

Did me talking to Collin really bother him that much?

I found myself frowning.

Michael didn’t deserve to get mad.

I brought my attention back to the unread message.

It did make me wonder what was up.

From: Collin – ‘Would you be interested in getting something to eat with me before the party?’

I just sort of stared at the message.

It felt like a trap.

Boys never just asked me to do things with them.

“What did he say?” Benny asked.

I wanted to look at Michael, but I could already feel his gaze on me.

“He asked me if I wanted to eat something with him before,” I stated.

“Do you want to?” Gus asked.

“She does,” Benny turned in her seat just to grin at me.

“I do?” I asked her.

“Even if you don’t,” she stated, “You’re going to tell him yes.”

“She can say no,” Michael stated.

“Sure she can,” Benny stated, “If she really wanted to.”

Benny glanced at me before glancing at Michael.

“Do you not want to go?” she asked.

Did I not want to go?

In all reality, I had no reason not to.

I shook my head, “I’ll go.”

“You don’t have to go just because Benny said you should,” Michael said.

He couldn’t hide the edge of irritation in his voice.

“Who says that I don’t want to go?” I asked him.

I met his eyes.

His brows furrowed as he stared back at me.

“Do whatever you want.”

He said it flatly before turning his attention to the window to stare outside.

What was I even supposed to say to that?

Fine then? Like a child?

I didn’t even humor Michael with a response.

This is what he wanted, wasn’t it?

He told me to look somewhere else.

I typed out my message to Collin without even thinking.

To: Collin – ‘I would like that. Thank you.’

The car ride was quiet the whole way to the Motel. Michael didn’t even say anything when he got out of the car.

“Holy s**t,” Benny sighed once it was just the three of us.

“Right?” Gus nodded.

I wasn’t sure what to say.

Benny smacked Gus on the arm, and he jumped.

“Why’d you do that?” Gus whined.

“I was trying to tell you to keep your mouth shut about the Collin thing.”

“Why?” he asked, “Michael doesn’t care.”

“After all the stuff with Steven?” she asked, “He’s worried Ren will get hurt again.”

Is that why he was acting like a f*****g child?

Maybe it was just hopeful thinking that he might actually be a little jealous.

Hoping was useless.

“So what do you guys want to do now?” Gus asked.

“We could go get some food,” Benny suggested.

Was I up for that?

I found myself frowning as I thought about it.

“You up for that Ren?” Gus asked.

I could see his eyes in the rearview mirror.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted.

“I can take you back to campus,” he said, “If you want.”

I shook my head slowly.

Michael didn’t get to make me feel like s**t for the choices I made.

Not when I only had to make some of them because of him.

“I could eat,” I said.

Benny grinned over her shoulder at me.

I want to be able to enjoy things like this without feeling guilty.

“Where to?” Gus asked.

Benny glanced at me again.

I just shrugged, “You guys pick.”

“Pizza it is,” Gus grinned.

Benny beamed at him.

It felt a little like I was intruding on their moment.

Oh well, I was already along for the ride.

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I felt something hit my face, and all I could muster in response is a groan.

“If you’d wake up, I wouldn’t have to throw things at you,” Benny said.

“Why do I have to wake up?” I asked.

“Ren,” she sat on my bed, “Date night.”

It felt like my stomach dropped a little when she said that.

I forgot.

“I’m going to help you pick out something cute to wear,” she said, “And if you’d like, I can help with your hair or make-up.”

I glared at her.

“Is there something wrong with my hair or my face?”

“Not at all,” she stated, “But sometimes dressing up and doing something different makes you feel better.”

That was honestly the first time someone had ever said that to me.

I was always told I should wear make-up so that I didn’t scare someone. Either that or because my face was too ugly.

“I’m not ugly,” Benny stated, “But sometimes make-up and cute clothes make me feel sexy.”

I’m sure Benny could pull off sexy in a tracksuit.

Anxiety settled in my stomach.

“What if it looks like I’m trying too hard?” I asked her.

“You think I’ll let that happen?” she asked, “I’m here for you, girl, not get your sexy ass up.”

She smacked my thigh hard, and I couldn’t help but yelp.

Benny laughed at my noise, and I just tried to force the embarrassed blush from my skin.

“You think Collin is into thigh spanks?” she asked.

I sat up in time for her to finish that sentence, and I covered my face.

“Are you into spanking?” she asked.

I could hear the genuine curiosity in her tone.

“Not that I know of,” I admitted.

“Hey,” she said, “There is nothing wrong with the occasional spanking.”

“Speaking from experience?” I asked.

She turned to grin at me, “Maybe.”

I couldn’t help but giggle.

She joined in on my bubbly laughter.

It took a good few minutes before we were able to calm down.

“I think you should wear the maroon dress,” she said, “The one you were going to wear after the barbeque.”

I had to think about which one that was. She had gotten me several things to wear then.

She went into my closet, and once I registered which one she meant, I felt myself start to shake.

It shows cleavage.

More than I probably wanted to show Collin on the first date.

“It’s cute,” she said, “And it’s the perfect amount of sexy.”

“Maybe a little too sexy,” I said.

She arched her eyebrow at me, “Too sexy for what exactly?”

“A first date,” I stated.

“Ren,” she said, “It won’t hurt to try it on.”

I met her determined gaze.

“If you feel uncomfortable wearing it, then we can find you something else.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Of course,” she said, “I’m only okay with you wearing sexy things and being uncomfortable when I’m there to keep you safe.”

That was oddly sweet.

“But right now,” she said, looking at her phone, “You need to get your ass into the shower and handle it girlie.”

Was it really that late already?

I only nodded.

“I’ll have some stuff laid out for you when you get back,” she said, “Miss you already!”

I glared at her as I got my stuff for the shower.

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