Chapter 20
962 Words
Michaela…
Do you have any music?...
The thought lingers on my mind as I chew away on the English breakfast mixed with English lunch. On the surface, the food seems basic. Something you would grab at a hotel or restaurant but when you taste it, it’s magical.
It’s like angels are doing moonwalks and ballet on your tongue. There’s something enchanting about the food that makes it extraordinary.
“Your mom is a great cook. Does she own a restaurant or something?”
The initial question still lingers on my mind.
“Nope. My dad would never allow it. She’s a traditional housewife. But it’s cool cause I think she enjoys it.”
His eyes spark beautifully when he speaks about his mother. So far two paintings have come to mind but they haven’t fully materialised yet.
The angels and the eyes. It’s always the eyes. Repeating themselves constantly. The ideas die but a new one is born.
Stillborn babies.
That one makes me think about Michael so I discard it too.
“She must really do…”
“Hey, do you have any music?” I say very quickly. I need something to drown out the thoughts that I’m drowning in.
“Doesn’t everybody do though?”
I let out a heavy and shaky breath.
“For heaven’s sake Luke, I’m trying to get to know you and what’s a better way than through music. Your music. And I did say if a thought like that…”
“Yeah, yeah I know. I’m dumb. All men are dumb. I’ll put on my Spotify playlist.”
“Thank you.” I smile wryly
“But I’m dumbstruck too. You’re very cool.”
I give him a look to stop myself from blushing. The exercise is hurting the muscles on my face.
“Okay. Here goes…”
I allow myself a smile when his attention shifts towards his phone.
I remembered black skies🎶
The lightning all around me
I remembered each flash🎶
As time began to blur
Like a startling sign🎶
That fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard🎶
That I get what I deserve
So give me reason🎶
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean🎶
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes🎶
Give me reason
To fill this hole🎶
Connect this space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies🎶
Across this new divide…
“That’s… dark.” I don’t really have a word for it as I talk over the song.
“Well I’m dark… and light sometimes.” He says and skips the song.
Trace my face while it’s a happy face🎶
When my smile fades
I wanna remember this day🎶
Passion killed by the comfort of time
I’m sorry if this makes you cry, but I Have to speak
My mind🎶
Suck the colours from my eyes
When they lose their sparkle and🎶
Forget to shine
Remember all the times you turned me🎶 down
I’m sorry if this hurts your heart but
Where’s the spark, from the start?🎶
“You listen to ‘The parlatones’?!” I can’t even hide my excitement.
“I’m surprised you listen to them.” A cute giggle escapes him.
“I’m not even their number one fan. I’m their ultimate fan. Still though it’s also dark too. You’re not artistic so I’m guessing you relate quite deeply.”
“Yeah I do. What’s your favourite one?”
“Push me to the floor. It’s my alarm. I need inspiration every morning.” I smile awkwardly. I’m feeling a bit shy. Actually I’m feeling very vulnerable.
“If I had my favourite song as my alarm, I would eventually hate it.” He giggles louder.
“What’s on your alarm then?”
“My dad’s Plaasmusiek. Actually it’s a recording of him singing it. You should see him every Sunday after church. In Kakie kortbroek. He’s as red as a Tomato. The sun churns him red and he gets a tan and he sings like all is well in the world.”
There’s a huge contrast between the way he speaks about his mother and they way he speaks of his father. There’s pure resentment. Something I relate to quite very well. Maybe that’s why we’re so drawn to each other and I can’t escape those ocean blue eyes.
“Do you hate your dad then?”
“Hate is a mild word. Despise fits but everyday I search for words that are worse.”
The then bright and sparkly eyes now have a tint of red.
“I know what you mean. I may not comprehend it through your perspective but I get what you mean.”
We’re like a mirror of each other. Both with different childhood traumas but there’s a point where we meet and for some reason we both feel heard and understood.
We were just kids and we didn’t really know what to do. The world just threw it’s worst at us and the adults just expected us to grow up and fast.
We didn’t get the time to process and react.
We were not allowed the chance to process and react. We just had to go on like there weren’t any changes but we’re still expected to accept those changes.
The very same adults probably didn’t get the time or chance either but they could’ve done better. I guess now it’s up to us to do better.
But how can we do that with so much hindrance. Those we look up to do so much to oppress us. It’s really hard to break chains when the ones we love are the ones who are holding the key. They are just refusing to do the right thing.
- Writer
