Highschool: A cheesy love story

Chapter 10

Friday, during lunch time…

“Hey, we should totally skip the rest of the classes.”

I would say it’s a suggestion but Siya’s tone suggests otherwise.

“I can’t. I’m already grounded.” Ficelle informs everyone.

Everybody laughs except for me as I wait for someone to save me from my embarrassment and explain the joke.

“When have you ever been grounded?!” Sindi asks.

“You know my Pa… He doesn’t say it out loud but he thinks I’m a slut, I just. I don’t know…” Ficelle seems to be struggling with her words.

“Ficelle.” Sindi’s tone indicates sympathy. “Your dad barely sees you. Now thinking of you would be far-fetched.”

“Yeah!” Siya chimes in “ Everyone knows that he’s drowning in the deep blue seas of eyes.”

Luke squints his eyes at him and he barely looks at me. Things have been awkward between us ever since our encounter if I can call it that, and hiding him away in my paintings hasn’t been much of help either.

“And not to be a slut shamer or anything but you’re the only one here who’s sexually active.” Sindi shrugs in an apologetic way.

“Listen here Sindi, for you, it’s understandable but I don’t get why my twin brother is a celibate monk?”

“Well I think it comes down to having a choice.” I don’t know if I’m defending myself more than I’m defending Luke.

“You also haven’t lost your v-card?” Ficelle pushes Sindi backwards before slamming Luke and I into each other.

Our shoulders touch and I’m grateful for the many fabrics creating a barrier between us.

“The both of you are a match made in heaven!”

“I’m not embarrassed. I’m grateful I still have a choice that many get robbed of. If I die a virgin, then so be it. It’s my choice.” I explain.

“Such powerful words!” Ficelle seems impressed. “See brother, you should’ve just said ‘choice’ and I’d have let you off.”

Luke seems a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable.

“Wait, are you talking about the condoms? Because I don’t think that’s what she meant.” Sindi’s brows are furrowed.

“Oh no Si… It’s an inside joke between the twins.” Ficelle releases a nasty cackle aimed at her twin. “And besides, do those still exist?”

“Are we skipping or what people?” Siya asks impatiently.

“We definitely should. We have loads of ‘choices’ to make and talk about…” Ficelle says.

“Ewww…” Both Luke and Sindi express their repulsion simultaneously.

We skip and sneak out of school eventually. Luke walks besides me. Sindi is like a fifth wheel in the middle and in the front Ficelle and Siya are walking hand in hand, giggling and laughing at sweet nothings.

“Are we still on for Sunday?” Luke whispers conspicuously.

“Yeah.” My reply is automatic.

“Good.” He says.

“Yeah. Good.” I can’t even look at him. His beautiful eyes terrify and torment me. They are all I can think about.

***

We get to Siya’s place. Apparently he lives alone. The apartment was a birthday gift from his parents and it was simultaneously a preparation for the real world.

The idea was for him to not struggle with accommodation when he eventually got into university.

The place is very far but I guess it’s convenient for him, his girlfriend and their ‘choices’.

My mind wanders off during Siya’s story and I can’t help but think about my own 18th birthday that is coming up in few days. I bet my dad is going to get me a studio or art gallery and I’m supposed to smile and be grateful.

A sigh escapes me.

Nonetheless, before I know it, we’re a couple of movies in and it’s loads and loads of laughter, snacks and drinks. I don’t know if it’s the sugar in my system but I’m feeling a sense of warmth that is foreign to me. I like it but my intrusive thoughts remind me not to get too comfortable.

Nothing too good ever lasts, and this, all of these cheerful smiles seem too good to be true.

Eventually that good feeling in the pit of my stomach turns sour. I guess happiness wasn’t meant for me.

I decide to leave the party early without even letting anyone know. It’s hard to admit but it’s true. I don’t belong here. I just have to focus on the mission. I shouldn’t let my feelings get in my way. I should keep my eyes on the prize and the prize isn’t Luke and he pretty ocean eyes.

The prize is me. The prize needs me to outsmart and outwit everyone. This thing of getting attached isn’t going to work out well for me.

It is just a distraction.

I repeat the same speech in my head. A thousand times over but the end product disappoints me greatly.

The end product is an ocean inside of an eye, eyes inside of oceans. It’s a nice painting though. I’d say it’s one of my best work. I fall to the ground, naked. A shiny blue paint trickling down my arm from my hand, some of it marking my skin. I let out a scream. A loud piercing scream.