Chapter 15
982 Words
Luke…
She’s not here.
I know we had an argument and we parted on not so good terms but I really wanted to see her.
She makes everything better.
Maybe I shouldn’t rely on her so much because in the past people haven’t been so reliable…
But she’s not from my past. She’s the present and probably might be my future…
Images of my red father blocks all of my thoughts.
I let out a sigh.
Will I ever escape from this cycle?
The only thing that stands between my joy and I is my father. But my fear of confronting him always overpowers me and I cave in.
I’m a coward.
How will I ever win Michaela over when I can’t even defend myself.
The second bell distracts me from all of my thoughts. I didn’t even hear the first one. I’m only aware that it’s the second one only because everyone is clearing up their tables.
“Luke…”
Ms Moo-reh calls out to me.
That’s how I say her name in my mind now but I still struggle with pronouncing it.
I smile when I think of her.
How her lips curled when she instructed me.
Her fiery gaze…
“Luke…”
She calls out again. Snatching me away from my happy thoughts and I get irritated.
“Yes, ma’am!” I reply.
“Please stay behind I wanna talk to you.” She says.
“I have to get to class ma’am.” Honestly I just want to get away from her.
I’m not really looking forward to the next class. I know we only share maths class together but seeing her around the school when we change periods is really satisfying. Knowing I won’t see her is quite terrifying. I know I’ll get triggered easily.
Stop relying on her!
I know. But I can’t. I can’t help it.
“Luke I’m sure the next teacher will understand. We all understand your situation.” Her voice is soft.
Much more softer towards me than she is with everyone else. It’s not pity. It’s lust. And that’s what I prefer.
“I…”
I don’t really know what to say.
“You seem distracted. Actually you were distracted during the entire lesson.”
“Then why didn’t you call me out?”
“What do you mean?” She seems genuinely confused by my question.
“I mean why didn’t you call me out. The same way you did Michaela when she was distracted.”
I think about her and my whole body relaxes.
“You know why…” She smirks.
“Well it’s wrong. I’m a student and you’re my teacher. You should treat us all equally.” I tell her.
“You’ve never had a problem with that before and you know that you’re special…”
I feel like she’s condescending me.
“Well I do now and please don’t call me that.”
“What’s wrong Luke? We’re both consenting adults.”
Condescending. I roll my eyes.
“I know that I’m 18, you don’t have to remind me, but you’re a teacher and I’m your student. There are laws…”
“Yeah but who gonna tell them? That slut!” Realisation forms on the lines of her pretty face.
“She’s not a slut.”
I know that by defending her, I have made things worse.
“She’s got to you hasn’t she? She’s not safe for you. She’s volatile.”
Her words are not from a place of concern but at least it’s not pity.
“Bold of you to assume you’re not. But don’t worry my sister has already painted me that picture.”
“At least there’s another sane person who agrees with me. What does your therapist say about her?”
She’s fishing for a way to discredit Michaela but I won’t let her.
“Oh trust me if Ficelle knew the truth she would hate your guts. Your little friendship isn’t even real. When it comes to my therapist just be thankful that I don’t tell her everything.”
This is more of a warning for her to let this go.
“She threatened me Luke. She threatened us.” She’s pleading and it’s quite pathetic.
“You already told me that, remember? I gave her my grades.”
“She’s dangerous.”
“She’s just competitive. It’s harmless fun. She wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“Yeah of course she wouldn’t hurt a fly, she doesn’t need anything from a fly.”
“Why do you hate her so much. She doesn’t need anything from me either. I gave her what she wanted and has she bothered you ever since?”
“I don’t hate her. I just don’t trust her. Be careful Luke. Never speak highly of someone, they might just disappoint you.”
“I know you hate her because of me. But don’t worry about me I know what disappointment feels like. I’ve tasted it over and over again.”
“Luke…” She comes closer hoping to embrace me.
“Don’t do that, you know I don’t want your pity.” I’m a little bit harsh but just as she said, she understands my situation.
I ask her to give me the rest of the day off and she does so without hesitation. My excuse is that I feel overwhelmed and I need to go see my therapist.
The principal believes me without any doubts.
I do actually go to see my therapist. I don’t wanna go home. Home just feels like a house with cold walls and a pool. There’s nowhere else I can go anyway.
Another reason is that I want to talk to someone neutral about Michaela. Someone who will listen without a biased opinion of her. Everyone hates her and I just want to hear what my therapist thinks about her.
- Writer
