Challenge (MxM) (COMPLETED)

Chapter Twenty Nine- Guilt

Chapter Twenty Nine-

Noel

"Dax asked me to tell you to come into his office. He seemed pretty mad though." Fizzle informs me.

"Oh please, you know me. If I schmooze him enough then he won't be mad anymore." I assure him, making my way to Dax's office, strutting with a confident sway.

It's been about two weeks since the party that got me in trouble. Jasper and August have taken Mickey on two dates so far and he told me that he's seriously considering doing a scene with them.

The only problem is that he's scared of being tied up. Of course, he's got a right to not like being tied up.

Something happened to him at one of the parties he went to. He was crossfaded and clearly incapable of making his own decisions. Unfortunately, the guys he was with didn't care.

I feel shitty about it. If I had gone with him then I could've kept that from happening. That's why he and I always go to parties together. That way when I'm totally f****d up and plastered, he can protect me and the same goes for him.

Once I get to Dax's office, I see him sitting in his chair with Wenn and Elliot in the seats in front of him. I pause, glaring at the redhead.

This whole situation is s**t. The fact of the matter is, I don't give two flying f***s who is at fault. I don't care if Sawyer broke up with him and I don't care that Teagan is the one that couldn't keep it in his pants.

Teagan almost abandoned us just like my parents did, and it's because of Wenn.

I'm mad at Sawyer for getting into that argument in the first place. Honestly, Candace is always happy to help anyone. Although it was definitely a weird request, she wasn't even upset by it.

I'm mad at Teagan for letting it get that far and not trying hard enough to stay with us. He went to Will's soccer game and took Julian and Frankie to a movie, but he must not give a s**t about me at all because I got no such courtesy.

As a matter of fact, I didn't even know they had an argument until after Teagan already f****d some other guy.

They're supposed to be together. We all got a new shot at having a stable family. Teagan wasn't just Sawyer's boyfriend. He was like a parent to us, and to think that he was willing to throw all of that away for some twink who isn't even good enough in bed to keep a dom longer than a month or two is just a slap in the face.

That being said, they can all get f****d with a dildo made of barbed wire.

"What the f**k is this, an intervention?"

"First of all, watch your tone with me. Second of all, you have some explaining to do, so sit your ass down and get to talking." Dax snaps at me.

"I've done nothing wrong." I tell him, plopping down on the couch.

"Strike one."

Fizzle was right. He is really mad. Dax usually lets me joke around for a little bit before he starts getting serious.

"I don't see why telling the truth is a problem." I answer. Nothing I said was inaccurate.

"I don't see how keeping your f*****g mouth shut is so difficult for you. I have a punishment planned for you already, but I expect you to apologize to Wenn, and if I ever hear about you doing some s**t like this again, you'll get a hell of a lot worse than the punishment you're getting this time."

"I'm not apologizing to that homewrecking little snitch."

"I didn't snitch." Wenn replies defensively.

"Strike two, Noel."

"If you didn't snitch, then who did?" I snap at him.

"I did, Noel. I don't like the way you're acting and it's really making me uncomfortable." Elliot mumbles.

I look at him for a moment before rolling my eyes. "Why didn't you just say that then? I'll stop being mean to Wenn around you if it makes you feel better."

"You'll stop being mean to Wenn at all, actually." Dax insists.

I roll my eyes.

"Strike three." He glares at me with a look in his eyes that he's never had with me before. I've seen anger and disappointment and sadness, but this is like he's looking at a stranger.

I know he hasn't seen this side of me before, but he doesn't understand because he's an only child. I'm very attached to my family and that includes Teagan. I didn't want him to leave us and I'll blame whoever I can so long as I don't have to blame myself. I didn't do anything to deserve that.

"You guys are so overdramatic. I didn't do anything but call out his actions. If you don't want to be slut shamed then just stop being a slut. It's really that easy."

"What does that make me then?" Elliot asks. He's my friend. Obviously I don't want to hurt him, but he seems really upset.

"I've slept with almost every dom in this club including your boyfriend. Am I a slut now too? In high school there were so many guys who would make fun of me for being 'easy' and I really hate that you're starting to sound like them."

"That's not the point. I don't care about the other doms he slept with. I care that..." I pause when I realize the real reason I'm hurt by this whole thing. It's not about him at all. "I care that Teagan thinks that he's more important than our family."

"That's not true, Noel. He doesn't think that I'm more important than you guys. I was just a rebound. He doesn't care about me like that."

"Then why did he leave?" I answer, feeling tears build up.

I hate him. I hate that Teagan made himself this important to me and then left. "He took his stuff and left. He didn't even say goodbye. I didn't get a text or call or anything. I came home and he was just gone. Just like my parents. He promised he wouldn't ditch us and then he left!"

I glare at the floor and wipe my tears as quickly as I can, but they just keep coming. I'm mad at Teagan for leaving and I'm mad at Sawyer for telling him to. I'm mad at myself for blaming someone when it wasn't even his fault.

Wenn walks closer, hesitantly wrapping his arms around me. I return the hug, ignoring the awkwardness of being pressed against a half naked guy that I just slut shamed a few days ago.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault that Teagan did that stuff. I don't have any right to slut shame you anyway. My body count is in the 80's now."

"It's okay-"

"It's not okay. Come here, Noel."

I pull away and wipe my face, walking towards his desk.

He stands up and looks down at me before reaching his hands out to wipe the rest of my tears. "Thank you for apologizing. I love you, but every single thing you do reflects on me because I'm your dom. I can't have people thinking that the rules are different for you just because we're dating. You will never ever speak to anyone that way again, do you understand me?"

"Yes, Master." I answer. Another thing for me to be mad at myself about. I made Dax look bad.

"Tonight is your punishment, and it will certainly show that anyone who breaks my rules, especially my own sub, will have repercussions."

"I'm sorry, Master." I turn to Elliot. "And to you too. I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I know."

"Go finish your shift and then come back here when you clock out, baby."

I nod and walk back out, grabbing a tray of drinks to start serving again. I'm nervous. I've done a lot of bad things, but nothing like this before. Dax was really really mad at me. Surely this punishment is going to be the worst thing ever.

***

When I get off my shift, I make my way back to Dax's office. I've been thinking about it for the last few hours. I'm not really mad at Wenn. It's just that Teagan leaving was a huge blow to my self esteem and my trust in people.

He and Sawyer had known each other for a year before Teagan met me. More than any of the kids, I was the one that was wary of him. Candace and I were always careful with strangers.

After the trauma of CPS separating us, we didn't trust anyone and we most certainly wouldn't accept gifts as a way to win us over. Teagan had a habit of buying us things to make us like him more, but it didn't work.

Even when he really sat down with each of us to talk about how we felt and s**t, I still had walls built up.

I finally let them down when I came out to him. He was the first person I told. I was almost 15 and he saw me peeping on him while he was showering. He told me that he wasn't mad about it, but he wanted to know why I was watching him.

I'd only had s*x with girls before, but I admitted how scared I was. I knew Sawyer liked boys, but I was worried about how people at school would treat me, I was worried that my friends would all hate me, and I was worried that Sawyer would be mad that I was attracted to Teagan.

He promised it would all be okay. He asked why I waited so long to open up to him. I was hesitant but I told him that it was because of my parents. I didn't want to get attached to another adult just for them to leave me again.

He looked me in the eyes, took my face in his hands and promised me that he would never leave. He said that he'd never ditch me no matter what.

He's a f*****g liar.

I should've known better than to trust him. I should've kept being closed off and hostile because at least then I wouldn't be so hurt right now. I don't care if he and Sawyer make up or not. I want him to be miserable.

I hope that every single time he walks in a room, he stubs his toe. I hope that everything he eats tastes like rotten milk. I hope he gets senile within the next year so that even if Sawyer does get back together with him, that old dickhead won't be able to get it up.

I hope he hates his life and if he does, I hope he knows it's because of me.

I hope he finds out that Sawyer let the duo f**k him. I hope he feels worthless and unwanted like he made us feel... like he made me feel.

"Noel? You spaced out." Dax tells me, reaching out to run his fingers through my hair.

"I never want to see that asshole again."

Dax kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around me. "I know you feel that way now, but maybe you should give him a second chance."

"No. He should prove himself to me and then maybe I'll think about it."

"Well while you're thinking about it, we can start with your punishment." He tells me.

I take a deep breath and follow him out of the office and through the halls to our playroom. He closes the door and looks at me with those dark hazel eyes that always seem to scare me into being good.

"Strip."

I pause for a moment before I start taking my clothes off. It wasn't quick enough for him because I soon feel a sharp smack to my ass.

"Don't hesitate again." He snaps at me.

"Sorry, Master."

"How many people have you had s*x with?"

"I think 81 if I'm keeping track properly." I respond.

"I'm not going to disclose Wenn's private information, but he has not even slept with half that many people. I don't think you're a w***e or a slut, Noel, but you of all people had no right to say that kind of thing to him." Dax scolds one last time before explaining the rest of my punishment. "You're going to get a paddle and bring it to me. You better not get the softest one either."

I walk to the wall and look for a good one. I look through and sigh to myself. I broke one of his biggest rules. I know this is something way more severe than I've ever done. My punishment should reflect that.

I go out on a whim and pick the most painful one. This paddle is one with tiny spikes all over it. He's never used this on me before.

Just because he's upset doesn't mean that he'll go overboard. He'll stop if I safeword. I feel bad for treating Wenn so badly. From what everyone tells me, he's a really nice guy. He even tried to comfort me after all that s**t I said to him.

I feel bad about Elliot too. No wonder he didn't scold me when I said that stuff. He was probably scared I'd say it to him too. The whole point of this club is to explore s****l desires free of judgment, and I made it into an environment where they couldn't do that.

When I bring the paddle over to him, he looks at it and smiles at me. "Well now that I know just how much you realize that what you did was wrong, it's easier to just get the punishment over with and forget about it. I'm trusting that you won't do something like this again. I'm glad that you understand just how bad it was."

"I won't do it again, Master." I assure him, feeling the anticipation build.

He kisses my forehead gently before grabbing his sharpie. He starts writing on my chest while finishing his explanation. "You're going to go around the club all night and ask every free dom to punish you. If any of the taken doms want to, I'll also let them. Pretty much any person who feels like paddling you is at liberty to. Your punishment ends when I decide it does, and you won't sass anyone, do you understand?"

I look down at what he wrote on me. 'I am a cocky whore.' Elliot likes having degrading words on him.

I think that maybe I would too, but this isn't meant to be hot. It's meant to tell everyone that I disappointed my Master. Nobody would want that.

"Yes Master."

"Good. Let's start."