chapter four
1061 Words
The days started blending together. My nights were filled with gaming, desperately seeking a small escape, and mornings with Appu’s team, where I found myself drawn to Nev—the voice that ignited something inside me. His name became a comfort, a whisper of something better, even if he showed no interest in me.
But as much as I longed for Nev’s attention, he was distant. I forced myself to focus on improving my gameplay, determined to fit in. Yet, the truth was undeniable—he didn’t want me there.
“Hani, you need to keep it down!” my sister’s voice startled me as she peeked into my room. Her scolding reminded me of how loud I’d gotten while gaming.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, watching her retreat down the hallway.
I returned to my screen, where Jass was attempting, for what felt like the hundredth time, to teach me how to snipe. “Queen, aim two inches ahead of where they’re running. Then shoot,” he explained, his patience wearing thin.
I followed his advice, but the shot still missed. Frustrated, I yelled, “What do you mean two inches ahead? I did what you said, and I *still* missed!”
“You bot,” he shot back, as Minimax and T burst into laughter at my struggle.
Annoyed, I switched back to my favourite M416. We climbed into the in-game car and started searching for enemies.
“We really need to change our clan’s name,” Minimax commented, glancing out of the car window.
“What’s wrong with *Bot Hunters*?” I asked, feeling slightly offended.
“It sounds like we only kill bots, not real players,” T chimed in.
“Well, too bad. I’m the leader, and you can’t change it without me,” I said smugly.
Their banter distracted us until Jass suddenly stopped the car in the middle of a map where two teams were already battling.
“Keep driving!” I yelled, but Jass had already hopped out, hiding behind a rock with his sniper. Chaos erupted as both teams began firing at us.
My health dropped to 30% before I could even react. Cursing, I ran toward Jass for cover, but I was knocked out before reaching safety.
“Minimax, help!” I called, crawling toward the wreckage of our blown-up car.
“Hold on, there are enemies everywhere,” he said, trying to take down an opponent on the right.
“T, help!” I pleaded, but T was knocked out the moment he tried to assist me.
“You got me killed too, Queen!” he yelled, frustration evident in his voice.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oops.”
Jass managed to knock out two enemies with his sniper, clearing a path. “Revive me first; my health is lower!” I begged, crawling toward him.
But he chose to revive T instead, leaving me to die. “You asshole!” I yelled, rage quitting the match before I could see what happened next.
---
Back in the lobby, I saw Appu’s team online, but they were missing one player. I sent a request and was immediately invited.
“Hi, boys!” I greeted cheerfully, noticing Nev was also in the team.
“Hi, Queen,” Appu and Arafat replied, but Nev stayed silent.
Just as Appu started the match, Nev left the team without a word, leaving me disappointed. Appu and Arafat soon followed, and when I asked Appu in private chat what was going on, he explained bluntly: Nev didn’t want to play with me. He wanted to focus on ranking, and my gameplay wasn’t up to his level.
Heartbroken, I logged off. For the first time in ages, I had wanted someone’s attention, but it was clear Nev didn’t want mine.
---
As I lay in bed, my thoughts drifted to the past—before Muk, when I had real friends. Back then, evenings were spent at Anita’s house, laughing and eating her mom’s cheese pies while Alif made shisha in the backyard. We had a family of sorts, bound by love and laughter.
But Muk tore that away. He forbade me from seeing them, especially the boys. Even my male cousins were off-limits. I had no choice but to make excuses to my family, claiming I was sick or tired.
A notification lit up my phone, pulling me from my thoughts. It was from Muk’s f*******:. He had forgotten to log out from my phone.
Curious, I clicked on it.
The conversation was with a girl from his work:
**Her:** *“Why don’t you kiss me?”*
**Him:** *“Why don’t you let me eat you?”*
My stomach churned.
**Her:** *“Why don’t you take me out on a date?”*
**Him:** *“I’ll book a hotel room, and we can have a date there.”*
My chest tightened as I processed his betrayal. Rage and heartbreak mingled as I took screenshots and texted him for an explanation.
Instead of apologizing, Muk flipped the blame onto me. “Why the f**k are you snooping on my f*******:, you slut?” he spat over the phone.
“You’re texting other girls, Muk! You’re telling them disgusting things!” I shot back, tears streaming down my face.
His voice turned venomous. “You’re lucky I even put up with you. If it weren’t for me, you’d be whoring yourself out to every guy out there.”
His words cut deeper than any wound. I whimpered, “If I’m so awful, why are you even with me?”
He laughed cruelly. “Because of your ass. I picked you up off the streets, and now I’ll destroy you so no one else wants you.”
He hung up. Moments later, I received a text—a photo of me naked, taken without my consent.
“If you want me to leave, I will,” the message read, “but I’ll make sure your whole family sees you for the b***h you are.”
Trembling, I realized there was no escape. I couldn’t fight back without dragging my family into the humiliation.
Tears blurred my vision as I whispered into the darkness, calling out to my dad. “Please,” I begged, “help me find a way out.”
- Writer
