The Beta's Second Chance

Bad Males

Khason

The mouthful of rum burned its path into my stomach, leaving a pleasant numbness in its wake as I passed the bottle back to Noble. He sipped from it, pensively staring out at the waves. The sand under my back was cooling as the sun dipped into the water, inky blue-black darkness spreading down the beach, but I felt no desire to get up, to return to the pack house. To my fate. To dreams that felt less and less like mine as the days passed. I rubbed a hand across my chest, trying to dispel the uneasiness lodging there.

“Hey.” Gage waggled his fingers for the bottle and Noble handed it over, crossing one ankle smoothly over the other. Gage at least had the dignity to prop himself on his elbows in the sand. I simply sprawled, one hand tucked under my head as a pillow, and stared up at the pale stars winking into existence.

“Maybe Christiano is actually a big teddy bear!” Gage offered helpfully, making a face as he swallowed his mouthful. “Maybe Crescent Moon is a lovely, happy place, just sorely misunderstood.”

I snorted. “Couldn’t be worse than here.”

“Could be.” Noble contradicted in his quiet, gravelly voice, keeping his eyes on the water. “Could be a f*ck-ton worse.”

“Where’s Dawson anyway?”

“Doing Alpha sh*t.” I said to the sky, bitterly.

“He didn’t want to be here, the night before you leave?”

“Well, he isn’t here, is he?” I growled.

Gage lifted defensive eyebrows. “Forgive me for existing, I guess…”

I sighed and turned my head to look at Noble. “How are things back home?”

He shrugged, downing another gulp from the bottle. “Same.”

“How’s your family? How’s Nolan adapting to being Patrol Commander?”

Noble scoffed. “Becoming less of a f*ck head by the day, believe it or not.”

“Your parents must be happy. Their two sons, Gamma and Patrol Commander.”

“Yeah." The barest ghost of a smile crossed Noble's stoic face. "My mom might just drop dead of pride one of these days.”

“…and…how’s Arribella?” Playing with fire. I wasn’t trying to be a d*ck. I just wanted to check on my friend.

Nevertheless, Noble’s contemplative expression hardened, and his eyes dropped to the rum bottle in his hand. “Same.” He hissed coldly, tilting the bottle to his lips again. “Still won’t give me the time of day.”

I nodded. Bella had always been a bit…haughty. It was one of the reasons her relationship with Noble had been so surprising. They were polar opposites: her, preening, self-absorbed, social butterfly, and him, quiet, focused and led by duty. But when Noble’s mate had come of age…well, Bella hadn’t exactly taken it well, that somehow she was no longer the center of Noble's world. I vividly remembered all the yelling as I’d helped him get his sh*t out of the house they’d shared, the one they’d planned on raising their family in after they married, before Arribella could burn it all. As if it were his fault that he had a fated mate, his fault she'd turned eighteen. He'd never even spoken more than a word to the girl, and yet Bella'd reacted as if he'd f*cked her. His mate...

“And…what about Wynn?” I asked tentatively, extending my hand for the bottle. Noble stiffened, inhaling sharply. He remained frozen, making no move to hand me the rum.

“I don’t want to talk about her.” He breathed.

Gage tilted to meet my eyes behind Noble's rigid back, giving me a ‘drop it’ look. But damn it, I couldn’t just leave it like that.

“Noble…you haven’t spoken to her at all?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about her. And I don’t want to talk to her either.”

I thought of Wynn, a female I’d known for years. Sweet, kind and one of the funniest females I’d ever met. A tiny little thing, but full of spunk and energy. “Come on, man. She’s a sweet girl. And she’s your ma-”

“She ruined my f*****g life, Khason!” Noble snapped, voice taking on a harsh pain that I hadn’t heard since the day Arribella broke off their engagement and kicked him out. “She destroyed any chance of happiness I’ll ever have!”

I sat up, staring at my friend. “Don’t you think that’s a bit dramatic? She’s not an evil warlord, she’s just a female! And all she did was turn eighteen! She didn’t ask for this any more than you did, but the least you can do is-”

“I don’t. Want. To talk. To her.” He snarled, finally turning his bitter black eyes on me. “Ever.”

“Well…why not just reject her then?” Gage offered helpfully.

Noble rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh. “Because that would require talking to her, what part of this is confusing you?”

“So you’d rather keep the bond that ties you together, keep on being her mate, while you pine after Bella?”

“No, I’d rather forget she exists. And get my fiancee back.”

I exhaled and dropped back into the sand. I wanted to help him, but that was impossible until he pulled his head out of his ass.

“Well. This might be the world’s most depressing going away party.” Gage murmured, snatching the bottle away from Noble and draining it.

“Hey!” I threw a twig at him and it bounced off the side of his head. “Share, d*ck nozzle!”

“Looks like I arrived just in time.” I glanced over my shoulder to see Dawson, moving on bare, silent feet towards us, two bottles of whiskey in hand. The wind off of the sea had rendered him undetectable as he approached.

“Ooh, you brought the good stuff!” Gage waggled his fingers towards Dawson, who rolled his eyes and tossed him one of the bottles before sinking onto the sand beside me. Petulantly, I refused to look at him, even when he waved the other bottle in front of my face.

Come on, Khase. He poked me mentally. Don’t sulk like a puppy.

I’m not sulking. I’m brooding. It’s sexy. And I don’t want to talk to you.

Dawson sighed. A moment later, Noble and Gage silently stood and began to stroll down the beach, passing the bottle back and forth.

I rolled my eyes. “Too chicken sh*t to admit what a tool you’re being in front of them?”

Dawson pulled one knee up and rested his elbow on it, cracking the seal on the whiskey bottle and taking a long draught. He stared out at the dwindling light on the water for a few minutes before speaking.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve done this,” he muttered. I blinked blankly. “Fought. Even disagreed, really. I think I may have forgotten how to do it.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“It can’t be good. Because this feels shitty.”

“It should!” I finally looked at my cousin. “Dawson, you’re sending me off to die like a common foot soldier! I’m your Beta! F*ck, I’m your family! How can you do this to me?”

He exhaled sharply, snapping his blue eyes to mine. “Mother’s ass, Khason, do you hear yourself? Could you grow the f*ck up for just one second and think about something other than you? Who the hell else am I supposed to send? Noble? Gage? Would you be happy to see one of them go in your stead?”

“Why does it have to be one of us anyway? This is Summer Hunt’s fight, why not send one of them?”

“I’ll remind you, again, that you wanted this. You wanted to come down here and help them. Has it occurred to you that I don’t want you to go, either? That I hate this just as much as you do?” That threw me. I stared, stupidly. “I don’t know what you’ve been doing down here, but Stohn trusts you. Maybe only slightly more than he hates you, mind. And for either one of those reasons, he wants you. He’s adamant that you should be the one to go with his daughter. He has faith that you will be the most successful at coming out of this alive and I have to agree with him. There is no one else I trust to do this, to be smart and strategic and come out not only unscathed, but with the information that will help save Summer Hunt. I cannot be selfish and refuse to send you because you’re my brother and I love you and the idea of Christiano getting his evil f*cking paws on you quite frankly scares the piss out of me. You are my Beta first. Before anything else. And you are the best…no, the only choice to do this.”

My eyes burned. Dawson looked like he might hit me. Or cry. I’m not sure which would shake me more.

“I’m scared too, Khase.” He whispered, resting a hand on the back of my neck. “Scared shitless. I’ve watched you die once…and I thought I might die too. It was worse than losing my dad. It was…the worst moment of my life. I never want to go through that again, and you know that. But you are strong. And you are smart. And you are my second in command because you are just as competent and capable as I am.”

“Maybe a bit more.” I muttered, hating the cold dread in his eyes.

The corner of his mouth quirked up and I tugged the bottle away from him, taking a long drink.

“You are the only person I’d send, short of going myself. Besides,” he said, returning eyes dancing with mirth to the sea. “You really want me to send someone else with Ivy?”

I glared at him, shoving him into the sand. “Kiss my left ass cheek.”

“So, how’s that going?” Just like that, the tension eased. Just like that, my best friend was back. “Things with you and Ivy.”

I sighed, gulping from the bottle again. Dawson took it back as a pleasant buzz filled my senses. “Well, she talks to me now. When she has to. Progress?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“How’s Little G?” He didn’t respond for a long while. When I glanced at him, he was staring out at the dark water, body tense. “Daws?”

He took a slow, shuddering breath. “She’s…having twins.”

I gave a laugh of delight and clapped my cousin on the back. “Hey, that’s amazing! Congratulations man! Why… why do you look like someone’s about to remove your balls with a dull spoon?”

He drank, long and deep, from the bottle, draining half of it in one gulp before drawing both his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. His voice was ghostly as he croaked out, “Twins, dude. Twins. F*ck…I wasn’t even sure I wanted one.”

My smile faded. “What do you mean?” Multiples were common enough among wolves, given our canine genetics. It was a surprise, but not a big deal.

He ran his hands through his already dishevelled silver locks. Longer than he usually let them grow, they fell promptly into his eyes. He was also sporting a beard, not long, but he was standardly clean shaven. “Khason…I…made a realization. My father…our fathers…they were bad males. Bad like Christiano is bad. They did horrible, horrible things, likely worse than we even know about.”

I frowned. “I know my dad was a d*ck, but Uncle Rowan was always kind to us. A bit stern, maybe, but-”

“Khase…our dads were responsible for the slaughter of the Red Dawn pack. I was there, I watched it happen. Gaia, she…well, I’m not entirely sure what she did, but she showed me a memory I’d repressed. They…I won’t go into details. Makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. But I’ve been talking to Theo and…he thinks there might be more. Things I witnessed growing up…memories I’ve refused to acknowledge. My mom…she’s admitted it, the things he did. What if…I never want my kids to think of me the way I’m thinking of my dad right now.”

“Dawson, your dad loved you. Maybe he did some questionable things, but he was always there for you. Taught you everything you know.”

“Yeah, exactly! What if he inadvertently made me just like him?” I gripped his shoulder as his body shuddered, his eyes wide with panic. “What if I’m a monster, too? What if I’m destined to be? What if it's in my blood? These days I don't feel like I can trust half the f*cking thoughts in my head... I don’t want to father pups if they're gonna one day grow up to hate me…”

“Hey, Daws, breathe. Just breathe, dude.” I knelt in front of him, holding the sides of his face so he had to look into my eyes. “First off, Gaia is having twins. There is nothing you can say, or do, or feel that will change that. It’s reality. It’s fact. You are already a father. Secondly, everything you do is entirely your choice. You are in control of you, remember? Your dad taught you that. I’m not saying what they did wasn’t messed up. And you’re allowed to be confused, or angry, or sad or…whatever. But don’t you dare let him, let them, mess up your opportunity to be a kick ass f*cking dad to my little nieces or nephews.”

Dawson took a slow, shuddering breath, the turmoil in his eyes calming slightly. So this was what had been bothering him. Why he’d been so short, so cranky. His control over his anxiety was slipping. Careening down a f*cking cliff, actually, by the looks of it. I sat back on my heels, watching him as he struggled to take even breaths. “Has…Doctor Theo given you any…medication?”

He rolled his eyes, gulping from the bottle. “I can’t take those f*cking pills.”

“Why not?”

“Because they fog my mind!” He snapped, the bottle vibrating in his hand. “Make me groggy and slow…I can’t run my pack like that. It’s a weakness.”

“Oh, and this-” I waved my hand generally over his shaking form. “-isn’t? ‘Cause it sure doesn’t seem like a strength, my guy.”

He glared at me, fire sparking in the darkness of his blue eyes. Good. Pissed was better than...breaking. “You know, you can be a real asshole sometimes.”

“So I’ve been told.” I sank down beside him again. “Look, I’m no doctor. But Daws…and please believe I’m saying this because I care about you…you’re not okay, bro. You are not in control of your anxiety right now. It’s in control of you. Even Gaia is worried.”

“You spoke to Gaia?”

I nodded. “She called me. She doesn’t know what to do. She feels scared and alone…she needs you, man.”

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Don’t you think I know that?” He grumbled, sounding defeated.

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

He exhaled and some more of the tension in his shoulders eased as he looked up again.

After a moment, he spoke again. “Khase…you’re going to have to be careful. Beyond careful. Christiano…he’s a mean son of a b*tch.”

“You know him?”

He shrugged. “I’ve only met him once. Some conflict resolution thing that Morson dragged me to a couple years ago.”

“What’s he like?” I tried to remove any hint of trepidation from my voice.

Dawson hesitated. “Big. Volatile. He craves blood like a feral animal. His moods are erratic…and he is ruthless to his enemies. His pack takes after him. More like hyenas than wolves.”

“Well f*ck, sounds like a riot. I’ll bring onion dip.”

Dawson rolled his eyes yet again. “Are you capable of taking anything seriously?”

“I am taking it seriously, man. What do you want me to do, piss my pants? You’re still sending me, aren’t you? Going in there nervous is only gonna get me killed. I have to be confident. Me and Ivy. That’s the only way we’ll be able to sell this sh*t. Not to mention the fact that I’m not f*cking scared of him. He and his pack of chuckle f*ckers can suck my long, hard-”

“Alright, alright, dumb ass, relax. Get up. It’s late, you need to rest before tomorrow.” He stood, extending a hand to draw me up too. I glanced towards where Noble and Gage were halfway down the beach and caught my bottom lip between my teeth, whistling for them to return.

“Khase…I know you know but…”

“Yeah. You too, brother.” I yanked him into a fierce hug.

“And again. If you f*cking die…”

“Yeah, I know, you’ll kill me. Got it.”